For the Love of a Daughter
by LittleMissDelirious
Summary: What if Melena Thropp had never died? And what if all she ever wanted was for Elphaba to find the perfect man? But what if Elphaba started finding out secrets about her mother's past that were supposed to stay buried? Fiyeraba. Modern AU.
1. The F Word

**A/N: Sometimes I just don't think Melena's two minutes of musical stagetime cut it. And sometimes I don't think the eighty pages in the book that allow her to scar her family for life cut it either. So I'm giving her another chance to screw things up, so she can make them better without the interference of pesky foreigners, frisky Quadlings and the circle of life.**

* * *

><p>"I can't take this. I'm going to get another cup of coffee."<p>

Shell grabbed his mom by the shoulder and spun her back around. For a tall Munchkin, she was pretty short. He raised his thick eyebrows to illustrate his disapproval, knowing full well that he could get away with it. "Uh, uh, uh, you're cutting back on coffee remember?"

"Yeah, we got you down to three cups a day," Nessa threw in.

Melena blinked at Nessa as if she had never seen her before. "And you don't know how _hard_ it is." She threw the back of her hand against her forehead dramatically. "The ratio of coffee to kids should be two to one _at least_."

"Tell you what. I'll let you go if you buy us a cookie," Shell offered.

Ruffling his hair, Melena straightened his collar and answered proudly, "That's my boy!" She checked her phone. "God, it's early!"

"You told Elphaba to catch the red-eye," Nessa reminded her. Someone had to show Melena some kind of patience when Elphaba wasn't around and it sure wasn't going to be the fast-paced, busy-bodied Shell.

"Then the freaking plane was delayed an hour," Shell huffed, displaying just a touch of his inner restlessness.

"Swearing isn't cool," Melena reprimanded, poking Shell in the shoulder and then straightening up. She led them over to a group of chairs and pushed Shell into one of them. "I'm going to be back in ten minutes. You are going to be right here with your sister. If I come back and you've run off again _there will be consequences_. If I come back and you two are fist fighting again _there will be consequences_."

Nessa giggled. "I hope we don't embarrass Elphaba." She was referring to all of the sophisticated university parents seated sparsely through the area. Graduate siblings sat across from their parents in sweater vests and neatly ironed skirts.

Looking around at the scene, Melena shrugged carelessly. "You know what? We made it here and Elphaba should be grateful for that. Being normal was _not_ part of the offer." She started walking away and turned back to face them about ten steps later. She squinted and pursed her lips, flashing them the "I'm watching you" sign before starting on her way again. As she wandered away, she paid no mind to the glowers she got from the mothers of the other families. She might have been the only one in jeans and sneakers, but she was also the most comfortable.

"I think it's me who's supposed to be in charge," Shell stated blandly, turning to Nessa.

"I'm two years older, idiot," Nessa shot back, shooting him a glare as intense as their mother had just given them.

"But what if someone came up and just wheeled you away?" Shell pointed out, making circles with his index finger. "It's me who's stopping that." _Not that he was bragging or anything._

Completely offended, Nessa rotated her wheelchair so that she was facing him directly. "I can fend for myself!"

"Oh, really?" Shell pressed the tips of his fingers together and looked at Nessa intently in a way not all that different from his father when dealing with Melena. "How?"

"Elphaba said I have powers too! She's taking a sorcery class and she's going to show me!" _So ha_, _sucker,_ Nessa thought, but didn't add. She prided herself on her sweet demeanor and kept most of her thoughts to herself.

"Pffft. Powers are useless," Shell decided, envy seeping out of his voice.

"You're so jelly!" Nessa exclaimed.

Shell stared at her blankly. "I'm not _jelly_!" He stammered through his thoughts and finally shot back, "Elphaba just loves you more!"

"Mom loves you more!"

"Dad loves you more!"

Nessa opened her mouth to reply and then closed it. "...good point."

They lapsed into a comfortable silence and watched the people rush by trying to make last minute flights, laughing at a few frantic businessmen with bad connection on their phones. At one point Shell left to follow one around without him knowing and sent Nessa into a fit of giggles. When the man finally noticed the fourteen year old making faces behind his back, he chased Shell away.

Nessa sighed. "Can you believe I'm sixteen and I've never been out of Munchkinland?"

Shell patted her shoulder reassuringly. "It's okay Ness, one day, you and I, we'll rule Oz."

"What about Elphaba?"

"Well that could be a problem." Shell rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "If you get Munchkinland, she'll have to form a tie somewhere else and rule part time."

Nessa shook her head. "And you?"

"I'll rule _all _of Oz."

"So like...you're the next Wizard?"

Shell looked at her exasperatedly. "You just said I have no powers!" He tapped his foot and looked around. "I kinda like the term _emperor_..."

"That sounds like a plan," Nessa reasoned. "Shake on it?" She offered her hand and Shell shook it.

"So..." he started.

"So..." Nessa finished.

Shell reached over and pinched Nessa's shoulder. "Don't repeat me!"

Pinching him back, Nessa dug her nails into his arm as far as she could. "You're a horrendible conversationist!"

"Okay fine. I have a topic." Shell cleared his throat loudly. "How come such a cool person like mom had such boring daughters?"

"Boring?" a voice said behind them. "And here I was all this time under the impression that I was interesting!"

"Elphaba!" Nessa squealed, reaching up to hug her sister.

Elphaba bent over to embrace Nessa and then turned to Shell. "And look, you brought my bag boy!" She slid her bag off her shoulder right onto Shell's lap, who picked up the tote bag full of books by the straps and mentally weighed the capacity of his sister's nerdiness.

Just then their ears were assaulted by an excited scream and Elphaba whirled around expectantly as her mother shoved her coffee into Nessa's hand and ambushed her eldest daughter with a hug.

Elphaba looked at Nessa and Shell bewilderedly over her mother's shoulder. "What's with this affection?"

"Mom took too many happy pills this morning," Shell joked.

Elphaba stared at him, horrified.

"He's kidding," Nessa reassured her.

Melena stepped back, but kept her hands on Elphaba's shoulders and looked her over. "So now I can't be happy to see you?" She ignored Elphaba's ready reply. "I mean, come on! You didn't even come home for spring break!"

"I had exams-"

"I haven't seen you since Lurlinemas! What if you looked different? Or found a new hobby? For all I know you could've caught the plague!"

"It's okay mom, I look the same, like the same things and am completely plague free as of a few months ago."

Melena's mouth fell open.

"Kidding."

"Oh, okay...good." She cupped Elphaba's face in her hands. "Oh my goodness, you're finished your first year of university! I can't even look at you, I feel so old!"

"Gee, thanks mom..." Elphaba replied awkwardly and took her bag from Shell. "Can we go home? I feel like a zombie right now."

"_And you look like one too_!" Melena sang and dropped her purse in Nessa's lap. "Nessa, find my keys for me, will you?" She fell into the seat beside Shell and pulled Elphaba into the seat beside her. "Your father sends his regards, but he had some minister thing to do." She rolled her eyes, but no one noticed.

"That's alright," Elphaba sighed happily, leaning back and closing her eyes. "My two favourite people are here." She opened one eye and looked at Shell's sour expression. "Oh, are you still here?"

"Hey, hey, hey. _Be nice_," Melena interrupted.

"Well, then you should know that Shell called Elphaba and I boring," Nessa pointed out irritably, "which wasn't very nice at all."

Shell's jaw dropped open from surprise. He had been a self-convinced saint for informing Nessa of her fault. "You are boring! I was saving you the pain of someone else telling you!"

"What makes you so interesting?" Elphaba inquired menacingly. She never let Shell get away with insulting Nessa.

Melena waved her hands and shook her head. "I'm going to settle this right now. _I'm_ the most interesting person in the family."

Shell snorted. "Because you're forty-"

"WE DO NOT SAY THE 'F' WORD IN THIS FAMILY!" Melena cried immediately.

Nessa grinned and pulled the ring of keys from her mother's purse. She shook the bag in her lap and glanced back into the black leather portal. "Mom, you really need to organize this." She pulled out cable and ozternet bills that should have been paid a long time ago, as well as unsigned permission forms of Shell's for school trips. Thank goodness Shell was sneaky enough to have gotten by without them.

Waving it off, Melena took the keys and replied, "Don't worry. Elphaba can do that. I have a whole bunch of things I need her to help me with." And with that she started heading towards the doors, pushing her way through the crowd. Shell and Nessa took their rightful positions behind her. Follow the leader had been a game of theirs ever since they were squeaky voiced two and four year olds.

"Oh, how exciting..." Elphaba muttered to herself, shouldering her bag and following the leader to the car.

* * *

><p>It was exactly the same as it had been a few months ago; a year ago...well pretty much the same since she'd been born. Seventeen Berrytree Lane hadn't changed and probably never would. She remembered the year they tried purple flowers instead of blue in the garden and it just didn't work. The next year they planted triple the amount of blue flowers they usually would have just to make up for the mistake.<p>

But Elphaba wasn't that studious little high school student anymore. As much as she regretted thinking it, she would have preferred exploring Oz on her own than spending time in Munchkinland again. Now she was back home and Oz knows what her mother was planning. There was always something with that woman.

"So, what's it like to be back?" Nessa asked, drawing Elphaba away from her thoughts.

"And you don't have to lie to us," Shell added.

Melena jammed the key impatiently into the lock and turned it, letting them in. "She'd rather be backpacking the Kells than hanging out with us losers." Elphaba mock gasped. Turning around to survey her daughter, Melena tapped the side of her own head. "We share the same mentality, girlie. So don't try to pull the righteous attitude on me. That's Nessa's job."

Now Nessa was offended. "Hey!"

"Hey is for horses," Shell teased, collapsing on the couch in the living room with the others.

Her brother being the only person Nessa refused to take sass from, she replied, "The only horse in this family is you."

"That's _Horse_ to you, thank you very much."

"Alright," Melena interrupted, "talk to me. Grades?"

"Top of my class," Elphaba answered automatically. If there was one thing she could lord over everyone else, it was academics.

"How's my favourite headshiztress?"

"I still can't believe Morrible taught _you_." Elphaba remembered her first day when Morrible had innocently glanced down at the clipboard in her hands and then looked up with a mixture of rage, suspicion and concern. All it had taken was the name 'Thropp.'

Melena shook her head modestly. "Well, not to brag, but I was a student she wouldn't soon forget."

"Yeah and now she's keeping a close watch on me because of it," Elphaba huffed.

"Oh, well," Melena replied, looking around carelessly and then focusing directly on Elphaba. "I got a certain call from said headshiztress back in oh...when was it Shell?"

"April!" Shell recalled. "Dad was so _pissed_. You're in for it," he told Elphaba, laughing himself. Without Elphaba, it was usually him who had to take the lectures.

Elphaba held up her arms defensively. "I didn't mean to do it!"

Melena waved it off. "You're supposed to give teachers hell! It's what they're there for!" If only all parents had that mentality.

"I didn't want to give the teachers hell," Elphaba muttered and then she flushed as she remembered the incident. She took off her glasses and nervously fidgeted with them in her hands, pretending to wipe them on the hem of her t-shirt. "They took the poor Lion away from its mother!"

"Aww. How awful," Melena joked and then took hold of her son. "Imagine someone taking my poor wittle Shell-y well-y away from me!" She let go after many of his protests and thought for a moment. "How about friends?" But there was something about the way she said friendship that implied a little more than Elphaba understood.

"Still the same."

"Yeah, all two of them," Shell mocked.

"For your information, I have..." Elphaba spread out her hands and counted on her fingers. "Five friends."

"Any boys?" Nessa asked, trying to hide her curiosity and the colour quickly spreading across her cheeks.

Elphaba swivelled her head to look at Nessa. Nothing about her facial features said anything about what she was about to say being a joke. "Don't even think about it."

Shell playfully punched Nessa's shoulder. "Pfft! Like anyone would ever like you!"

Nessa shot him a look and tossed her hair. "I'm pretty and smart. What's not to like?"

Melena sipped her coffee and then set it down. "Alas, Nessa is the only one who took after me_. Brains and looks."_

"Hurtful," Shell and Elphaba said at the same time, but they were both biting back laughter. Intelligence _was_ a trait passed down in the Thropp family...and it certainly wasn't from Melena's side.

"You know," Melena cut in. "You should invite what's-her-name over sometime."

"Mom," Elphaba said evenly, "Galinda lives in Gillikin."

"Maybe we can go see her then," Melena suggested, with slight desperation that everyone took as excitement. "I've always wanted to go to Gillikin again."

Elphaba laughed. "I think Galinda and I have very different lifestyles...and family members..." The day she brought her best friend home to meet her family would be the day monkeys flew.

"Oh, tell us some stories!" Nessa pleaded.

So Melena sat and listened patiently as her daughter started telling them about her roommate, her dorm, her teachers and classes and everything she could think of, but the one thing Melena really wanted to hear about didn't seem to be coming up. When Elphaba was finished talking, Nessa finished questioning and Shell done cracking lame jokes that his sisters didn't understand, Melena waited a few moments in silence and asked, "Anything else?"

Elphaba bit her lip. "Umm no. Not that I can think of."

"You're absolutely sure?"

"Yep."

"Positively positive?"

A confused look crossing her face, Elphaba replied uncertainly, "...yeah."

"Alright, then, you might as well get settled in...and maybe some sleep. Oz knows you could use it." But they could all tell that Melena wasn't quite done with Elphaba yet.


	2. Princess in Plaid

Walking into the kitchen when Melena called her down to dinner was like walking out of a time machine. Elphaba didn't know whether to find it comforting or disturbing. Nessa at one end of the table, Shell across from her, her father at the head and her mother at the counter, probably having forgotten to make dinner in the first place.

"Elphaba, Elphaba, Elphaba," Frex droned when he saw his eldest daughter. His tone wasn't angry or intimidating, but on the other hand, it wasn't overly excited. "Take a seat."

"Hey there dad," Elphaba grumbled, seating herself at the table beside Nessa. She stared at the opposite wall at Shell's old crayon markings. He had been a very artistic two year old.

"Must be good to be home," commented Frex from behind a newspaper.

"Yeah, I-"

"Of course she's happy to be home! She gets to see me again!" Melena interrupted. Rarely could Frex and Elphaba get a multiple line conversation in without another family member acting the part of the distraction.

"So modest. _So_ modest," Shell sighed.

Melena tossed her hair and looked back at Shell playfully; her pretty face giving off the glow only a mother could. "I know, right?"

Nessa did the same. She looked so much like Melena that it was a little frightening. "Our modesty becomes us."

Elphaba laughed and tossed her hair over her shoulder, while turning to face Shell. "Apparently, we're all becoming clones now!"

However, Shell did not look very amused. He glared at them all in turn and then snapped, "Do it right or don't do it at all!" He swung his arm next to head as if it were on a hinge and flipped his shaggy brunette hair. "Like a flip, flip kinda thing." Then it seemed to dawn on him what he had said and he went pale. "Oh no! I'm turning into one of them!"

With satisfaction, Nessa turned to Elphaba and whispered, "We located Shell's feminine side while you were away. Now we just need to find yours."

By the way Melena was guiltily focused on mixing a salad, Elphaba hazarded a guess at who Nessa's partner in crime had been. "But I thought I was already your clone!"

"You'd never survive as a clone of Nessa," Shell countered. He seemed to have found himself again and knew exactly how he could win this battle. "Were you planning on attending church tomorrow?"

But Frex cleared his throat and everyone fell silent. Church, of course, was not a laughing matter. Thank goodness Melena started setting plates in front of Shell and Nessa just in time to break the tension that had so quickly settled over the family. She had perfect timing that way. Partly to steer the family away from unnecessary arguments and partly because she liked to be the centre of attention.

"It's better than last night," Nessa whispered. "She didn't remember dinner until nine!"

Melena wasn't one to take dinner-related abuse. "No complaints at the dinner table!" The faintest blush crept up her rosy cheeks, as Elphaba silently chuckled into her water bottle.

"Elphaba cooks better than you anyway," Shell pointed out and Nessa nodded her agreement. "One day we're just going to move into her dorm with Glinda."

"_Ga_linda with a gah," Elphaba corrected. It was her duty as a friend to defend Galinda's name when she wasn't around to do it herself.

"She's a sweet one," Melena stated, handing a Shell a napkin and wiping his face for him when he wouldn't do it himself. "She called earlier and asked for you, but you were sleeping so I talked to her instead."

"WHAT?" Elphaba cried. "How long did you talk for?"

Melena shrugged. It had been a really interesting conversation. Galinda was in tune with the social side of Shiz that Elphaba (bless her soul) had no idea of. "Maybe...twenty minutes?" She saw Elphaba preparing to freak out and cut her off by changing the topic. "Anyway, Galinda's a pretty name! Her mother is almost as good as yours truly."

"Shell sounds like a girl's name," Nessa murmured.

"It's okay. Emperor Shell makes it sound less girly," Shell pointed out. His empire plan was always mentioned around the non-believers. Either Frex and Elphaba would come around or they would be forcibly bowing to him.

Nessa laughed. "Shut up, Shelly!" Even Frex cracked a smile.

"That's almost as cute as Elphie...oh yes Elphaba, your friend told me all about your little nickname! She's got quite a mouth on her," Melena said nonchalantly.

Elphaba set down her fork. "She didn't tell you anything else, did she?"

"Should she have?" Melena asked suspiciously, narrowing her hazel eyes at Elphaba.

"Speaking of which," Frex cut in seriously, "we need to have a little talk."

"Don't worry we already covered that," Melena tried. Had Frex not known her for so many years, he probably would have fallen for it. On top of everything else, Melena was an incredible actress.

"I'm sure you did," Frex replied absentmindedly, "and I'm sure you told her that it was okay."

"It's okay, Elphaba," Shell reassured his sister, brandishing his fork along with his words. "We all have to take it sometimes...except for _some _people." He pointed his fork towards Nessa discreetly.

"All parents treat their children equally," Frex said flatly.

"Yeah, and my skin's pale and Shell grew a brain and started to use it," Elphaba countered.

"Wait...I actually thought you were defending me for a minute there..." Shell said.

"Alright, everyone calm down," Melena said impatiently and then got over it momentarily. She proceeded to tell them all about the day she had had and the errands she had gotten done. All around the table everyone listened to her speak.

Eventually, Shell stretched out his arms after he had devoured half of the food. Melena never said anything because he was her _growing baby boy_. "Well, that was good, but now I think I'll go watch some TV." He passed by the table and left the room, in few seconds they heard a muffled swear as he dropped the convertor on his foot.

"Wait! Saturday's my TV night!" Melena cried and bustled out of the room after him.

Elphaba watched Nessa out of the corner of her eye. Her sister was her only hope now. But that didn't last long. "I think I'll go read for a bit," Nessa said softly.

Once the room was empty, Elphaba marvelled at how quickly they could disperse compared to how slowly they came together. She got up to leave, but Frex called her back. "Not so fast."

Elphaba sunk into her seat and traced the patterns of the wood on the table. "So close."

"You need to learn to control yourself," Frex stated sternly, his eyes never leaving Elphaba, who was avoiding his eyes at all costs.

"The Lion was only a baby. No one else was going to help him," Elphaba replied, even though her logic told her not to.

Her father didn't even seem to be listening to her. She wondered fleetingly how long he had been planning this lecture. "Well, obviously the Lion was there to educate, so not only did you disobey teachers, but you deprived others of a lesson and put them in danger."

Remembering how everyone in the room had frozen, Elphaba realized she hadn't even thought of that. Damn. Parents always seemed to have the upperhand. "It wasn't dangerous-"

"Did you know what you were doing? And were you certain that the Lion was never going back to the wild?"

"Well, no...not exactly. But-"

"So you acted on impulse?"

She couldn't help but wonder if he actually expected her to answer that truthfully. "No, I didn't!"

A sixth sense was telling Elphaba that she was about to be hit with the punchline and she braced herself. "Elphaba, if your daughter did something like this, how would you react?" Frex asked.

"If my daughter ever did this, I would be proud of her," Elphaba retorted, "for actually standing up for something."

"I'm not paying tuition to Shiz, so that you can make a fool of yourself and this family," Frex reprimanded. his voice rising slightly. "You know that Nessarose is graduating high school a year early and I have to be sure she'll be in good hands for next year." Although Frex acted like he was the only one worried about this, he didn't quite realize that Melena, Elphaba, and even Shell wanted Nessa to find nothing but happiness in university.

"So that's what this is about?" Elphaba breathed. "You don't think I'll take care of Nessa?" This was funny, seeing as Elphaba was almost one hundred percent sure that she knew Nessa better than anyone else. "Nessa means just as much to me as she does to you!"

Frex looked at Elphaba coldly. "Are you sure of that?"

"You know what? You're right." Elphaba knew what she was going to say would earn her a negative amount of points in her father's books, but she was willing to say it anyway. "I know that Nessa means even _more_ to me than she does to you."

Frex sprawled his hands across the table and exhaled loudly. "The last thing I would want to do is take you out of Shiz, so that I can keep an eye on you and your sister."

"I promise I'll take care of Nessa no matter what." The words didn't mean a thing. Elphaba had promised herself that long before this. Looking at Elphaba closely, Frex nodded slightly and left the room, leaving his daughter at the table feeling completely drained until a few hours later when Melena swooped in to fix the situation.

Elphaba craned her neck past her history textbook to see who was coming into her room and then put it down as Melena shut the door behind her and laid down comfortably beside her daughter, hooking her arm through Elphaba's. "You know I have a daughter?" she started.

"Oh, really?"

"Yes, I do," Melena answered quietly, "and I'm very proud she stands up for herself."

"Good for Nessa."

Melena laughed like it was the first genuinely hilarious joke she had heard in a while. "Nessa's never had to stand up for herself a day in her life."

"She shouldn't have to," Elphaba retorted.

Although protective of Nessa, Melena wasn't as biased as Elphaba and Frex were. "Hmm, well maybe we all have to at least once."

Elphaba tilted her head to look up at her mother. "What do you mean?"

"Life would be pretty boring without a bit of drama-rama here and there," Melena answered. Everyone knew she was a big fan. In fact, some might call her the reigning queen of drama-rama. "Because there are two things you never want to be: bored and alone."

Galinda had often instructed Elphaba on productively wasting spare time, so she decided to pass on the knowledge. "It's not hard to occupy yourself when you're bored," she advised. "Read a book, watch a movie, call a friend..."

"I'm not as easily satisfied as you, honey," Melena teased.

Elphaba could sense that Melena was trying to cover something up, but she didn't question it further. "Well, according to Galinda one is this year's two."

"How long has she been saying that?"

"Since her boyfriend dumped her."

Melena chuckled slightly. Her voice had a sweet musical note to it even when it was low and forced. "When you've experienced what it's like to have friends and happiness and everything else you want, you don't ever want to go back."

"I don't really understand what you're getting at..."

"Not yet, you don't," Melena sighed and pushed herself up from the bed. It was like nothing had happened. "Sweet dreams, babe."

Elphaba watched her close the door behind her and then looked around bewilderedly. She couldn't ever be sure what was going on with her mother, but all the same, those short and sweet moments of affection made her feel so much better.

* * *

><p>The next morning Elphaba entered the kitchen in her pyjamas to see her family, all equally underdressed, sitting around the kitchen table. Frex had already left for work and Melena was dissolving herself in her coffee.<p>

"Good morning, Elphaba!" Nessa called sweetly.

Elphaba grumbled a reply and poured a cup of coffee for herself. "What are you doing with my coffee?" Melena complained.

"She's not herself until she's finished her third cup," Shell explained.

Elphaba glared at him. "You think I don't know that?" Who did he think had passed that trait down to Elphaba? Between Frex, Nessa and Galinda, Elphaba was blinded by the sunshine-lollipop attitude that polluted her mornings.

"Ugh," Nessa groaned, "you guys are such downers. It's such a nice day out!" She was right. The sun was shining and people were out for early walks and playing games. "We should spend some time outside before we have to go."

Melena's face slid down from her hands so her forehead was flat against the table. She let out a fake sob. "What do you mean _have to go_?"

"I have violin lessons," Nessa explained, a little irritably.

Shell banged his spoon against his cereal bowl. "And I have football."

With a sigh, Melena slid sideways in her seat so she was facing Elphaba, who was leaning against the counter. "And you?"

Elphaba shrugged. "I was going to renew my library card. I can walk though." She couldn't hide her confusion as her mother instantly perked up.

Grabbing Shell's cereal bowl (before he was finished) and clearing Nessa's plates, Melena dumped them in the sink and rushed her words. "That's alright. I need to talk to you, so you can come with me. I need to take Nessa to piano-"

"_Violin_," Nessa corrected.

"-and Shell to basketball-"

"_Football_," Shell corrected.

But Melena ignored them and pestered Shell until he dragged himself off the chair and out of the room. All of that and Elphaba was still frozen in her spot, the coffee cup half raised to her lips. "Should I be worried?"

Nessa nodded uncertainly. "Very."

* * *

><p>Sitting alone in the car while Melena was sorting out things for Nessa, Elphaba absentmindedly tapped her fingers to the pop song that had been left playing. The library was only...what? A few blocks away at the most. It was one of those things that made surviving family life all the easier.<p>

All of a sudden, Melena returned to the vehicle and instantly switched the radio off. She started right away so fast that Elphaba struggled to keep up. "Now I noticed yesterday when you were telling me about school, you left something very important out and I figured it was because your siblings were around, but now they're gone and you're free to tell me everything. So?" She looked at Elphaba expectantly.

Elphaba mentally scanned the conversation she had had with her mother about school. "I'm pretty sure I told you everything."

"No you didn't." Melena sounded like she knew exactly what she was talking about.

"I honestly have no idea what you're talking about," Elphaba replied bewilderedly. She wasn't making eye contact anymore because this was getting way too weird. "Is it something that'll get me in trouble?"

"Definitely not." Melena paused a moment. "Well, I see certain circumstances in which it can, but we don't have to worry about that."

"_What?"_

Melena leant her head back against the seat and closed her eyes. "And I was actually trying to be subtle about this."

"That was your idea of subtle?"

Peering at Elphaba through one eye, Melena muttered, "We're not a very subtle family." But she caught herself. "Why are you stalling? Quit stalling!"

"Sweet Oz! I don't know what I'm stalling about!" Elphaba blurted.

"Your BOYFRIEND!" Melena blurted. So dumbfounded that she found it hilarious, Elphaba burst out laughing until she was gasping for air and left Melena the seriousness. "I don't see what's funny."

Between breaths, Elphaba wheezed, "What gave you that idea?"

"Well..." Pfft. Like Melena had a clue. "For one: you're in university and for two: you're not surrounded by us."

Elphaba managed to get a grip on herself and she was serious again. "Firstly, if I do date, I'm going to date someone who's okay with my family. Which brings me to my next point: I'm _not_ dating."

"But then you like someone at least." She was assuming again, but assuming hopefully. Her daughter shook her head serenely. "So if I call Galinda she won't have anything to tell me about a special guy?"

Elphaba thought carefully. "Well, I'm pretty sure Galinda's into Avaric but I can never be-"

"No!" Melena exclaimed exasperatedly. "I mean with you!"

"I'm not interested in anyone, but don't worry I'll keep you posted," was the sarcastic reply.

"But this is your time to try crazy shit! It's university! You're supposed to be sneaking off at night to drink and smoke and-"

"So you want me to do all of that?" Elphaba asked incredulously.

Melena shrugged. "I'm just saying..."

"That's what you did in university?"

"I certainly wasn't the angel I am now." Melena shot Elphaba a look, daring her to challenge the statement. "But that's beside the point. Is there someone who's caught your interest? You can tell me." Folding her hands in her lap, she mustered the most endearing face she could. "I promise I'll be good."

The name was on the tip of Elphaba's tongue, but she thought about it some more. She'd never heard Melena so interested in her personal life. Maybe that's why it's called s-_mothering_. "Nope."

Sensing that Elphaba was withholding information, Melena relented, "Fine. But promise me you'll start looking for someone. You can wait until you're back at Shiz. Munchkins aren't very pleasing where it counts. _Not _that I would know."

"Mom!"


	3. Charity Case

Over the next few weeks Melena didn't pester Elphaba so much, but took the time to enjoy having her daughter home. In fact, she enjoyed having all three of her kids home. Cue the evil laugh, because during summer she couldn't let them escape her all day. Sure enough, Elphaba spent a lot of time at the library or in her room and Shell was always out doing...what did Shell do anyway? But still, they would be home sporadically through the day and pop by Melena's room to say hello.

And then there was Nessa who didn't go out much. Not that she didn't have friends; she just seemed to prefer the company of her family. Melena could already tell she'd be the one who wouldn't stray too far from home...which was a pity, because Nessa was easily the most trustworthy.

Meanwhile, Elphaba just wasn't getting used to being home. Every day when she woke up there was something different going on. One day as she walked into the living room, all of the furniture had been pushed into the middle and Nessa and Melena were holding paintbrushes in their hands, waiting to recruit Elphaba to help them paint the room. Another time, Elphaba found them digging through their closets for clothes they didn't want and then proceeded to drag her on a shopping spree claiming they didn't have enough clothes.

It was enough to make Elphaba wish she had come out a boy four years younger than she was now and could go play football with Shell and his friends.

The problem was that Melena got bored too easily and constantly needed something to occupy her. Elphaba, Nessa and Shell knew this, and Melena's history of turning to other methods wasn't as much of a secret as she would have liked it to be. A few summers ago, entirely by accident, Shell had stumbled upon a cupboard of glass bottles and run right to his sisters.

Elphaba understood this better than her siblings. Melena had no friends; she had no other family save for her sister and Nanny who only came to visit at Lurlinemas. What was the point of being born rich and beautiful or living with four other family members, if you were going to spend every single day alone? And it wasn't even her husband who took pity on her. It was her children.

Not until two weeks before the end of summer break did Melena began to worry about Elphaba again. She didn't want her to leave, but she didn't want her to stay either.

"You come home during summer break to be with us, not study," Melena complained as she leaned against the frame of the door to Elphaba's room. Elphaba of course, was at her desk pouring over a textbook.

"And I'm spending time with you right now."

Melena pushed her bottom lip out in a pout. "But we need girl time!"

"What do you have against dad?" Elphaba retorted.

"Oh, please-" Melena waved her arm, "-I know_ I'm_ your favourite."

"I know _Shell's_ your favourite."

Melena pointed at Elphaba sneakily. "Ah, but can you prove it?"

"Nessa, Shell and I are stranded on an island with nothing to eat but each other. Who do you save?" Elphaba challenged.

With a snort, Melena replied easily, "You're stuck on an island with one of your parents for the rest of your life. Make your choice. Ten...nine...eight..."

"Touché," Elphaba relented.

"So I win?" Melena bounced up and down excitedly. "Excellent! I have just the prize!"

Elphaba groaned as Melena pulled a fancy looking invitation out of the back pocket of her jeans. Grabbing her glasses off the desk, Elphaba put them on and squinted at the delicate calligraphy on the front of the frilly invite. "Mother/daughter charity event?" Elphaba laughed. "I'd rather melt."

"I'd rather you melt too." Melena clasped her hands together and dropped to her knees. "But we never do anything with anyone else and I actually want to be a part of this one! Please?"

Her mother was on her knees, jokingly yes, but she was still serious about this. Elphaba also noted that it was almost the end of summer break and if they made too big a fool of themselves, at least she wouldn't be around to deal with it. "Alright, fine. When is it?"

"Today!" Melena squealed. It was high enough to rival a Galinda exclamation.

"You sure do have a lot of confidence in your persuasion abilities."

"What can I say? Nanny taught me well."

Sometimes Elphaba wondered about that.

* * *

><p>Since Melena seemed so invested in this idea, Elphaba tried (no, seriously) she did try to enjoy it. But it was proving a hell of a lot harder with every second she spent in whoever's house this was.<p>

And whoever's it was, when she opened the door, she made every effort she could to boast of the splendour of her mansion. It wasn't every day Melena Thropp decided to show her face around group events and no one was going to let it pass by unnoticed.

So Elphaba walked behind Melena silently, trying to duck down behind her mother's shoulders so that no one could look at her. More for Melena's sake than for her own. Every time Elphaba got a stare, it was reflected on the one who had given birth to her. As if Melena had looked through a book of colour swatches and selected green.

Through the grand doorway, up a set of spiralled stairs, circle once around a parlor, circle around another. Elphaba met people she didn't know existed; people she'd heard of; people she'd never want to meet again and people who either hinted their distaste or were outwardly open with it. Melena was trying her hardest to keep her temper, but she was paler than usual.

However, there was no masking the fact that Melena was more comfortable in the mansion than anyone else. Even being out of practice for twenty years. No one held a candle to Melena's royalty and they knew it. At forty-two she was the youngest mother there. She was also by far the most beautiful with her wavy brown hair flowing down her back, her soft features illuminated by the fakest of smiles and her hazel eyes; the only feature that the smile wasn't touching. Melena had never been very tall, but being in Munchkinland that didn't matter very much. She was thin, but her figure was full and she wore a shimmery dress that showcased it nicely. In other words, Melena was perfect.

Then there was Elphaba. Tall, awkward, as flat as flat could be, long straight hair that didn't do much else and intelligent brown eyes that were boring to anyone who didn't take the time to appreciate them. In other words, Elphaba was a lot harder to be jealous of than her mother.

Elphaba sighed, why Melena didn't bring Nessa and save herself the embarrassment, she would never know. But Nessa was off at the library, enjoying herself. Oz dammit.

Melena didn't have to stand on her tippy-toes to whisper into Elphaba's ears because she had chosen to wear heels and Elphaba, flats. "Why don't you go mingle with the daughters?" She wondered if she should pull a Frex and tell Elphaba not to make a spectacle of herself. Oh well, she wouldn't hold anything against Elphaba if a little drama were to occur. In fact, at this point, a little drama was encouraged, along with a lot of alcohol. Melena made a move to a waitress carrying a tray of drinks.

Elphaba nodded obediently and nearly ran off. In the main hallway, two girls sat at a table pestering every girl that went by to get a name tag, so everyone could "get to know each other better." Elphaba wasn't that stupid. It was to make gossiping easier later on.

"Excuse me, Elphaba, you need a name tag," one of them called as Elphaba slipped by.

Unable to avoid it, Elphaba spun on her heel and strode up to the desk. She smiled falsely. "Pfannee; Milla. How wonderful to see you!"

Pfannee nodded. "I'm sure it is, but you know this is a charity league, not a_ charity_."

Milla pretended to shove Pfannee. "Stop it; let her enjoy her time in a _real_ house."

"Can I get a name tag?" Elphaba replied flatly.

"Is it Elphaba like the saint?" Milla asked, uncapping the green permanent marker.

"You know with an A, as in _atheist_," Pfannee continued. "Your daddy must be so proud. How're the Quadlings doing?"

"Really well, actually. We just taught them how to say 'useless, prejudiced snobs' in standard Ozian." Elphaba was trying to hold her temper, but not succeeding very well. "No A."

Milla scribbled a name on a sticker and slapped it against Elphaba's shirt. But as Elphaba began walking away, she called her back. "Elphaba, honey, just because you're Galinda's charity case, doesn't make you ours."

Making her way away as quickly as possible, Elphaba bumped into one of the waiters and stepped back, apologizing profusely as she straightened out her skirt. She looked up and exclaimed, "Crope? You work for Pfannee and Milla? I always figured you to be one who valued their sanity."

Crope hunched in on himself a little. "It's just a onetime gig. Tibbett's helping out too. But since when did you want to be a society girl?"

"Well apparently my mom does." Elphaba shrugged. "Going back to family roots I guess."

Crope was startled and nearly dropped the tray of expensive looking glasses resting in his hand. Melena Thropp was infamous in Munchkinland. Her relationship with her mother, the Eminent Thropp, was no secret. On top of that, she had _actually_ let a Quadling into her home. "Your mom's here?"

"Yeah..." Elphaba said uncertainly. "Should I be concerned?"

Leaning down and speaking in a hushed voice, Crope confided, "No one seems to like her very much around here. Rumour has it, she has a bit of a reputation."

Elphaba laughed loudly. "Thanks for telling me." A few people brushed past her in stony silence and began giggling when they thought they were out of earshot. Crope noticed Elphaba's eyes following them.

"That might be due to your name tag." He pointed at the sticker on her shirt.

Looking down at her chest, Elphaba groaned and ripped off the nametag. _Artichoke _was written on it in green. "Bitch," she muttered.

Just then Milla came up behind Elphaba and pulled Crope away by the sleeve, just before she walked into another room she turned back and said sweetly, "You have to be cruel to be kind."

On the other side of the mansion, Melena wasn't faring so well either. Nobody approached her to start a conversation, but she didn't want to intrude on anyone else's. She didn't bother sneaking another drink, she just took it. "You're all staring at me," she said casually, spinning to address everyone in the room who had turned to watch her. "Is there something in my teeth?"

"Melena, dear, you should watch what you drink," a middle aged housewife said. Melena didn't know or care for a name. "Empty calories, you know. Why don't you try something _virgin_?"

"That was a good one!" Melena smiled sweetly. "How long were you working on that? Fifteen years?" She took one bold step towards the group. "Now you might have to watch _your_ habits," she shot back, "but I actually do _work_ around my household instead of moping around all day, watching my husband pretend to be faithful." She took a large sip.

The entire group was watching now and they all laughed, but clearly it wasn't _with _Melena.

"Well...you would know about faithfulness, wouldn't you?" The housewife looked around at her support group. "That's what you get when you move to poverty. You do have some nerve, my dear, deciding all of a sudden that your daughter is worth anything."

Melena set down her glass and took a slight step forward. "And what's that supposed to mean?"

"Well, goodness knows that Nessarose is the one to groom for high society," another woman piped up.

"And why is that?" Melena asked angrily.

"Because she can go out in public. Although I can't say many will take her seriously either. Now what about the boy? Is there something wrong with him?"

Melena was going red and it wasn't from the alcohol. "There is absolutely nothing wrong with any of my children." Her voice was tight and strong, but she wasn't even fooling herself.

"Now calm yourself down, darling. Everyone's a little bit disappointed in their children. You just have to bear it a little more than the rest of us." The leader of the she-wolf pack stepped forward and reached out as if to comfort Melena. "For your next marriage, consider wedding a rich man. You get around enough; you must've met one or two that caught your interest." They wouldn't stop now. "I mean, your legacy is being the mother of the green girl. Time for a change, don't you think? Although you always did enjoy scandal."

"That's enough!" Melena cried. She formed her words slowly. "I am proud of every single member of my family...especially my children. They're going to have a bigger impact on Oz than all of your children combined. And for the record, Elphaba is my favourite." She pushed her way through the crowd of women and stopped at the door dramatically. "Because no one knows the colour of a soul."

Forgetting all of her composure, Melena located Elphaba standing alone in a corner and closed her fingers around her wrist. She nodded towards the door and Elphaba looked at her mother gratefully. But on their way out, as they passed the parlor Melena had just scandalized, they both heard clearly.

"That Elphaba is going to turn out just like her mother. Such a low self-esteem. You said she's attending Shiz, didn't you? Well, I can't see her lasting more than a year more. I said it once and I'll say it again: there's no one in that family worth the high blood they were born with."

* * *

><p>"Don't listen to them," Melena said to Elphaba as she slammed the door to the car and savagely kicked off her shoes and yanked the pins from her hair.<p>

"Are you telling me or yourself?" Elphaba replied curtly, doing the same.

"It's just- I don't know. I don't fucking know." Melena leaned her head against the steering wheel, her shoulders shaking. Elphaba reached out and awkwardly squeezed her mother's shoulders. Throwing her hands up in the air, Melena cried, "I just hate knowing that we're so much_ better_ than them!" She sniffled, but she wasn't crying. "Okay. I'm fine."

Elphaba took her hand off of her mother's arm slightly, but it hovered a few inches away. "Are you sure?"

Melena nodded. "Yeah, yeah. Just focus on yourself, okay? And don't let anyone tell you what you can or can't be."

Elphaba stretched her legs out as far as they could go and rubbed her knees. "If I turn out anything like you, it'll be the best thing that's ever happened to me," she said softly.

"Be careful what you wish for."


	4. Nanny's Little Conniver

**A/N: What do you call a battle between two celebrities? Star wars.**

* * *

><p>Before long it was time for Elphaba to go back to school. She hadn't mentioned the charity event and things with Melena seemed to go back to the usual. Although Melena seemed slightly guarded around Nessa and Shell for a few days. She even decided that she'd accompany Elphaba all the way back to Shiz. Elphaba didn't complain. Melena hardly got to leave the house, let alone Munchkinland.<p>

The entire plane ride, Melena had chatted up the man beside her, the woman behind her and the kid in front of her. People who didn't know her by reputation were instantly drawn to her. Elphaba expected her to spend the whole cab ride talking to the driver too, but she was wrong. Melena completely focused her attention on her daughter.

She turned to Elphaba seriously. Much to Elphaba's surprise, her almond shaped eyes didn't have a hint of the laughter they usually had. "You have to promise me right now that you'll start looking for a boyfriend."

"Alright," Elphaba said flatly.

"That's an order!"

"You're my mother not the queen," Elphaba countered, fiddling with her phone in her hands.

Melena caught Elphaba's fidgety hands and held them still. "I'm being serious this time. I want you to find someone who's going to help you."

"Help me with what?" Elphaba exclaimed incredulously.

"Anything." Melena trailed off and then brought herself back to the conversation. "Anything at all. Opening jars during the day...homework...raising kids."

"Hold on. We're talking about kids now?"

"No!" She was getting frustrated for saying the wrong things. "I'm just saying that affairs are tacky and marriages can go wrong, so begin while you're ahead, you know? Form the right habits now."

Elphaba just couldn't grasp Melena's reasoning for bringing all of this up now. Hadn't Elphaba lived at home for seventeen years straight? "This all sounds very worrying..."

Melena squeezed Elphaba's hands. "Please?"

"Fine."

Exhaling in relief, Melena smiled. "Can I have a look around?" They had pulled up in front of the great Shizian gates.

Elphaba shook her head, but Melena was already out of the cab having shoved a bunch of bills into the front seat beside the driver. With a sigh, Elphaba bid the driver goodbye and walked around the emerald cab to get her bags. She found Melena just inside the gates looking around happily, but she wasn't looking at the architecture or the atmosphere. She was looking at the people; specifically of the male variety. Tapping Elphaba's shoulder roughly, Melena pointed at two boys walking by with books cradled in their arms. "What about them?"

"Crope and Tibbett?" Elphaba stuttered. "There's a rumour going around that they're-"

Melena gasped and covered her mouth as another guy sidled by. "OMIGOD! HE'S PERFECT!"

"Avaric!" Elphaba exclaimed. "Omigod! NO!"

Sighing out of exasperation, Melena watched the handsome student pass. "Sweet Oz, that's the perfect guy right there and you don't even want to try?"

"That guy is more Galinda's type." _More like he was the female Galinda._

"So then what's your type?" Melena demanded irritably; miming out her questions with her hands. She had a tendency to do that when she was frustrated.

A hand tapped Elphaba's shoulder and she spun around, thankful to have an excuse to change the conversation, but she cowered at the sight of who was behind her.

"Hey, Elphie."

"Hi, Fiyero." Elphaba nervously tugged at her hair.

"Ohmygoodness," Melena murmured to herself. She had seen the instant change in Elphaba's reactions.

The tall, lanky, olive-skinned Vinkun showed off his crooked grin. "It's nice to see you again," he said politely, "in one piece."

Elphaba blushed, wishing that the ground would swallow her whole.

Melena was on the verge of bursting. "This is the one!"

Fiyero's attention was drawn to the woman beside Elphaba. "So Elphie...you haven't introduced me to your sister yet."

Elphaba rolled her eyes. "You _would _say that."

Stepping forward, Melena offered a hand to the handsome mystery boy. "I'm actually Elphaba's mother; Melena."

"Nice to meet you." Fiyero's blue eyes sparkled warmly. He was well dressed too. "I didn't know Elphie had a mother."

Waving her hand, Melena shook her head humbly. "Oh, well...so many do..."

Not bothered by Melena's evident forwardness, Fiyero continued on. He hadn't expected anyone related to Elphaba to be so open. "I'm Fiyero Tigelaar. Elphaba and I met-"

"Last year. So I was told," Melena cut him off; plan in place. "I heard you two were really close."

Elphaba looked like she was going to resort to extreme measures to quiet Melena down, but she stayed in her spot awkwardly behind her mother.

"Really?" Fiyero laughed. He had a nice, soothing laugh to accompany his welcoming voice. "From Elphaba?"

Melena nodded, but Elphaba decided it was time to put an end to it. "Actually, my mother has taken a liking to long, detailed conversations with Galinda."

Fiyero nodded. Galinda was something akin to the _town crier_ of Shiz. Obviously she had found more effective ways of reaching beyond the vine-draped walls. "That makes a lot more sense."

"Definitely," Melena agreed. "Galinda is wonderful. I wonder if...maybe she had a boyfriend? She didn't mention it."

Blinking in surprise at the question, Fiyero shook it off. If Galinda had hinted to Elphie's mom about their break-up then maybe this woman was as trustworthy as she was cunning. "No, I'm not aware of one."

"Oh-" Melena pretended surprise,"-so then you're not dating her?"

"Nope."

"Oh. Is there a special someone though?" Melena was such a good actress. All three of them knew it. She could have won an Ozcar right then and there.

"Not at the moment," Fiyero admitted with a shrug.

"Wow!" Melena gasped. "A good looking young man like you? I'm not surprised though. You young people seem to be taking your sweet time. Just like my Elphaba here. Single as anything." She reached behind her for Elphaba's arm and pulled her daughter forward. "Oh, is that Madame Morrible? Don't want to talk to her. I wasn't exactly in her good books. It was very nice to meet you." She bustled away and was off the grounds in seconds.

Fiyero rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. "What just happened?"

"My mother," Elphaba replied, looking past the gates. "Well..." She took hold of her bags again. "That was incredibly awkward and I'm going to go now." She was off as quickly as her mother.

Fiyero still stood there confusedly.

* * *

><p>Time seemed to fly in Shiz University. Around the time that schedules were sorted out and teachers got sick of their students, October came to be and then November not too long after. Elphaba stayed close to Galinda and tried to avoid Fiyero at all costs, but that was not entirely possible. Try as she might, he was still in most of her classes and she didn't want to ignore him. Not to mention that he was still one of the closest friends Elphaba had, especially now that friends were so hard to come by. Apparently Pfannee and Milla were spreading word of Melena's scene back in the summer and people were holding it against Elphaba. It was the classic, "why can't your family just be normal" idea.<p>

And on top of it all. Melena had weaseled her way into having a weekly conversation with Galinda, so whenever Elphaba was doing a project with Fiyero or if Fiyero was in the dorm with them, sometimes...ugh...Galinda would even put her on speaker so she would talk directly to Fiyero.

Part of what Elphaba adored about Galinda was her trusting nature and easy manipulation, but when it came to Elphaba's personal life, social life and even love life she did not want Melena involved.

So on went the first few months and then putting on their winter boots, the Shizians trudged into December. Which meant one thing: Lurlinemas. Everywhere lights went up; trees went up; presents were bought.

One night Melena managed to get a hold of Elphaba and asked her, "How are things going at school?"

"Really, well, I'm almost ready for mid-terms," Elphaba answered, cradling the phone between her ear and her shoulder.

"So..."

"So?"

"How are things with you-know-who?"

"I don't know Voldemort personally, mom," said Elphaba sarcastically into the phone. "Don't worry. If I meet him I'll be sure to introduce you. We can set it up all nice. Champagne, scented candles, decorative pillows..."

"I meant _Fiyero_," Melena said irritably.

"There is_ nothing_ there," Elphaba whined as she folded an old shirt and stuffed it into the bottom drawer of her dresser.

"Oh, really?" Melena asked rhetorically. "Are you getting nervous talking about it?"

"Nope." Elphaba said automatically. She smiled smugly. What a good liar she was becoming. In fact her palms were sweaty and she couldn't concentrate, but that was beside the point. She just...she couldn't tell her mom these things. There was supposed to be a barrier there. Galinda and Fiyero didn't talk to their parents about this. Elphaba had made a point to ask them what normal teenager/parent relationships were. Oz knows, she had never been exposed to that with Frex and Melena.

Melena's voice interrupted her thoughts. "Are you thinking about him?"

Elphaba sighed. "No."

Just then Galinda bounced into the room with Fiyero on her heels. "So I told her that for us to be friends all she had to do was let go of the lameness and start liking all of the things I like. Was that so much to ask?"

"Not at all," Fiyero replied without thinking. He flopped onto Elphaba's bed beside Galinda and chattered until Galinda noticed Elphie on the phone.

"Elphie! Elphie! Elphie!" If Galinda were a bird, that would be her call.

Elphaba pulled the phone away from her ear. "What?" She didn't mean to sound rude, but she was pretty irritated.

Melena's voice sounded loudly through the phone. If Nessa and Shell were in the house their ears were probably ringing from the volume. "Is that Galinda? Give the phone to her!"

"Oh, it's your mom!" Galinda squealed and made a jump for the phone, clawing it out of Elphaba's hands with her manicured talons. She put it on speaker and set it on the desk, hopping around the room.

"Gaaaa-lindaaaaa is that you?" Melena sang through the phone.

"Yes it is!" Galinda paused and then added, "And Fiyero too!"

Elphaba could hear the wheels turning in Melena's brain. Plans were being formed in her desolate mind. The woman had too much spare time on her hands.

"Hello, Fiyero!" she called.

"Hey," Fiyero answered casually. The only thing more embarrassing for Elphaba than her best friend being best friends with her mother was her crush being best friends with her mother.

"I don't like where this is going," Elphaba muttered.

Once again, Melena was being the expert conniver Nanny had conditioned her into. It was a common belief that she had only been innocent for the first two days of life and then Nanny got her wrinkly old paws on baby Melena. "What are you guys doing for Lurlinemas?"

Galinda spun around in a little compact twirl. "I'm going home!"

"And you Fiyero?"

"I was actually going to stay at Shiz; my parents aren't home at the moment." Fiyero didn't sound upset. He never got upset about anything...or overreacted...or took things too personally. That was just one of things Elphaba couldn't get over.

Melena gasped.

"I_ really_ don't like where this is going," Elphaba repeated to herself.

"But you can't spend Lurlinemas alone!" Melena cried.

Elphaba realized what was going on too late. "Oh no-"

"Why don't you come stay with us for the holidays?" Melena offered kindly. Lunging for the phone, Elphaba fumbled for the button to end the call but Melena rushed, "IF YOU HAVE ANY OBJECTIONS SPEAK NOW OR FOREVER HOLD YOUR PEACE! NO? OKAY. SEE YOU THEN! BYE, HONEY." She hung up before Elphaba managed to press the right buttons.

"So I finally get to meet this family of yours?" Fiyero asked Elphaba amusedly.

Elphaba pointed at the door. "Get out."


	5. Lollipop Guilders

When Lurlinemas Break arrived, the campus bustled with life. People were always anxious to get back to their families and have a relaxing two weeks to themselves before exams could bring them down again. But once again, Elphaba was dreading the return to her family. She helped Galinda pack up her six suitcases and wished she could be going up to Gillikin instead. Galinda had offered, but she had to refuse. Family was her primary obligation. And now the Thropp family was Fiyero's primary destination.

Elphaba wouldn't be surprised if she got home and saw a whole wedding planned. But with her family around, it would probably look more like a circus, and Melena, the ringleader.

Their flight having been delayed by an unexpected blizzard in Munchkinland, Elphaba and Fiyero checked in their bags after seeing Galinda off and wandered around aimlessly. They finally decided to settle down in the terminal with a cheap cup of coffee and half a cookie each.

"So..." Fiyero began, "tell me about your family."

"Well, we take pride in being the most dysfunctional family in all of Oz," Elphaba said sarcastically. "My father, my mother, my sister and my brother. And if you're _lucky _you'll even get to meet Nanny."

"Nanny sounds cool."

Elphaba rolled her eyes. The sad thing being that Nanny was probably the only person who could pass for cool in the family and she wasn't even blood related. "Hopefully she'll just bother Shell the whole time."

"Your brother?" Fiyero asked cheerily. Someone at least was feeling the Lurlinemas spirit.

"Unfortunately."

"Okay..." Fiyero thought for a moment. "What about your sister?"

"The sweetest, most sensitive girl I've ever had the pleasure to know, if not a little overbearing at times," Elphaba replied honestly, "and she's stuck in a wheelchair for life too, as if things aren't hard enough for her."

Fiyero used his professional telepathy powers and guessed, "I'm going to say that Nessa is your favourite sibling and your mother is your favourite parent."

"Is it that obvious?" Elphaba shot back and reached for her coffee desperately. If she had been waiting alone she wouldn't have to make small talk; she could be reading. Taking a long sip from the steaming styrofoam cup, she noticed Fiyero grinning widely at her. "What?"

He laughed. "You just took my coffee."

Sure enough Elphaba looked at the little table between the seats and saw that she had absentmindedly taken the cup furthest from her. _Smooth move._ She set the beverage down and wiped her lips furiously.

Most people would have taken it the wrong way, but Fiyero just laughed again. "It's okay, I don't have cooties."

"Have you been cootie-free certified? It's better to be safe than sorry."

"Excuse me," Fiyero joked, "but I believe it was you who just kissed me."

Elphaba stuck out her tongue and examined the tip for any visible cooties.

"Because my lips touched the cup and then your lips touched it. Why so intrusive, Elphie? I didn't think we were ready to go that far yet."

"Have you been hanging around Galinda lately? I can tell," Elphaba responded flatly, pulling her knees to her chest and rubbing the tips of her boots for invisible dirt.

"I believe we were talking about your family before you changed the subject." Fiyero's attention span wasn't that short. He prided himself on his ability to keep up with ten minutes of a conversation.

"My family is like Lurline. You need to see it to believe it."

Fiyero was dumbfounded. "You don't believe in Lurline?" He knew Elphie was missing out on a lot of things that Oz had to offer, but this was going a bit too far. Who wouldn't love a fairy queen that broke into children's houses to bribe them with presents for food? If anything, Fiyero wanted to take a page out of Lurline's book and start doing that for himself. Millions of cookies all in one night didn't sound too shabby.

"Look, I'm sure faith will come up later, so I'm not talking about it now." Elphaba looked the other way, pretending to watch an irritated businessman pace back and forth. What kind of heroine broke into children's houses and bribed them with presents for food? That was something she could see Fiyero doing.

Outside the window, snow was falling softly to the ground. Each snowflake was defined nicely by the bright lights of the airport. "You know, in the Vinkus we don't get snow."

Leaning forward to claim one of the free magazines left out for the stranded suckers, Elphaba flipped through it, saw pictures of makeup and clothes and threw it back. She couldn't believe people actually read those things. In fact, Melena's weekly purchases were probably putting some rich editor's kid through college. Elphaba had no choice but to return to the conversation. "Sucks to be you."

"I'm sure you don't have beaches in Munchkinland," Fiyero retorted.

"I prefer snow to beaches."

Fiyero could see her discomfort as she fidgeted with her glasses and her scarf. "Galinda and Avaric decided to teach me the hard way what a snowball fight was. You wouldn't expect Galinda to have such good aim..."

Elphaba shifted her legs, so one was on the floor and the other held closer to her chest by her arms. "I don't think I was your friend then." Correction: Galinda and her friends were too busy being raging bitches. Not that Galinda's friends weren't _still_ raging bitches.

"Maybe we could have a snowball fight this weekend then. You can pelt me in the face like Galinda did." He laughed nervously.

"Don't worry. I'm sure my mom already has the whole weekend planned."

There had to be an end put to this tension. At Shiz, friendship came so easily to them and now he didn't know what was going on. "Has your mom always been a matchmaker?"

"What do you mean?" Elphaba exclaimed incredulously.

"It's not secret what she's trying to do," Fiyero said happily. "Not that I'm complaining too much."

Elphaba's jaw dropped.

"I'm getting really sick of Pfannee and Milla and the rest of them. You've always been much better company anyway. No offence to them, but I don't give a shit about who the latest campus slut is." Fiyero held his breath and bit his lip. "You know, lately, they won't shut up about you and your mom. Have you even met?"

"Ohhhhh, we've met alright."

Knowing better to get involved with the viciousness of girly politics, Fiyero asked, "Do I even want to know?"

Elphaba shook her head. "Let's just say, that my mom and I have been pushed too far out of society to ever show our faces again. Not that we were ever welcomed in the first place."

"But as the next Eminences people can't treat you like that," he argued.

"Which is the only affiliation my mom has with her parents. She's only Eminence when they die. In fact, Nessa's the only one of us three- that is my siblings and I- who's ever even met them." Which was a shame. Just from pictures, Elphaba was astounded by the beauty of the castle Melena had grown up in.

"It's not like that in the Vinkus," Fiyero said proudly. "We all live happily."

Elphaba pursed her lips. She could practically see his ego swelling and refused to acknowledge his statement.

Their silence was interrupted by the call for all passengers boarding the flight to Munchkinland. Fiyero jumped up readily and offered an arm to Elphaba. "Ready?"

Elphaba shouldered her bag and took his arm. "Well, there's no place like home," she said evenly.

* * *

><p>As expected, Elphaba's family was already waiting. Nessa and Melena had the same broad smile on their faces and even Frex and Shell had turned up. It seemed that Fiyero was the most interesting thing to happen to the Thropp family in a while and everyone wanted a look. Like being at the zoo when the lazy bears finally decide to get up and all the spectators topple over each other just to see.<p>

"Hello there Fiyero, it's nice to see you again!" Melena exclaimed when Fiyero and Elphaba were close enough to be heard.

Nessa extended a hand excitedly. Considering that Fiyero was friends with Elphaba, she hadn't expected him to be this cute. "Hi! I'm Nessarose!"

Shell stepped in front of Nessa and extended his hand in exactly the same way. "Actually, I'm the legendary Nessarose. She's an imposter."

Rolling her chair forward, Nessa rammed Shell's ankles and he moved out of the way. She smiled sweetly again. "That's Shell. Don't let him annoy you too much."

"Actually, I was hoping I could get tips," Fiyero joked.

"It's easy," Shell admitted with a shrug. "All you've got to do is find the utmost pet peeve. For example-" he pointed at Nessa discreetly, "-that one hates being outshone." He pointed at Elphaba. "And that one hates being put on the spot."

Fiyero looked at Elphaba through the corner of his eye. She was greeting her parents. He realized that she didn't look like either of them, but he couldn't observe for long because he had Nessa and Shell on either side of him demanding attention. Pulling on his jacket, asking him questions and then Shell even offered him a business card.

"Alright, alright," Melena interrupted; pulling Shell away. She turned to Fiyero. "You'd probably think my kids are starved for attention. They're not. Really. They're just greedy." She shot Nessa a look when she was about to protest. "Let's go home before the whole crowd decides to." Everywhere around them excited families were embracing their loved ones. The Thropp family had never been publicly affectionate. Until now, apparently. "Everyone stay together! In fact, let's hold hands just in case." Melena stuffed Elphaba's hands into Fiyero's.

So gloves were put on, coats zipped up and they set out. Elphaba led the way and Fiyero still hadn't relinquished her hand. Behind them Nessa and Shell chanted loudly to an annoying carol playing loudly over the radio.

"SHE SEES YOU WHEN YOU'RE SLEEPING. SHE KNOWS WHEN YOU'RE AWAKE. SHE KNOWS IF YOU'VE BEEN BAD OR GOOD SO BE GOOD-"

They were drawing so much attention and getting so many dirty looks that Frex had to put an end to it. And when Frex told them to shut up, they shut up. His threats weren't as empty as Melena's. Unless your name was Nessarose.

Elphaba was thankful to be out of the busy airport and in the open air. She still felt Fiyero's fingers around her own through her wool mitten. Honestly, she hoped there was some kind of glue that would hold it there forever. Not even the sounds of her siblings could take her out of this new state of dreamy oblivion.

Once again, behind her Nessa and Shell were causing a scene. Shell picked up snow in his gloves and shook the snowflakes all over Nessa, who in turn tore off her snowy hat and threw it at her brother's face.

"Separate," Frex ordered tiredly, pulling Shell to one side.

Nessa folded her hands and batted her eyelashes innocently. "It wasn't me, daddy. Shell started it."

Back up front, Fiyero leant over and whispered to Elphaba, "Your family seems really normal."

"You say that now," Elphaba warned, thinking back to the hundreds (possibly thousands) of dirty looks they had gotten en route from the airport baggage claim to the exit.

He squeezed her hand. "But I don't really care about normal."

* * *

><p>The car ride was extremely uncomfortable. It was Frex and Melena in front, Elphaba and Fiyero in the middle and Shell and Nessa in the back. Everything was silent except for the quiet carols emanating from the radio, which was strange. Usually Melena was right on the ball with whatever ridiculous conversation she had going.<p>

"Okay," Shell said loudly, "I see it's up to me...again." He cleared his throat. "So basically my friend told me that all Quadlings and Vinkuns are barbarians."

Everyone in the car except for Shell and Fiyero jumped.

"Nessa, slap your brother for me," Melena said tightly.

Nessa obliged and Shell cried out. Elphaba spun around and slapped him as well, for good measure.

"Shell, you're well aware that we don't think highly of stereotypes in this family," Frex said. Melena nodded fervently. It was the first thing the Thropps had seen her agree with him on in a long while. "There is absolutely nothing that separates the Quadlings from us."

"Or the Vinkuns," Elphaba added, confused that her parents had forgotten to put that one in.

"It's fine," Fiyero laughed easily. He looked at Shell. "I was under the impression that all Munchkins were short. Say, you don't happen to be a representative of the Lollipop Guild, do you?"

"Let's all be open-minded," Frex reminded.

"I didn't mean it," Shell complained, rubbing his arm. "It's just what my friend told me!"

"Maybe you shouldn't listen to everything your friends tell you!" Melena snapped. Nessa and Elphaba flinched. Melena never rounded on Shell like that. And he had said far worse in the past. Shell was known for comments that were racist, sexist, ageist and every other kind of –_ist_ there was.

"Look!" Nessa pointed out of her window. "They're putting up the neighbourhood tree!" They all watched as a group of Munchkins strung lights around the bottom of a tall pine tree.

Fiyero's brow wrinkled in confusion. The short little Munchkins circled around the tree and the sound of their carols resounded around the entire area. "But if it's the neighbourhood tree, shouldn't you be helping?"

"We're not considered part of the neighbourhood," Shell admitted and noticed the expressions he got from his family members. He cowered and held his hands in front of him for protection. "Don't hit me again!"

"So Fiyero," Nessa started; sensing the awkwardness that had thickened the air, "are you ready for the Lurlinemas specials? We always stay up late watching them."

Shell stuck his head in front of Nessa and assumed the attention. "Then we wake up early for PRESENTS!"

"Might I remind everyone that Lurlinemas is more than presents and cartoons," Frex said seriously, "nor the myths Nanny feeds us."

"It's about the food too!" Shell exclaimed and everyone trailed off into nervous laughter until ten minutes later when they pulled up to the family's house.

As everyone started unloading bags and people out into the cold, Fiyero pulled Elphaba aside. "Is this your house?"

"No. We're crashing someone else's house for the week," Elphaba shot back.

"But- the next three Eminences live _here_?" he asked incredulously, pointing to the shabby old wreck of a house as if Elphaba didn't know where to look.

"I hope you weren't expecting to be staying at Colwen Grounds," Elphaba said harshly. "I haven't even seen it for myself." Elphaba walked away and joined Nessa, who was opening the door for everyone. They stepped into the house and Elphaba was instantly confused. "Mom didn't put up the decorations?"

Nessa caught Elphaba's eyes worriedly. Not only had Melena not talked the entire drive home, she had spent absolutely no time on preparations for Fiyero. "I don't know why. She hasn't been overly busy or anything. Something's up. I'm so glad you're here."

"What am I going to do?"

"You always give mom and dad something to worry about together. This time I think it's your boyfriend." Nessa headed off to the living room and Elphaba stood there speechless.


	6. Who Wants to be a Melenianaire?

Later they all sat down for dinner around the kitchen table. Melena was tempted to use the dining room, but that was saved only for Lurlinemas Day and birthdays. Traditions were still traditions. Fortunately, unlike the horrible car ride, conversation seemed to be flowing a teeny bit better with food involved.

"Fiyero, how long have you been Elphaba's boyfriend?" Nessa asked deviously. Contrary to common beliefs, the kid could be as mischievous as her mother.

"He's _not_ my boyfriend," Elphaba muttered.

Fiyero slid his arm around Elphaba's shoulders. "Well, we were thinking of a spring wedding, weren't we Creampuff?"

Elphaba gasped and whacked Fiyero's face with her spoon. "He is _not_-"

"Spring weddings are lovely," Melena threw in, dreaming of the luxurious wedding she never had herself.

"Fiyero, what are you studying at Shiz?" Frex interrupted. Of course a boyfriend of Elphaba's was expected to be a highly respected student. A boyfriend of Nessa's was expected to be _nonexistent._

"A little bit of everything, just like Elphie," Fiyero answered politely. Which was good. Elphaba had been worried Fiyero didn't have a polite side to him, because she had never seen it. Needless to say, Frex and Melena couldn't be bribed to keep Fiyero around like Madame Morrible and Professor Nikidik could. "We have science and history together."

Frex eyed Elphaba warily because she was intentionally avoiding his eyes. "And your parents are okay with that? That you have no clear career intended?"

"Well, school is just something to do. I'm going to have to rule the Vinkus either way."

Melena nearly choked on a carrot. "YOU'RE A PRINCE?" She bowed from her seat in the traditional Vinkun way.

The gesture brought out the royally arrogant side of Fiyero and he smacked his lips together. "Well, yeah, but a prince of the Vinkun king has nothing on the daughter of the Eminence." He noticed the way Melena's eyes lit up and it gave him the same feeling he felt when his own mother beamed in such a way.

"You weren't planning on anything else?" Frex inquired further. He was still somehow managing to use Fiyero against Elphaba.

"So you live in Kiamo Ko?" Melena asked, cutting her husband off. "I went there once. The west coast is stunning."

Finding Melena's statement a little surprising, Fiyero grinned. Not many people had been to the Vinkus. It was a land of untamed beauty, but not of the easiest access or the most interest to tourists. "I was thinking of maybe making a move to the city. See how I can fare there," Fiyero answered; addressing Frex's question.

"My father doesn't approve of that plan," Elphaba said sourly, stabbing a lettuce leaf with her fork. Much of her frustration with her father was dealt with through salad related violence.

"I'm only saying I think the political course was a better match for your future," Frex said casually, still under the belief that Elphaba would change the undecided major that definitely wasn't politics.

Melena slammed her hand against the table with a sudden vehemence. "I told you that Elphaba and Nessa aren't going into politics unless they want to!" She took a deep breath and evened out her tone. It was like nothing had happened. "And they won't because I've taken a few tips from Nanny, so I can outlive them and they'll never be stuck with the job."

"How old is Nanny?" whispered Fiyero.

"No one really knows," Shell confessed.

"She took care of our mom, us and we're banking on the fact that she'll take care of our children," Nessa added. "Maybe she'll meet our grandchildren too. Wouldn't that be crazy?"

Shell looked around at each of the empty plates, before the conversation took a turn for the worst. He had been waiting for this moment all night. "Everyone done? Excellent!"

Elphaba put her face in her hands. "Oh no."

"What?" Fiyero looked around wildly; no one else seemed to be having a reaction.

"MONOZPOLY FRIDAY!" Shell yelled.

* * *

><p>"That's ten," Shell calculated and moved his mother's figure close to the corner of the board, past his. (He always demanded to be the statue of the Wizard in homage to himself being the next emperor of Oz.)<p>

Nessa stared at the colourful board in awe of her brother's stupidity. "Shell, five and four makes nine. _Not_ ten."

Counting on his fingers to make sure Nessa wasn't fooling him, Shell moved Melena's figure over one more to the very corner of the board. "Ha! Mom go to Southstairs!"

"Okay, I'm going to forfeit," Melena decided. She threw half of her money into Nessa's pile of cash and half into Shell's.

"Way to favour," Elphaba complained.

"Once you pass eighteen you don't get my Monozpoly charity anymore," Melena replied, she put her arms behind her onto the seat of the couch and pulled herself up so she could watch comfortably. The rest of them were all stuck on the floor battling it out. Losing interest quickly, Melena began to study one of the fake bills. "You know, if I had my own money, a millionaire would be called a Melenaianaire."

Meanwhile Frex rolled the dice, oblivious to Melena's thoughts. If he earned a dollar for every abstract idea that came out of his wife's mouth, he would be one rich Melenaianaire. Landing a four, Frex moved his piece over to the square marked as Kiamo Ko.

Shell laughed shrilly. "You owe me big bucks now!" He calculated the price with his four houses on the property (with the help of Nessa) and ended up robbing his dad of all the money he had. Frex moved onto the couch beside Melena in defeat, where she began to laugh and taunt him for another loss.

"You're the next loser," Elphaba muttered to Fiyero.

"Have a little faith," Fiyero countered.

Elphaba snorted. This idiot actually just told an atheist to have a little faith. "That's cute. Too bad it _always _comes down to Shell and Nessa."

"In that case, I'm going to need some extra luck." He handed the dice to Elphaba on his turn. "I want you to roll for me."

"Me?"

That grin was undeniable. "You're my good luck charm...and if something happens I can blame it on you."

"Can't argue with that logic," Melena added. Her already sweet voice seemed to have gotten a thousand times sweeter with Fiyero around.

Elphaba sighed and threw the dice across the board. Fiyero moved his piece and landed on the Quadling Swamp, which Nessa owned, but happened to be the cheapest property on the board. Considering that Shell alone owned half the board, that was luck.

Now it was Elphaba's turn and she met her end. Right on the Palace of the Wizard. Handing over all her money to Shell was more difficult than losing itself. If Fiyero or Nessa didn't win there would be trouble. Friday night Monozpoly was reputed for its resulted hairpulling, biting and clawing.

So it was down to Shell who owned: the Palace, Kiamo Ko and Mockbeggar Hall; Nessa who owned: Colwen Grounds, Shiz and all of the stations, then Fiyero who was thriving off a series of small properties. Needless to say, his most expensive property was the Corn Exchange. He wasn't going to win.

Soon enough, Fiyero met his end on Colwen Grounds. (_Don't we all_, Melena thought.) He put one elbow on the table and looked around at Elphie. "You were supposed to be my good luck charm."

Elphaba leaned back on the palms of her hands and stretched her legs out under the coffee table. Her hair fell prettily over her chest. "I'm sorry; I just really felt the pressure on that last roll."

Leaning back himself, Fiyero covered Elphaba's right hand with his left and met her eyes as they made contact. Elphaba's palm lifted slightly and he curled his fingers around it, tracing the lines etched into her skin. They lost the moment when Shell's screams interrupted them.

"HA! KISS MY MONOZPOLY WINNING A-" Frex glared at Shell and he sat down. "_Butt_," he amended. "Kiss my Monozpoly winning _butt_."

Nessa pouted. "I saw you stealing money from the bank."

"No one cheated," Melena intervened before things escalated. "I swear on my life that no one cheated and that game was fair and now it is over...thank goodness." She pretended to check a watch that wasn't there. "Oh look at the time! Elphaba, why don't you show Fiyero to his room?"

Elphaba rolled her eyes. "He can find his own room."

"...unless you want me to break out the baby pictures."

"We're going." Up instantly, Elphaba took Fiyero's hand and led him out of the room.

When they got to the stairs, Fiyero murmured, "Is there something in the baby pictures I shouldn't see?"

"There are things that I wouldn't want you to tell Avaric and Galinda that's for sure."

Fiyero scoffed. "I don't tell them everything, if that's what you're implying."

With a shrill laugh, Elphaba replied, "I can't believe you're even _trying_ to deny that statement." She crossed the hall and opened the door to Shell's room. (Shell would be marooned on the couch for the duration of the break.) "Your luxury suite." She lingered by the door and Fiyero waited. They both looked like they had a lot to say.

"Your family is really-" Fiyero started.

"Over the top?"

"Really cool," he finished; pushing her hair behind her ears and following the path it made down her back. "I wish my family was half as fun."

"Fun?" Elphaba laughed. That was something she'd never heard before.

Fiyero leaned forward and kissed Elphaba on the cheek. "I can't wait until tomorrow."

"Why?"

"I'm pretty certain there's always something interesting going on around this place." Fiyero gestured around him wildly with a dreamy look on his face. "Like magic."

* * *

><p>Elphaba yawned and stretched her arms above her head. She got up and pulled a sweater over her tank top, not bothering to zip it up. Nessa's and her parents' doors were still closed, so she assumed she was one of the first up.<p>

At the bottom of the stairs she heard gunshots and obscene amounts of swearing, which could only amount to one thing: boys playing video games.

Correct as usual, Elphaba found Shell on the armchair facing the television directly with one of the controllers in his hand and Fiyero sitting on the floor below him, a lot more frustrated with the outcome of the game.

But when he noticed Elphaba he smiled genuinely and gestured to the vacant floor beside him. Elphaba sat down and crossed her legs, conscious of the fact that she had not taken her hair out of the messy braid it now hung on her shoulder in.

Fiyero wrapped an arm around Elphaba's waist and pulled her closer so he could kiss just below her ear. So apparently the day before had opened the gateway to affection. Elphaba would never doubt Melena again. That woman knew her stuff when it came to the opposite gender. It was almost frightening.

As Shell began another game, Elphaba took her chances and laid her head in Fiyero's lap, noticing that he seemed to catch on to the fact that no one bothered changing before breakfast. She didn't say anything because she was still tired, but as far as not being a morning person went, seeing Fiyero's face first thing was changing that drastically.

Melena came down without a word and sunk onto the couch. She grabbed a blanket and wrapped it around herself. Okay, so maybe Fiyero's face first thing wasn't having a great affect on everyone. Nessa followed soon after, cheerful as usual and then Frex carrying the boxes of decorations from the upstairs closet.

"I think we're decorating today," Elphaba muttered to Fiyero, who put down his controller and laid a hand over her hand which was resting on her stomach. His hand was bigger than hers and touched the fabric as well. Her breath caught. There was nothing by a thin tank top between her skin and his. She had never in her life been so close to a guy that wasn't her twerp of a brother.

Melena, having rested for twenty minutes, rose from the couch. "I think I'm going to start breakfast now."

"Aren't you going to wait until daddy comes back with Nanny and Aunt Sophelia?" Nessa asked, glancing back at the closing front door.

"Why would I do that? It would mean cooking for eight instead of five. _No thank you_."

"But then who's going to cook for them?" Shell asked obviously.

"Elphaba, of course," Melena answered happily and skipped off into the kitchen.

"That woman. Always working her hardest," Elphaba muttered; sitting up and leaning against Fiyero's shoulder. Nessa noticed and smiled knowingly at Elphaba, who could have sworn Melena had given her the same exact smile a good forty times the day before. Slightly embarrassed, Elphaba left her spot and peeked into the box of decorations. There was a wreath, a garland and the fake tree they'd been using since Nessa was little and decided that trees shouldn't be cut down because they deserve a happy Lurlinemas too.

It didn't seem like a big job, but in the Thropp family every little thing become huge and argumentative. Melena liked things a certain way that Nessa deplored. Frex wanted this there, but Shell had wanted it over here. And then Nanny came in saying that she'd been doing these things since before their grandparents were conceived so they better listen up.

Elphaba decided to get a head start and hung the wreath on the front door. She took a look outside and saw that even more snow had fallen. It must be up to her knees by now. By the time she got back, everyone was around the table indulging in their breakfast.

They all took their time eating and getting ready, so that they could start the decorating after lunch. To give her mother a break, Elphaba assumed the cooking position, while Melena asked Fiyero questions about the Vinkus.

Eventually when they decided they couldn't stall anymore, they began their work putting on each branch of the tree and arguing about where the branches went. At one point they were terrified it was going to topple over onto the television. Needless to say, Shell was willing to put himself in between the tree and the television in the event of that happening. While Galinda's baby was her phone, Shell's would forever be the television.

Fiyero proved himself capable at compromising and was able to resolve most of the problems. And then halfway through, Frex came home with Nanny and Aunt Sophelia, so they stopped, thankful for the break.

Sophelia sidled up to Nessa and Elphaba and pinched their cheeks. Even though she was three years older than Melena, they were practically identical, other than the little signs of aging that hadn't managed to get their wrinkly hands on Melena yet. "Ah, look at these two! The world hasn't crushed their spirits yet!"

"That's always a nice greeting," Nessa muttered. She loved her aunt, but there were some things that didn't need to be said around Lurlinemas.

Nanny immediately noticed the odd one out and addressed Fiyero indirectly. She looked him up and down approvingly. "And who's this now?"

"Elphaba's boyfriend," Melena said loudly, daring Elphaba or Fiyero to deny it.

"Surely this isn't Elphie's doing," Nanny decided and surveyed Melena with a mixture of pride and suspicion. She'd been around the Thropps too long not to know better.

Fiyero stepped forward and cleared his throat. "I'm Fiyero Tigelaar." He offered a hand, but Nanny pulled him right in for a hug.

And then the old woman winked at Elphaba. "Hold on to this one."

"You've officially been initiated into the family," Nessa told Fiyero. "You have Nanny's approval." Shell nodded his agreement and clapped Fiyero on the back.

So they were able to continue with the decorating until almost everything was hung, and then Melena pulled the mistletoe out of the box. Another idea forming in her head, Melena pushed the decoration into Elphaba's hand knowing that Elphaba wouldn't notice and just hang it somewhere. Sure enough, Elphaba did just as expected and stood vulnerably right under it.

Melena dragged Fiyero beside Elphaba, pretending that she had to get to the box of decorations again. Then floated in the background, waiting for someone to notice.

Thank goodness Nessa had more women's intuition than Elphaba because she exclaimed, "Oh my goodness! Fiyero and Elphaba are under the mistletoe!"

Elphaba flushed, hoping desperately that Nessa was hallucinating, but as she looked up she was proved wrong. She looked at Fiyero helplessly and he smirked slightly. He wasn't embarrassed to kiss her; it wasn't _his_ family watching them expectantly. He leaned forward and took her hands...

But Nanny pushed them out of the way and grabbed Shell. "Come on, Shelly, give Nanny a kiss!" She pointed at her wrinkly cheek and Shell grimaced.

As Elphaba passed Melena she muttered, "Nice try."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Yay! Quotes from my favourite movies! The "thinking of spring wedding, weren't we Creampuff?" line was brought to you by Flushed Away and my rather awesome Kate Winslet marathon. If anyone knew that...well, congratulotions you are now a Melenaianaire.**


	7. Beauty and the Priest

Dinner was quick, as everyone was anxious to escape Nanny and the stories of her various aches and pains. It was one consistent stream of back problems, arthritis and other ruthless results of having spent fifty years raising Thropps. Then they settled in the living room under the glow of the Lurlinemas tree and watched cartoon specials until Melena sent them to bed. Frex forced Shell away and Fiyero followed obediently, not wanting to admit that being constantly pestered by Elphaba's siblings had tired him out. But Nessa made urgent eye contact with Elphaba as Melena, Nanny and Sophelia went into the kitchen and pulled out chairs around the table.

"Elphaba, this is our chance," she whispered.

"Our chance for what?" Elphaba asked, blissfully unaware.

Nessa's eyes lit up with their usual mischievous aptitude. "Every year mom talks to Nanny and Aunt Sophelia at exactly this time. You're old enough to get in on that!"

Elphaba's face fell. "I'm not sure I want to," she said hesitantly.

"But I want you to," Nessa reasoned. "This is for the good of the family." The earnestness in her eyes could have convinced a dog it was a cat.

Still, Elphaba had gained some resistance against Nessa's techniques. "How do you know?"

"Because mom only gets this chance once a year. She needs to divulge her soul."

With a snort, Elphaba turned head off to her bedroom. "What _soul_?"

Cue the disoriented sigh and the puppy dog eyes. "Please, Elphaba?"

"Uh...fine," Elphaba relented. "Go to bed. I hope you realize you are the luckiest girl in the world to have a sister like me."

"You're like my four leaf clover. And _Fiyero's_," Nessa chuckled. She pushed herself away and Elphaba stood before the tree alone. She straightened her shoulders and pushed her hair behind them, trying to look as confident as she should be.

Entering the kitchen without a word, Elphaba seated herself at the far end of the table, but could only manage to balance herself on the edge of the chair with the rigidity her muscles had accumulated since she walked in.

"Look who's finally ready to join the adult table," Sophelia commented, pouring a wine glass for Elphaba. There was a note of pride in her soft, accented voice. Sophelia was definitely sweeter than Melena, but she had grown up in the shelter of Colwen Grounds, unmarried and childless and therefore had not experienced as much as her younger sister. Because of this, Sophelia was much quicker to judge.

Elphaba nodded, pretending to take a sip, but keeping her mouth firmly sealed. All Nessa wanted was a little gossip to gnaw on for the rest of the year, but Elphaba had the feeling she was in for something more than just a snarky rumour.

"Tell me Nanny, do you ever get tired of complaining about your back pain?" Melena asked rudely, reaching for the wine bottle that had foolishly been left in the middle of the table.

Sophelia burst out in a sarcastic laugh. She had no pity for her sister. "You're lucky Nanny favours you, _Princess_."

"Oh, is someone a little cranky because they're nearing fifty?"

Gripping the stem of her wine glass, Sophelia swirled it around once and stared into the purple ripples. "Say that again and I might have half a mind to chuck this at your face."

"I'll still be prettier," Melena giggled unfairly. It was true that she was more attractive, but not because Sophelia was ugly, just because she was rather plain. And Melena knew how to carry herself in a way that would have made a paper bag look trendy.

Nanny, who had never made an effort to hide her favourism, agreed wholeheartedly. "Speaking of which, the lovely little Rose is beginning to look just like her mother."

Used to dealing with Nanny's biased compliments from years of listening to lectures on the beauty and perfection of Melena, Sophelia said, "I noticed that too. Nessa looks more like a sister of yours than I do. The face, the hair, even your voices are similar. The only difference would be...well..."

An awkward silence settled itself around the kitchen, making its way in and out of their lungs as they breathed it in.

"What?" Melena said defensively. "What's the difference?"

"I was just going to say..." Sophelia sighed, regretting her previous words. "That Nessa would probably be taller than you."

The look on Melena's face made Elphaba's heart crumble a bit.

But, Nanny, of course, always came to the rescue. "And Shell is looking just like Frex! Has he developed a taste for religion yet?" She finished with some distaste. Nanny and Frex didn't quite have each other's approval.

"And then there's Elphaba!" Sophelia blurted, trying to cover for her previous slip. The only difference being that she liked Nessarose much more than Elphaba. Of which Elphaba had never blamed her. It only united her aunt with the rest of the universe. "Well, she looks like- she's getting to be quite _pretty._"

Elphaba stared down at the table. She knew she didn't look like either of her parents and therefore, had no resemblance to her siblings, who both were pleasing to the eyes. "Thanks, Aunt Sophelia."

"You know," Melena interrupted, reaching for the bottle again, "soon enough Nessa and Shell will be going off to school and I'll be completely alone."

"Being alone isn't that bad, Mel," her sister stated apathetically.

"Maybe I should have stayed a bitter lonely old hag like my big sister."

By now, Elphaba couldn't help but notice the gusto with which Melena consumed the alcohol. It seemed she was constantly reaching for more. There was some bottomless pit inside of her that couldn't get its fill. And the tone of her voice was worrying too. Melena was sounding downright bratty.

Sophelia flushed crimson and was trying with all of her might to suppress it. "I haven't gotten married because I haven't fallen in love."

"Lucky bitch."

That seemed to mark the breaking point of the conversation. Neither Sophelia or Melena could hold themselves together.

"Well, you know what? Mum and dad had a perfectly fine man picked for you and if you married him you could have still been living with us and your family could have been-"

Nanny cleared her throat and cut Sophelia off, glancing sideways at Elphaba's abnormally colour-drained face.

"And what if I had married that Munchkinlander moron?" Melena shot back. "I might have had money, but I would have lost my mind a hell of a lot faster. Can you imagine I married a man stupider than me? Heaven help the kids."

"Quadlings aren't necessarily reputed for their intelligence either, Melena dear." Nanny's croaky laugh filled the air.

Melena silenced Nanny with one look. "That's different."

"Well, then back to that rich Munchkin..." Nanny's purpose in life was to embarrass Melena. "Maybe his brain wasn't the only thing that wasn't big."

In disbelief, Sophelia shook her head. "Oh, Mel, you didn't."

As if it was the most simplistic notion in the world, Melena shrugged. "I had to take him out for a test run before I considered marrying him."

"So...?" Sophelia raised a defined eyebrow.

"What?"

"Then before you married Frex too...?"

"Of course." At the mention of her husband's name, Melena seemed to be taking more frequent sips. "That was before he started condemning the right to have fun."

Elphaba tried to imagine the arguments Melena would have used to convince Frex of sex outside of marriage. She couldn't even do it. There must have been a world of difference between adolescent Frex and Melena and adult Frex and Melena. Which was oddly hypocritical. Frex and Melena had always been sticklers for sex within marriage. They had endless lists of reasons supporting it. Usually Elphaba, Nessa and Shell just laughed at them. Among the rest of society, the Thropp parents' kids didn't take them seriously.

"Then what happened?" Sophelia asked curiously. This conversation was much more in depth than their usual Lurlinemas prattle.

"We were married."

Sophelia shook her head not getting the full force of the statement.

"Suddenly I was the manipulat_ed_ rather than the manipulat_or_."

"That must have been hard for you." Sophelia smiled sarcastically and glanced beside her at Nanny, who had a grave expression on her face.

Melena didn't seem to care. "I cope," she said simply.

"How?"

"Little rebellions."

Nanny stared at the wall listlessly, no doubt reminiscent. "Oh, to be young again. Sometimes I wish I died young and left a beautiful corpse to wow all the boys. But instead here I am, raising psychos."

"Thank you, Nanny, for those kind words," Sophelia said in a whiny voice.

"Mom, maybe you should stop..." Elphaba said and everyone looked around in surprise. They seemed to have forgotten Elphaba's presence. "Nanny, take it away from her." Never before had she seen anyone take alcohol this far. The most was always when Fiyero, Galinda and Avaric come back from parties a little tipsy. Growing up, Frex and Melena had made parties strictly off limits.

But Nanny didn't move.

"You know, some good things happened this year," Sophelia said suddenly. "Mum and dad are ready to meet Nessa and Shell!"

"They're not getting their wrinkly hands on Nessa or Shell," Melena said automatically. Her speech was slurred and her eyes unfocused as she stared into the tinted glass of the wine bottle. It looked like she thought the longer she stared at it, the more probability it had of turning into what she actually wanted. "Tell them Nessa isn't as easily groomed as they think and that Elphaba isn't a lost cause."

"My goodness," Nanny clucked, "this attitude you're developing."

"Are you okay, Mel?" Sophelia asked, noticing how her sister's had slumped significantly and her hands trembled

"I'm fine."

"No you're not."

Melena looked up as if someone had sent an electric shock through her nerves. "It's so overrated."

"What is?"

"Marriage."

Elphaba jumped and nearly knocked over her full glass.

"I sacrificed everything and got absolutely nothing!" Melena shrieked, violently sloshing her drink around. "I don't think I've aged that much in the year. I'm still a little bit attractive, right? Then why is touching your wife suddenly against religious practice? And why can't I get up in the morning anymore? We must have done something wrong...something that drove each other in opposite directions. We're not even good enough to get peoples' pity anymore! People think...they think we wanted..._a green child_."

The crack that had formed in Elphaba's heart a few conversation starters previous could not withstand that.

"And when people look at Nessa...they know...they _know._" Melena choked on a tearless sob.

Looking around wildly, Elphaba couldn't get answers from Melena, Sophelia or Nanny's expressions. "I don't _know_."

"You don't _remember_?" Nanny asked, her lined face drawn tight. "Maybe I was wrong all along. You were just a dumb baby...well, I'll be damned."

Melena hid her pink face. It might have been out of shame, or to soften the blow.

"Dear old Nanny travelled all the way to the city to get a potion for your mother when she was pregnant for the second time," Sophelia explained in an even tone. "Your parents agreed they couldn't risk having another _you_. Of course they didn't tell you kids that it might have been that that caused Nessa's disability...they couldn't risk alienating the only three things holding them to their marriage. And speaking of parentage, you should know-"

Nanny flicked Sophelia hard enough to force her to stop.

Elphaba's chair scraped against the floor as she pushed it away from the table. "If you'll excuse me, I'm tired," she choked out. Dumping her glass down the drain and leaving it on the counter, she ran out of the room realizing that her mother was probably too drunk to remember she had even been there.

On her way to her room, Elphaba nearly collided with Nessa who was waiting right in her path.

"Well?"

"Nothing," Elphaba lied. "They talked about clothes." She'd die before she told Nessa what she'd just witnessed. But before she locked herself in her room, Elphaba turned and faced her sister, who was still waiting confusedly. She looked into the beautiful intelligence of her sister's eyes and the innocent exaggeration of her expression. "I'm_ so_ sorry, Nessa."

* * *

><p>"I'll go make sure she gets to her room okay," Sophelia offered, watching her sister clutch the railing and steady herself before embarking up the stairs. To someone as intoxicated as Melena it might as well have been a mountain.<p>

Nanny laid a firm hand on Sophelia's shoulder and stopped her. "She'll be fine. She's had twenty years of experience."

Sophelia's eyes widened in horror and for a moment she felt the compulsion to scoop up her sister, stuff her into the car and drive her back to Colwen Grounds where she could outgrow her demons and be herself again. They could go back to the days when they would catch the flu and purposely kiss as many boys as they could, or when they would hide their parents' glasses all over the castle. Melena had been so good that Sophelia was _still _finding outdated frames that her father had worn back in the time of Ozma.

As Sophelia and Nanny cleared up the evidence, Melena moved as fast as she could to her room so nothing could catch up to her. It was still astonishing, how much she would leave behind to get a taste of something different. The house had gone from her sanctuary to her confinement so fast, and her husband from her saving grace to her jailor.

Turning the knob and slipping into the dark bedroom, Melena kept a hold on it and leaned her head back against the wood as she closed the door behind her. Frex's gentle snores resounded like thunder through her aching skull.

It was poisoning her, but she needed it. The thirst deep inside of her could only be quenched by one thing and she was getting too old for hallucinogens. It was the only thing that turned the world off. With alcohol, her critics lost their voices and her parents remembered that they had a second daughter whom they loved. She had access to the other world that had been promised to her so long ago and her family didn't have to hide behind fake smiles. When she had the bottle in her hand she could swallow her anger towards the universe; its falsity and its cruelty.

With a grim smile, Melena changed into her shabby pyjamas, remembering the time when this would have excited her husband. She could see right through him. Frex could be as determined and passionate as Elphaba, and as demanding and righteous as Nessa. And like his kids, he also took Melena for granted. She was Frex's babysitter, Elphaba's counselor, Nessa's chauffeur and Shell's personal chef. It was a lot of responsibility for a woman who had grown up in a castle where servants had brushed her teeth for her. Without her, who would keep Elphaba around her father and who would unite Shell and Nessa against the world? So on top of everything, she was also the extra-strength glue holding them together, when she couldn't even hold herself together.

And it had all happened before Frex and Melena had even hit age thirty. They had been saddled with three sensitive children to protect from the woes of the world, addictions, obsessions and copious amounts of guilt. Melena had always been too young for her age and Frex too old for his. It was like throwing the commands and attitudes of a twenty year old in a pot with the morals and self-assumed responsibilities of a sixty year old.

Melena bunched the covers around her and sat still. Frex rolled onto his other side and faced away from her. He hadn't noticed that her hand lay outstretched, waiting for someone to take it. The cold indifference and futile strain was sometimes too much for them to handle.

"Lie down, Melena, you're tired," Frex mumbled.

"So are you," was the slurred response from his wife as she leaned back against the lumpy pillows and prepared herself for another day that would bring about the next leg of this beautifully tragic cycle she was living.


	8. Mother Knows Best

"PEOPLE! GET UP! PRESENTS ARE UNDER THE TREE! I REPEAT: PRESENTS ARE UNDER THE TREE!"

A chorus of groans sounded through the house as Shell's voice rang out. Not sleeping in on Lurlinemas was an old habit that would die hard.

"THE FOLLOWING CHECKLIST WILL DETERMINE WHO GOT THE MOST PRESENTS: SHELL THROPP. THAT IS ALL. HEAR THAT, NESSA?"

Elphaba forced herself up, knowing that Nessa probably wanted to wake up and count her presents. For a lower-middle class family, Nessa and Shell were spoiled hardcore. Sometimes she wondered if Shell's firm belief in Lurline had to do with Melena's stealth when waking up at four in the morning to place presents under the tree, or the fact that if he pretended to believe then he would get even more presents. Either way, Elphaba was the minority in the house when it came to Lurlinish doubts. "Shut up, Shell," she muttered as she walked by him.

"What's eating you?"

"Your annoying prepubescent voice, brother dearest. It crawls under my skin and nibbles away at my tiny reserve of Lurlinemas spirit."

"Well...you know what? It's Lurlinemas which means your heart is going to grow three sizes today!" Shell shot back, the set of his lips told his sister just how proud he was of his comeback.

"Nice pj's. Did you decide to finally give up the one-pieces?"

Fiyero poked his head out of his room with perfect timing and a perfect toothy grin. "Shell wears footie pyjamas?"

"Jealous?" Shell raised a thick eyebrow at Fiyero.

"Aw, does Shell want a hug?" Fiyero asked patronizingly and leapt at Shell. "Or should I leave that to Nanny?"

Shell huffed and moved on to wake the rest of the house. When he was gone, Fiyero moved towards Elphaba and circled his arms around her waist, risking the beating he was almost sure she might retaliate with. "Where did you disappear to last night?" His smile faded slightly and he looked down at her. "I was waiting for you to tuck me in."

Elphaba didn't answer. She pulled away.

"Galinda couldn't get a hold of you. Did you not check your phone?" The concern in his voice was almost touching, but Elphaba wasn't falling for it.

"So I can't have one day away from her?" Elphaba snapped. "I really don't need to hear about the thousands of presents she got from her momsie and popsicle."

"Well..." Fiyero shrugged and pretended to go on carelessly. "Maybe you could have told her about whatever it is that's bothering you." At her surprised expression he added, "I'm not as stupid as you think."

"Oh, really? Thank goodness, because I was getting worri-"

"Good morning lovebirds!" Melena called from the other side of the hall; stepping out of her room with Frex behind her. Elphaba noticed that even though there were only a few inches between them, it seemed like a mile. "Is everyone up?"

Elphaba watched her mother for a moment, there was no denying the delayed reactions and dark circles underneath her eyes. "Late night, mom?" She couldn't help herself.

"What makes you say that?"

But Elphaba was already gone, she gripped Fiyero's elbow as she passed by and went off the collect Nessa.

"IT'S ABOUT TIME!" Shell yelled as everyone finally made their way to the living room where the presents overflowed from under the tree. Oh, how badly Elphaba wanted to tell them that Lurline was the woman who had been drunk in the kitchen last night and the man who had gone up to bed without saying anything to his wife.

They never talked anymore, Elphaba noticed. There was a reason Melena never left and Frex was always gone. They couldn't be gone together and they couldn't be confined together.

And they couldn't agree on anything. A week had been spent silently arguing on the flavour of Shell's birthday cake last year. And when Nessa was set on getting her first phone, Melena demanded she get a Gooseberry, while Frex swore by ozPhones. Miraculously, Melena had turned Frex's vanilla request into a rich chocolate cake and Frex had come home one day with a state-of-the-art ozPhone for his baby girl.

Snapping out of her thoughts as Shell cried out in joy at his new pile of video games and the wad of cash stuffed into his back pocket, Elphaba blinked a few times and remembered where she was. Even gentle Nessarose was ferocious when it came to unwrapping. Elphaba didn't get presents from Lurline because atheists weren't supposed to, but she did get something from her parents each year. This year they had gotten her a new set of books for the plane ride back to school. It's the thought that counts, but Frex's name was written in Melena's writing. It was her thought that was counting for both of them.

Elphaba and Fiyero exchanged gifts and then volunteered to clean up the remains of the wrapping paper while everyone else filtered out for breakfast, examining the presents they clutched in their hands.

While Elphaba was filling a plastic bag with the shreds, Fiyero grabbed her from behind and pulled her right into his chest. He eased the bag out of her grip and let it fall to the ground. "Look up," he murmured.

Doing as she was told, Elphaba looked up into the leaves of the mistletoe above them.

In a few seconds, Fiyero caught her by surprise and met her lips with his gently and tenderly. He pulled away to gage the reaction and when Elphaba smiled he kissed her more deeply.

"CAN YOU FEEL THE LOVE TO-" Shell's annoying voice sang out behind them and Elphaba whirled around with a murderous glint in her eyes, so he paused the serenade. "I was supposed to tell you to come for breakfast, but I can see you're already eating each other," he declared.

Something like a growl escaped Elphaba, and Shell's eyes widened in terror.

"MOM, ELPHABA'S GOING TO KILL ME!" he screamed, running into the other room.

And so, a few hours later as everyone was getting ready, Melena was compelled to sneak into Elphaba's room to find her daughter on her bed reading the synopsis of one of her books. It didn't take much for Melena to see right through the pensive look on her daughter's face. Elphaba was thinking girly thoughts for the first time and they were confusing her.

She was clearly thinking about her Vinkun dreamboat and where they were at. And where they would be in a few weeks...a few months...a few years. It almost hurt for Melena to interrupt.

"So why are you mad at me?"

Elphaba looked up innocently from underneath her long lashes. "I'm not mad at you."

"But I thought you were going to keep me posted on how things were going with Fiyero!" She sat down beside Elphaba and bounced back and forth excitedly. "I'll admit I was a little concerned with Shell's choice of wording when he said you were devouring each other, but I have reason to believe _something _went on under the mistletoe."

There was no choice but to forgive Melena for being incredibly false without knowing it, but Elphaba felt that Melena should at least be feeling _some_ of the guilt that she deserved. "I'm curious about your motives," Elphaba replied seriously. "Why are you doing all of this?"

Melena bit her lip. "You've always needed a little push in the right direction." She absentmindedly began pulling Elphaba's hair out of its braid and combing her fingers through it. The raven locks had a secret to them. When Elphaba tied her hair up she was working, when it was down Glinda, Nessa or Melena herself had been involved, and when it was braided Elphaba was in the process of deep thought.

"And you would know the right direction?"

Caught off guard, Melena shot back, "What is with this attitude?"

"What_ is_ with the attitude, mom?"

"I'm just going to ignore that," Melena decided. She pulled an eyeliner pencil out of her back pocket. "Now, it's Lurlinemas and I want you to look nice." Shifting onto her knees, Melena began tracing the outline of Elphaba's eyes.

"Do you just keep that in your pocket all of the time?" Elphaba's eyelids fluttered as Melena pressed on them with the makeup. "What's an overpriced pencil crayon going to do for you?"

Exhaling loudly, Melena bit back her mild frustration. "You never know who's going to show up at the door."

"Generally people carry around pepper spray and whistles for cases like that." Elphaba shrugged. "But I guess I can't be one to judge."

Ignoring the way Elphaba had taken her statement and turned the meaning around into the opposite of what she had meant, Melena asked, "And you're not really going to wear that shirt are you?"

"What's wrong with my shirt?" Elphaba looked down at her plain royal blue long sleeve. Compared to the rest of her wardrobe, this was considered bright.

"There's no neckline for one. And for two, it's boring." Melena looked down at her own shirt and slipped it over her head. "Let's switch!"

Elphaba blinked bewilderedly at the cream shirt Melena was waving in front of her face and pulled off her own. They switched and Elphaba got up to inspect herself in the mirror. The shirt was pretty. It was a cream colour, sleeveless and bedazzled around the neckline, which admittedly, was low. (For Melena this was considered modest attire. Hey, it was better than her wearing nothing.)

But Melena seemed to have more planned and pulled a little box out of the same pocket that the eyeliner appeared from. She set it on the dresser and opened it revealing a silver necklace with a butterfly pendant hanging off it.

"My mom gave this to my sister, who gave it to me," Melena explained, as she fastened it around Elphaba's neck. "Now, I'm not encouraging any family traditions, but one day I hope you'll give it to Nessa...I kind of hope she doesn't give it to Shell though. I know for a fact that he would wear it if he could."

Elphaba felt the cold, silver butterfly between two fingers. It was attached to the chain by intricate silver lines that resembled vines when given a closer look. Against Elphaba's skin, it was more defined and bolder than it would have been on anyone else's. "What's this for?"

"I think you're old enough to make your decisions and I think you're clever enough to make the right ones. When your decision making comes to an end, that's when you pass it on. Or at least that's what my sister told me. This just might be a lame game of broken telephone." Melena stood back and regarded her daughter in the mirror. "You really are beautiful, Elphaba."

Turning her head to the side, Elphaba looked at her mother and then looked away. After the previous night's episode, she couldn't believe Melena had the nerve to lie to her face. _No one_ wants a green child. "Everyone knows Nessa's the beauty in the family. It's a good thing you took your potion."

"Pardonez moi?" Melena tucked her hair behind her ear and cupped her hand around it. "I think I heard that wrong."

This was completely new territory for Elphaba. She had never mouthed off to Melena so obviously. "Thank you for the necklace and that cute little speech..." She stopped and tried to force herself to end this before it was too late, but the idea of Nessa being able to live a full life kept her livid. It was so intense that her cheeks flushed a salmon colour. "I'm glad _you're_ the one pushing me in the right direction. You know just where to point people. To the Emerald City, right? _Don't bother asking about side effects, Nanny. I'll take anything a stranger offers me_."

Melena was stunned. She looked like the exhaustion was getting to her and she wouldn't be able to hold herself up. "How...?"

"Hmm, then there's the astounding power of the _love_ you have for dad. I've never been so worried in my life, mom. If these things are coming out now, I don't want to know what other godforsaken secrets you're hiding and I don't want to be around when they're discovered."

The cruelty of the rant washed over Melena and left a nasty sting. "Please explain to me how any of that is of your concern." Parental authority dripped from her voice.

"You're all we have!" Elphaba cried, throwing up her arms in exasperation. "No one else in the universe is willing to take Nessa and I seriously, let alone teach us anything! But you're impulsive and you don't think twice and you hide behind terrible excuses!"

"Sit down, Elphaba." Melena crossed the room over to the door and shut it fully, then pointed to the bed. _"Sit down."_

Elphaba sunk down onto the bed and rested her hands on either side to steady herself. She didn't know what to expect.

"The world isn't going to spare you, Elphaba," Melena said; eyebrows drawn and feet carrying her back and forth between the two opposite walls. "It's going to be ruthless and cruel, especially to you and Nessa. You should be happy I hide it. I want you to grow up without woe and I want you to be happy, so I suggest you listen to me."

This woman who was usually so upbeat and giddy; who was Elphaba's role model supreme, was revealing herself for the living sham she was. And Elphaba wanted to cry.

"Don't you think I know more about people than you do? Be careful who you trust, Elphaba, and you won't have to live with any regrets." Meeting Elphaba's eyes one last time, Melena made her point all too clear and left the room.

Elphaba heard Melena's voice ringing through the hallway. "I guess you were a good enough kid to earn Lurline's favour, baby," she said sweetly.

"Lurline and I are cool," Shell replied. "We've got a little deal worked out where I get unlimited chances in return for her getting the privilege of watching my handsome face all year."

"I hope you won't be too busy to help me make cookies later." Elphaba could tell Melena's bright smile was lighting up Shell's room like a Lurlinemas angel.

If someone with the beauty and opportunity of Melena couldn't be happy, then what hope did someone like Elphaba have? But what about her dreams? Was she supposed to give up on them? And love? She was only now getting her shot at that.

_You're overthinking it, when it's so simple_, Elphaba thought to herself, _just don't make her mistakes._

* * *

><p>Later in the day, around Shell's bedtime, Elphaba lay flat on her bed staring at the ceiling. She had her earphones turned up so loud that she didn't notice Fiyero coming in until he pulled them out of her ears.<p>

"In other news, you're going to tell me what's bothering you," he said softly and put a finger over her lips, "and don't deny it." Elphaba's lack of participation in the dinner discussion had told Fiyero more than words ever could. He knew for a fact that on one of her good days, Elphaba had enormous amounts of trouble shutting up.

Even when caught by surprise, Elphaba was quick. "There isn't anything bothering me."

"Your eyes haven't left Nessa all day." He took her hand and studied it. "We're leaving in two days...if there's something between you two..."

"There isn't a problem between Nessarose and I," Elphaba interrupted.

Fiyero's hands both slid to Elphaba's lower back and he kissed her hungrily. She slipped back and he moved on top of her, guiding Elphaba's lips with his own.

In that moment, Elphaba had about as much coherence as someone who finds themselves in the unfortunate situation of drowning. She panicked, but at the same time, as she sunk deeper she came to terms with everything and a sense of calm overtook her. Eventually they both pulled away, but their arms and legs stayed intertwined. Elphaba looked at Fiyero and felt so at home with his sapphire eyes that she told him exactly what was bothering her and exactly what she had heard the previous night. It was the first time she'd even considered confiding in someone that wasn't Galinda or her mother.


	9. It's Only Just One Night

**A/N: And so I make my triumphant return to the fanfiction world! My apologies, I had my wisdom teeth removed and recovery was an ordeal. Thank you to those of you still interested in this story. It means the absolute universe to me.**

* * *

><p>By some unspoken code, anyone who was anyone or wanted to be anyone was to return to Shiz before New Year's Eve, so they were able to take part in the biggest party of the year. The Shizian New Year's Eve Bash was thrown every year by the most popular students. This year that happened to be Galinda Upland, Avaric Tenmeadows and Fiyero Tigelaar; the official spokespersons for popularity. The expectations were huge, so Fiyero had to go back to Shiz early. Elphaba would accompany him just to get out of Munchkinland.<p>

When they arrived at Shiz, Galinda was already waiting in the dorm shouting urgently into the phone about an imported Gillikinese DJ being way too expensive. Elphaba and Fiyero entered the room and she threw the phone across the room onto her bed. "THERE YOU ARE! GO FIND AVARIC RIGHT NOW! WE THOUGHT YOU DIED OR SOMETHING!" she shouted at Fiyero. "THINGS LIKE THAT HAPPEN WHEN YOU GET INVOLVED WITH THE THROPPS!"

"Thanks, Galinda. I love you too," Elphaba said flatly.

Behind Fiyero and Elphaba another angry voice went off. "GALINDA, WHAT ARE YOU DOING WASTING SO MUCH TIME? MORRIBLE SAID WE CAN'T HAVE THE PARTY HERE! BOOK THE OZDUST!"

Galinda groaned and went for her phone again. Fiyero turned around to calm Avaric down.

"You guys are putting way too much effort into this," Elphaba stated, sliding her bag off her shoulder and onto the ground. "How is one party going to impact our pathetic lives?"

"But that's why you're going to love it so much," Galinda explained giddily, dropping her anxiety in seconds. She had read in a magazine once that green was calming colour, which was a huge bonus of her friendship with Elphaba. "This is the most effort I've ever put into anything that wasn't my hair, my lashes or my toenails!"

Elphaba laughed at the juxtaposed absurdity of her friend's first comment. "I'm not going!"

Three jaws dropped at the same time. "WHAT?"

"ELPHIE, YOU HAVE TO GO!" Galinda cried.

"HOW CAN YOU NOT BE COMING?" Avaric exclaimed. "WHAT _SPECIES_ ARE YOU?"

"Not even if you're coming with me?" Fiyero offered, a mischievous smile playing across his face.

Elphaba was caught by surprise. "In public?"

Fiyero laughed. "Of course! Text me later." He winked and then walked away. Avaric looked around bewilderedly with wide eyes and then Fiyero dragged him off.

"ELPHIE, YOU DIDN'T TELL ME YOU AND FIYERO WERE A _THING_!" Galinda shrieked.

"Because we aren't," Elphaba replied calmly.

"Oh, that was _something_," Galinda shot back, nodding her head so vigorously that her curls were flying all over.

"No, it wasn't."

"But now you have to come to the party!" Galinda reasoned excitedly. Elphaba stayed in place, not answering and Galinda levelled out. "Please, Elphie, everyone here knows you've had the biggest crush on Fiyero and this is your chance! Are you really going to let that go?"

Making a grab for Galinda's phone and missing, Elphaba spat out through gritted teeth, "Alright I'm putting an end to these mother/best friend conversations."

"Elphie, why can't you admit that your mumsie is _right_ about all of this?" Galinda raised one shaped-to-perfection blonde eyebrow.

"Goodness knows the woman flunked out of university, flirts with cashiers and married into a-" Elphaba scrambled for something to change the subject. "Well...hypothetically...if I went...what do I expect?" she asked uncertainly.

"You wear a really cute outfit and you dance a little bit and then expect some action," Galinda advised. "Don't knock it 'till you try it."

"But your psychotic friends are going to be watching my every move."

Galinda tapped her heart twice with a fist and then flashed a peace sign. "Don't worry, Elphie. Galinda's got your back."

So Elphaba found herself wearing the shirt her mom had given her and a pair of extremely short black shorts that Galinda loaned her the next day. Because even if it was winter, apparently everyone wore shorts to parties. And to complete the ensemble, incredibly high heels that Elphaba was sure would permanently damage her feet. Galinda had assaulted her with wands and tubes of gunk that stuck to her face before running off to meet Avaric. That was when Elphaba learned that it was possible to be_ too_ late for being fashionably late. What do you know? You _do_ learn something new every day.

As Elphaba waited for Fiyero, she played with the necklace around her neck. She hadn't taken it off since her mother had given it to her, no matter how unwelcome it felt. She couldn't shake the feeling that something was about to go very wrong for her. Finally, there was a knock at the door and Fiyero stood there (handsome as ever) and offered an arm.

Okay. So maybe they were a thing, as Galinda had put it, but Elphaba didn't know. They had never officially been out in public as more than just friends. And this whole atmosphere said 'just friends,' like there were signs taped to their backs. They walked away breathing in the sickening smell of discomfort and agitated anticipation.

The party ended up having to be held in the Shiz auditorium because the OzDust had been booked. Hopefully Morrible wouldn't hear anything, because she wasn't aware it was happening. Rumour had it that on New Year's Eve she and the professors had a little fun of their own in the staff lounge anyway.

Galinda pushed her way through the crowd, bobbing her head to the music and found Elphaba. "Hey, Elphie. I lost Avaric, but in the dark a lot of these guys look a lot cuter! Are you ready for some action?" She bumped her hip against Elphaba's suggestively.

"That's great, Galinda, but what exactly am I supposed to be doing?"

"Uhm." Galinda smacked her lips and held out her arms sarcastically. "You dance." She scanned the crowd. "Uh oh. Bitch alert. Go get your man back." She nodded towards Fiyero who was conversing with Pfannee. Elphaba groaned and threw her head backwards. Galinda reached up and fixed a curly strand that had fallen astray. She had put time and effort into that hair.

"Okay, I'm going," Elphaba decided. "Then what do I do?"

"You dance." Galinda's eyebrows were drawn tight. "You know, Elphie, sometimes I don't think you listen to me."

Elphaba nodded absentmindedly and marched determinedly towards Fiyero. She smiled menacingly at Pfannee and threw her arms around Fiyero's shoulders.

"Fiyero, when did you begin taking an interest in vegetables?" Pfannee sputtered.

Tilting her head to the side, Elphaba replied, "Pfannee, I think you'll have to go. Fiyero's on a diet. No more junk food for him." She pulled Fiyero away and then turned around and winked at Pfannee. "You have to be cruel to be kind." And with that, Elphaba considered the Thropp women officially redeemed from their charity event loss.

Galinda snickered behind Elphaba. "Good one, Elphie."

"Where did that come from?" Fiyero laughed.

Elphaba copied Galinda's movements, positive that she looked incredibly pathetic, but continued anyway. "I just thought it's time someone put her in her place. And if destiny brought me to this point to do that, well...who am I to argue?"

"Maybe destiny put you here for a different reason...but all the same I found that incredibly attractive." Fiyero watched her for a bit and then held up the plastic cup in his hand. "Do you want some of this? It's really good."

Standing on her tiptoes, Elphaba peered into the cup and wrinkled her nose at the shimmery green liquid. "Is glitter drinkable?"

Fiyero laughed and gestured around him. "Everyone else is drinking it."

Bravely, Elphaba took the cup into her hands and tried the drink. Her eyes widened and she stumbled slightly. "I'm no expert- believe me, but isn't that a little strong to just be passing around?"

Disregarding her comment, Fiyero looked around the room at everyone else. "Can you believe we only have one night left of this year?"

Again, Elphaba took another sip of the drink. She felt a new confidence in herself. The truth being that she was trying to seem composed and in control of herself like everyone else always did, but she appeared to be doing a decent job because Fiyero leant down and kissed her neck hungrily. She tipped her chin up and gripped his shoulders as he worked his way further across her neck. His hands slid down her back and moved her hips back and forth to the beat of the music.

"Do you want to go somewhere more private?" he whispered into her ear, without breaking contact.

Elphaba nodded and took his hands, leading him out of the party. She wasn't sure what had been in that drink, but she was feeling a lot more reckless than she had ten minutes ago.

* * *

><p>For more than a year, Elphaba had thought the Shiz University library had the potential to be the most romantic spot in the entire school. All it needed was a little emptying and light dimming and it was perfect first kiss material.<p>

Elphaba didn't have a first kiss to give away anymore, but she could give away her third or fourth without regret. Reaching for the key above the ledge that she knew was there from her valuable year as a library helper, Elphaba unlocked the door and led Fiyero inside. It was dark and chilly, but still nearly as perfect as she had pictured it.

Fiyero closed the door behind them and pressed Elphaba against it, working his lips against hers and sliding his hands up under her shirt. Elphaba had never felt so wanted, so she let him. Moving his lips down her jawline, Fiyero fiddled with the necklace that Elphaba was wearing and she stiffened.

Ducking under his arms, Elphaba moved onto the table at the other end of the room and waited for him. Fiyero approached her slowly and she locked her legs around his waist and kissed him hungrily. She ran her hands through his hair and then kissed down his neck, surprised at whatever it was that was coming alive inside of her.

Fiyero escaped her grip and raced off into the dark shadow of one of the shelves. Elphaba crept up behind him and surprised him by kissing his shoulder. He spun around and picked her up, pressing her into the shelves. The spines of books dug into her arms and back as he kissed her, but she didn't care. She teased him enough and then ran off.

They continued until they found themselves at the end of the library in the little nook that held all of the comfortable leather chairs and the couch. Elphaba and Fiyero lay across it; Fiyero on his side and Elphaba on her back.

"Sweet Oz," Elphaba breathed, "that was fun."

"Who said it was over?" Fiyero said softly, tipping Elphaba's chin up to kiss her again. The kiss was soft, but lusty at the same time.

Elphaba's eyes widened and she pushed Fiyero away. "I don't think I'm comfortable with this."

Fiyero kissed her neck. "That's fine." But he didn't stop. He whispered into her ear to calm her down, telling her about the Vinkus and promising to take her one day. Something that she wanted desperately to believe. He must have known how much more enticing the west coast was compared to Munchkinland and its radically fake Munchkin population.

"I really think this is a bad idea." Elphaba shook her head, determined to fight the devil on her shoulder. "I can't."

Chuckling, Fiyero pushed Elphaba's shirt up slightly and trailed his fingers along her waist. "Is it because you're scared?"

"No...but isn't sex outside of marriage detrimental? Too many things can go wrong," Elphaba retorted, resorting back to those awfully awkward lectures of youth. "Sex should be saved for love at the very least. Do you love me?"

Fiyero's brow crinkled in surprise and confusion. "Do you actually want me to answer that?"

"But you still want to do this with me?" Elphaba moaned as Fiyero's hands roamed higher and higher.

"Coincidentally yes."

That turned her on at lot more than it should have. Elphaba lifted up her torso so Fiyero could slip her shirt over her head. As he did so, he kissed the outline of her bra and then went for the clasp at the back. It was bad, so bad. She was supposed to be the morally correct representative; she who was the daughter of a minister and the Thropp Third Descending. Elphaba felt the pit in her stomach grow bigger and she caught his hands. "I'm really-"

"It's okay to be scared," Fiyero reassured her and pressed a comforting kiss to her forehead.

"I was going to say excited." Elphaba was experiencing an overpowering sense of lust that she hadn't known she was capable of. It would only be once...and no one was around...but she didn't want to openly admit that she had no idea what to do, so she stayed quiet and let him slip out of his own clothes and remove the remainder of hers.

"I'll be gentle, okay?"

Closing her eyes, Elphaba couldn't ignore the part of her that was awakening and responding so eagerly. It was so wrong and so terrible, but it felt so good. Good enough that she forgot about all of her problems. How her parents would react if they knew about this; the severe disappointment in the lack of self-worth they could see their daughter had for herself.

As the New Year rolled in, Elphaba relinquished herself to Fiyero in the most intimate way possible.

But the joy of the moment was nothing compared to the regret she felt afterwards. Fiyero slipped back into his clothes and readied to make his entrance back into the party, which by the sounds of it was just getting started.

Elphaba was hurt and confused and waited for what was going to happen next. She pulled on the wrinkly remnants of her revealing clothes and clutched her knees to her chest. "I can't believe I just did that." Looking at Fiyero in horror, Elphaba tried to hide the tears that were forming in her eyes. "I'm a terrible person!"

Fiyero laid a hand on her back. "What's wrong? Do you want to talk about it?"

She couldn't help but feel that he was mocking her. "No- I don't..." Elphaba couldn't muster any more words, she felt so ashamed, especially when she thought about the necklace she was wearing around her neck. And on top of it all, her head was still spinning from the drink Fiyero had offered her.

Despite the sinking feeling in her gut, Elphaba forced herself up and ran out of the room barefoot, leaving Galinda's heels in her midst.

* * *

><p>"Galinda, I need your dorm key!" Fiyero yelled over the music.<p>

Galinda looked around in surprise. "Fiyero? Where have you been? You totally missed the countdown!" She noticed the shoes in his hands. "Elphie was wearing those! Where is Elphie?" But she didn't wait for an answer and pulled the room key necklace she wore over her head to hand over to him.

Fiyero located Elphaba and Galinda's dorm room and fit the key into the lock. He pushed open the door and walked in to find Elphaba curled up under her blankets with a book in hand.

"What do you want?" she demanded.

"You told me you were okay with it," Fiyero blurted. "Now I feel like an asshole."

"Good."

"Can you not be immature about this for a second?" he said harshly.

"You played me! You lied to me and tricked me into thinking..." Elphaba sat up straight and faced him directly. "Let's just forget about it, okay? Go back to your party."

"But then how am I supposed to make it up to you?"

"You don't, you just go."

Fiyero stepped forward and Elphaba slid backwards. In defeat, he held up the heels he had brought down from the library. "You forgot these."

"They're Galinda's," Elphaba said shortly.

Dropping the shoes by Galinda's side of the room, Fiyero lingered by the door with no idea of what to do. He had no experience with a girl acting this way. "Well, I should go now." He turned to leave and then turned back. "Which way to the-"

"Down the hall, take a left when you see the staircase and a right when you get to the statue of Ozma Tippetarius." With that, Elphaba got up and crossed the room to the bathroom, slamming the door behind her as she nurtured the incessant pounding of her head and her heart. With any luck she wouldn't remember any of this the next day.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Don't you just love it when you know a character is going to redeem themselves later on in a story?**


	10. Reputation in Pieces

On the first day of classes after the break, Milla and Pfannee watched Elphaba break out of the crowd and detour into the restroom. They shared a look and then followed her in. Standing in front of the mirror they pulled out their knockoff lip gloss and leaned forward to reapply on lips that didn't need it.

Milla tossed her hair and spoke unnaturally loud. "Hey Pfannee, do you know when Melena Thropp dropped out of university?" She could practically feel Elphaba cringing. And it was a beautiful feeling.

"No. When?" Pfannee asked stupidly, looking genuinely curious. On the brightside, the clumps of mascara on her lashes suited the look of pure idiocy.

Giggling madly, Milla replied, "When there were no more guys to screw."

Pfannee finally caught onto the game and continued, "That's right! My mum told me that along with being the Thropp Second Descending, she was also the reigning blow queen of Shiz."

"So when's the inheritor of the title going to drop out?"

"Who can say? She's one step closer than she was before though," Milla said cruelly. "I've got to hand it to her. She's starting _way_ out of her league."

Pfannee laughed. "You know what I just realized? Elphaba probably has like thirty siblings she doesn't know about."

"Maybe one of them wasn't born a screw up."

"Like mother; like daughter."

Milla and Pfannee skipped out of the restroom, knowing that in the last stall on the end a green tinged girl was close to tears.

"WHO DID YOU TELL?" Elphaba demanded a few hours later at the end of history class, when everyone but Fiyero had left. She had made sure to corner him.

He looked up from his phone in surprise. "So you're talking to me now?"

"ANSWER MY QUESTION!"

"I didn't tell anyone," Fiyero said flatly.

"I've been getting looks all day and no one's talking to me- not even Galinda! No one's treating _you_ like this! You're the hero of Shiz for throwing that party, which by the way, you didn't even have a hand in planning because you were too busy eating my family's food and kissing up to my nanny and my parents!" Elphaba blurted angrily. She hadn't said a word to anyone all day and it felt good to finally take out her anger on someone. "WHO DID YOU TELL?"

"Omigod! I told you! I didn't tell-"

Elphaba glared at him.

"I didn't tell anyone...except Galinda...and maybe Avaric."

Groaning, Elphaba stomped out of the room even more angry and isolated than she had entered.

* * *

><p>Galinda entered the dorm and sat on her bed uncomfortably. She wanted to say something really badly, but she didn't know what she could. "Elphie..."<p>

"Don't even start, Galinda."

"They're saying really bad things about you," Galinda said timidly; offended by Elphaba's tone. She hoped Elphaba would understand how difficult a position she was in; like having to choose between the new fall line at her all time favourite store or a blow out sale at her favourite store of the month.

"_Your friends_ are saying really bad things about me and my whole family," Elphaba said harshly. It sounded like she was blaming Galinda, even though she wasn't.

"You know it's not true, so it doesn't matter. Besides Elphie, I'm not going to drop them if that's what you mean by that. They were my friends before you were," Galinda pointed out truthfully, playing with the frilly edge of her quilt.

"I don't care, Galinda, I really don't."

In one fluid movement, Galinda jumped up. "But you do! Give me_ some_ credit! I can at least tell when you're upset!"

Elphaba pulled at her hair and decided to drop the barrier. "Was your first time this humiliating?"

Galinda bit her lip and said nervously, "I haven't had a first time...don't get me wrong, I've gone far with a lot of guys...but never...you know...that far. Neither has Pfannee...or Shenshen...or Milla."

"So you're saying I'm a slut."

"No!" Galinda cried. "Don't put words in my mouth!" She took a deep breath. "I'm just saying that Fiyero is a huge player and I thought you knew that."

Elphaba was yanking at her hair full force now. "But I believed him. The things he told me, I believed them."

An idea hit Glinda so fast that she felt she had been hit by lightning. It wasn't every day she experienced this. "You should call your mom, Elphie. She'll give you good advice. She's like..._my idol_." Galinda bounced up and busied herself with curling her curls, a timekiller she was particularly fond of.

Meanwhile on the other side of the building, Avaric picked at the desk in his dorm with a carving knife. "How long do you think it'll take me to cut this thing in half?"

Fiyero ignored him and continued pacing the length of the room. It was a difficult process considering all of the junk they hadn't bothered to pick up. Imagine a guy's year supply of food containers, laundry and unfinished homework. Then double it.

"Dude!" Avaric threw a pillow at the back of his friend's head.

Throwing up his hands, Fiyero exclaimed, "What?"

"Are you going to answer me or are you too busy thinking about who your next project is going to be?" he teased, wiggling his reddish eyebrows in tune with his pale hands. For a moment, Fiyero couldn't believe_ this_ was his closest friend.

"Do you think I did it too fast?" Fiyero mused.

Avaric crossed his legs and folded his hands in his lap, aiming to give off a professional air. "Tell me all about your problems, sir. I'll have to warn you though. Considering that you're a prince and I'm running low on food money, it'll cost a little extra. I paid Boq way too much to write that exam for me."

But the entire speech was lost on the profusely bewildered Vinkun. "You know how it works. Meet the girl, girl falls in love, kiss up to her and then be kissed up to. Then you both forget about it forever and no one cares."

Nodding, Avaric said, "Works every time."

Fiyero spun around on his heel. "But what if it didn't work this time?"

"You mean there is a girl at this school who is _DIFFERENT_?" Avaric laughed and laughed and laughed. "Have you considered a career as a comedian, Princey?"

For a moment, Fiyero was lost. He was thinking about the endearing way Nanny had called him that. "But...what if I know she's not forgetting about it and it's bothering me so I can't forget about it?"

"You have feelings for Elphie?" Avaric asked incredulously.

"Feeling?" Fiyero threw a confused look at Avaric. "What's a feeling?"

"And whereabouts is this feeling?" Avaric laughed. "In your nonexistent brain...your heart..._your pants_?" Shoving Avaric off his chair, Fiyero tackled him to the ground, but Avaric leapt back up and caught Fiyero in a headlock. He ruffled Fiyero's hair. "If you want to take this bromance to the next level, you better call me first. I don't want to have to send you to the Philosophy Club with the Thropps."

Relinquishing Avaric, Fiyero jumped back as if the temperature of his friend had just risen hundred of degrees. "What?"

"So get this," Avaric said excitedly, "according to Pfannee, Elphie's mom is a bigger whore than Elphie. What do you think I'd have to do to get my hands on that? I'm not above taking a trip to the land of the Lollipop Guild. I've already filled out my application form. You've seen her. Is she hot?" Then Avaric's jaw dropped. "YOU ASSHOLE, YOU WERE IN THE SAME HOUSE AS A MILF AND YOU WENT FOR _ELPHIE_?"

"But neither of them are whores!" Fiyero argued, hung up on the first part of Avaric's speech and determined not to acknowledge the second part for the good of his sanity.

Avaric shrugged. "Just go along with it."

"That's not right." Fiyero shook his head. "We're bigger whores than Elphie is."

"Speak for yourself," Avaric sniffed.

"There are other girls who have lost their virginity," Fiyero pointed out, feeling worse by the second.

"Yeah, but none of them were_ green_." Avaric laughed arrogantly and punched Fiyero's shoulder. "If you ask me Pfannee, Milla and the girly gang are genius for coming up with this. They've never been more popular and this is all on you, you sick bastard."

* * *

><p>Elphaba walked through the corridor, keenly aware of every look she was getting. At the head of the crowd was (of course) Pfannee, who seemed to have taken the lead on this campaign against Elphaba, and her partners in crime.<p>

"Hey, Elphie," she drawled, "we were just talking about your sister."

Tensing instantly, Elphaba prepared herself for what was to come. If they were going to drag Nessa into this now, something had to be done. And Elphaba definitely wasn't above biting and hair pulling when it came to her sister's honour.

Shenshen continued, "Galinda tells us she's starting university soon. When do we get to meet her?"

"You're not going to meet her ever, I'll make sure of it personally," Elphaba retorted, noticing Galinda trying to stand behind Pfannee to avoid meeting Elphaba's eyes.

"Is she the cripple?" Milla asked Shenshen.

"Yeah, such a shame. She's a beaut," Shenshen replied, locking eyes with Elphaba challengingly the whole time. "God knows what Mommy Thropp smoked when she was pregnant with her. She obviously didn't learn from her first time. God, how _stupid_ is she?"

"Why don't you leave my family out of this?" Elphaba demanded. "_I'm _the one who slept with Fiyero." The crowd gasped and Elphaba whirled around. "As if you idiots didn't know that! _Someone _decided to tell everyone!"

"It's true." Milla smiled deviously, seizing her chance. "Galinda was a perfect insider."

"I swear it wasn't me!" Galinda cried, stepping forward. But the damage was already done.

Pfannee stepped in front of Elphaba and blocked the blonde's view of her friend. She placed a consoling hand on Galinda's shoulder. "Galinda, honey, it's okay. You don't want to hang out with people like that anyway."

"I don't see you tormenting Fiyero," Elphaba pointed out angrily. "It was _once_!"

"But if it wasn't that big a deal why did you do it?" Pfannee asked. "Were you _in love_ with him?"

"I bet she still is. No one's ever given her that kind of attention," Milla finished. "Look at that, our next three Eminences are attention whores! Which one do you think is the worst? The sister?"

"Why don't you just shut the f-" Elphaba was ready to attack them, but she was so rudely interrupted.

"ELPHABA THROPP, SEE ME IN MY OFFICE!"

Pfannee, Milla and Shenshen giggled furiously and Galinda pushed past them. "Wait, Elphie I'll come with you!"

"Don't waste your time," Elphaba said flatly and started off towards Morrible's office.

"I would have never expected such irrational behaviour from one of my most promising students!" Morrible exclaimed with false surprise as she plopped her ginormous backside into her office chair.

"Do you mean Fiyero, Avaric, Galinda, Milla, Pfannee or Shenshen?" Elphaba shot back. On any other day she would have been terrified of Morrible, but today the horrible headshiztress didn't seem so intimidating.

Morrible's mouth hung open. "Excuse me?"

Elphaba's voice was even and businesslike. She even folded her hands in front of her. "Surely you're going to speak to them as well."

"Miss Thropp, it seems to be _you_ who is the centre of all of this commotion."

"Tell me something I don't know, Madame," Elphaba muttered irritably.

"Shiz University prides itself in being the best of the best. Above all of this ridiculous scandal. We only take the best of students with the brightest of futures. But things like this...are very questionable." Morrible folded her hands together and rested her elbows on the desk, leaning forward expectantly. "It has been brought to my attention that you don't even have a future in mind. Your time is running out. Do you want to become a graduate housewife Miss Thropp?"

"That depends," Elphaba reasoned. "Can I be excused of the negligent husband and bratty kids and just take the alcoholic part?"

If Morrible understood the meaning behind the statement, she pretended not to. "And I understand your sister will be submitting an application shortly. Do you want her to know about all of this?"

Elphaba shook her head a few times.

"I'd like you to stay focused on your studies, Miss Thropp. You have prime examples in your own family of what happens to people who haven't."

Gritting her teeth, Elphaba hissed, "Excuse me Madame, but how come my mother's mistakes are automatically mine?"

"Not at all, my dear," Morrible replied curtly. "I'm merely saying that your mother demonstrated exemplary promise in the art of what Mister Tenmeadows likes to refer to as: partying hard, and well, our family defines much of who we are."

* * *

><p>"Ahoy hoy!"<p>

"Shell, put mom on the line," Elphaba commanded through her cellphone.

A brief pause and a few yells back and forth between Nessa and Shell, then, "Mrs. Thropp seems to be out at the moment. Can I take a message?"

The other line clicked and Nessa's voice sounded, "Shell get off the line. I need to talk to Elphaba."

"Anything you can say in front of Elphaba, you can say in front of me," Shell retorted.

"Elphaba, I got my period today-" Nessa started.

"I'm gone." The line clicked.

Nessa laughed. "He makes it so easy."

"Nessa, now really isn't a good time for me," Elphaba said tiredly. She was more emotionally exhausted than physically.

"I wanted to tell you that I'm submitting my university application tomorrow. Do you think I should use the pink or the blue paperclip?"

Elphaba clutched the phone tightly. "Nessa, I need you to change it."

Nessa gasped. "Why?"

"Change it to Munchkinland U. You'll prefer it there, trust me on this one."

"But I want to be with you," Nessa confessed, it was rare for her to be so desperate to be close to Elphaba. Or at least for her to admit it out loud. "I'm really nervous."

"Oz knows how much longer I'll last here," Elphaba breathed. She officially hated everything about this place. The head, the people, the surroundings...herself. And to think that this had been her dream.

"What do you mean? Is everything alright?"

"Tell mom I called. Please and thank you." Elphaba hung up before she questioned further. She curled up in a ball on her bed and pretended to be asleep as Galinda came in for the night. It was exactly like Melena had said: having friends and losing them was a lot worse than never having them.


	11. Parenting 101

**A/N: Alright, everyone! I am finally ready to finish redeeming Mama Thropp! Anyone need a refresher? I know I do. So here it is: Mel's got a serious alcohol problem, Frex and Mel are furiously denying that their flawless marriage is flawful, Elphie's slowly realizing what the real world is like after spending a humiliating night with Fiyero akin to the Mel-Wizardic relationship and is now being preyed upon by the bloodsucking leeches that inhabit the dorms and classrooms of Shiz U, and Nessa and Shell are adorable.**

* * *

><p>The next morning, bright and early, Elphaba's phone buzzed and sure enough it was her mother's name flashing across the screen. Elphaba hopped out of bed and closed the door of the bathroom behind her so Galinda would have a harder time eavesdropping.<p>

"Hi baby!"

"Mom, I need to talk to you."

"Oh me first!" Melena exclaimed. "When I gave you that shirt, I meant for you to give it back-"

"Mom, I slept with Fiyero."

Melena fell deathly silent. Shirt forgotten. "When's the wedding?"

Elphaba was on the verge of a breakdown. She didn't have the patience for this. "Please, be serious about this."

"I am being serious about this." Melena was telling the truth and Elphaba had never heard her so rigid, so she stayed quiet. "What is the one thing I've tried to teach you since you were born?"

"Stick it to the man?" was the feeble reply.

"I told you if you waited until marriage, you'd have nothing to regret and you wouldn't miss out." Melena clenched her teeth. "Do you realize how crappy you feel when you're the one deflowering your husband on your wedding night?"

"And what if marriage isn't an option?" Elphaba demanded quietly.

"How can it not be an option?"

"I don't have people lining down the block to propose to me like you did! I don't have the _option_ of taking it for granted."

"So you wait for someone special!" Melena finished and then felt as if she had fallen short. "Look, honey, I'm not a very sentimental woman, but there are some things that have to be special."

"Oh, okay," Elphaba said sarcastically, "but it's perfectly fine to send me to parties in skanky outfits and tell me to put out to every guy. But of course you would know. According to Nanny and Aunt Sophelia you've screwed half the population."

"Wouldn't that give me a better opinion on the matter then?" Melena's voice was colder than the ice age. "A little flirting is harmless. You don't end up-" she gasped. "ARE YOU PREGNANT?"

"No!" Elphaba exclaimed.

"Those tests are faulty," Melena stated. "Don't believe them. I- I mean, _people_ have made that mistake more than once."

"I'm NOT pregnant!" Elphaba said loudly and heard Galinda stir in the main room.

Melena sighed on the other side of the phone. "I was just trying to help."

"I'm not you."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Melena demanded angrily.

"I'm not_ that_ girl." Elphaba stopped. "You know what? It was a mistake calling you. Sorry for the disturbance."

"Elphaba-"

Elphaba wrenched the phone away from her ear and hung up. Everyone was telling her not to make her mother's mistakes, but her mother was trying to live through her. It seemed everyone got a kick out of pushing Elphaba around and it wasn't okay anymore. She was sick of it.

Meanwhile, Melena slammed the phone into the receiver and sunk into one of the kitchen chairs. She was blaming this all on herself. This had been her failure as a mother. There was some key information she hadn't given Elphaba to warn her...oh yeah...it was the truth. And it cost her Fiyero's company and whatever sense of belonging she had created for herself at school. Elphaba wouldn't be the first Thropp to be ostracized the first chance people got an excuse to do so.

"What's the dealio?" Shell asked hesitantly from the doorway. He had been eavesdropping again. While everyone in his family stood out, Shell had made the most of being born normal and slipped into shadows. _What a clever kid_, Melena thought, _if only the rest of us fools could be like that._

Sighing, she answered harshly, "Your sister irks me."

Shell waved his hand. "That's alright," he said reassuringly. "Nessa irks me too."

* * *

><p>"Elphie, do you know anything about the seminar?" Galinda asked quietly from across the dorm. She wasn't sure if she should dress up or go sophisticatedly casual.<p>

Hold on. Galinda was talking to her? Elphaba rubbed her eyes as she pushed herself upward. She found it harder and harder to rouse herself every morning. "I have no idea."

"Pfannee said it was her idea," Galinda offered.

"Oh no," Elphaba breathed. "Then it's bound to be about me."

Galinda stammered. "Well...it applies to all of us." She pushed the covers to the edge of the bed and slid her feet onto the floor so she could claim the bathroom first. "Who knows? It might be...what's the word?"

"Enlightening?"

Eyes lit up, Galinda nodded vigorously. "Will you sit with me?"

Elphaba shook her head. "I wouldn't want to rain all over your reputation."

Galinda crossed her arms. "Stop feeling sorry for yourself, Elphie. I was offering nicely." She stomped out of the room and Elphaba reached over to her nighttable to check the time on her phone and her messages. None. As usual. She used to think Galinda's good morning texts from right beside her were annoying. Now she would pay just to get one.

* * *

><p>Being fashionably late was an art that only a few had down to a science. There were the "dweebs" who arrived early to everything: Elphaba...Crope...Tibbett, who by the way, wouldn't even look at her anymore. Then there were the popular kids who weren't quite there yet. Pfannee, Shenshen, Milla. And finally there were the ones who had it and would never lose it. No matter where they were and what time it was Galinda, Avaric and Fiyero always arrived fifteen minutes late.<p>

The question on everyone's minds was always: did they try or were they just_ that_ natural?

Elphaba had grown up surrounded by the naturals in her family, but she wasn't natural at anything. There were no expectations for her. Most people she met said that their parents wanted them to be a teacher, a doctor, a lawyer or a politician. Frex had wanted Elphaba to focus on politics, but Melena forbade it. So there was science. Elphaba could be a scientist. Or history. Some kind of writer. But those things didn't fit. And now with no friends, Elphaba was forced to think about them on her own. It wasn't like Princess Melena; housewife extraordinaire or Minister Frex; the Prodigal Son, knew anything about career paths.

All of the chairs had been returned to the auditorium and Morrible called all second years to attend a seminar. Elphaba tucked a pencil through her bun and leant back in her chair. At the front of the room, Morrible was lecturing about the importance of punctuality. But when she cleared her throat loudly every student knew it was shut up or become the hearty victim of another lecture.

"As headshiztress, it is my duty to prepare you for certain situations you may have to face in the upcoming future, especially considering the impulsive behaviour that's been spreading like a disease around this school. It was brought to my attention to hold a demonstration seminar, which I'm sure all of you will benefit from."

Avaric raised his hand.

"Tenmeadows, I'm not taking questions, this isn't kindergarten."

Avaric's hand dropped.

"Now. I'll get straight to the point. Welcome, Shizians to Parenting 101!"

Elphaba groaned loudly and everyone turned around to look. She avoided their eyes, pretending it hadn't been her who made the noise.

"Can I have two volunteers?" Morrible looked around the room nonchalantly. "Ah, Miss Thropp! Come on down." She beckoned with her chubby hand.

Not one pair of eyes left Elphaba as she walked the walk of shame up to the stage.

"And one more?" Morrible called.

"How about Fiyero?" someone called.

Fiyero startled at the sound of his name and Avaric pushed him up towards the stage. There was no walk of shame for him; he was sitting right at the front, but people patted him on the back anyway. Once he had joined Elphie onstage he asked, "Do you know what this is about?"

Elphaba angled her body away from him.

"Cold shoulder, I see."

Morrible stooped over a full sports bag and pulled a little figure out of it. When she turned around she was holding a plastic baby doll.

Elphaba rubbed her forehead despairingly.

Pointing at the doll, Fiyero looked at it as if it were something he'd never seen in his life. "What is that for?"

"You tell me. You're the parents," Morrible answered, handing the doll to Fiyero. The entire audience laughed.

Holding it at arm's length, Fiyero cocked his head sideways, trying to gage the makeup of the scary baby in his hands. "This can't be my baby. Something went wrong when they made this thing."

"Yeah! I guess you were pretty drunk when you made it," a particularly talkative member of the crowd shouted.

"Ahaha," Elphaba shouted back sarcastically. "Where would we be without your wonderful sense of humour?"

Suddenly the hunk of ugly plastic in Fiyero's wailed and he jumped back, throwing it to Elphaba in the process.

Elphaba caught it by the head before it hit the ground and held it out to Fiyero, who pushed it towards her. But Elphaba refused to take it and in the process accidentally dropped the baby, which cried louder as it collided with the ground.

"It's like watching the Thropp family!" someone laughed cruelly.

"Now we see just how well they take care of their kids!"

Fiyero shifted uncomfortably and picked up the baby so no one would see the irritated look on his face. On the other hand, Elphaba was steaming, but no one could see that she was about to go off except Galinda who was hunched in on herself amidst her peers.

Swiftly leaving her spot, Galinda grabbed Avaric by the wrist from the front row and pulled him onto the stage with her. "Madame, we'd like a baby too!"

It was amazing how quickly the audience ended their fun and watched Avaric and Galinda cradle their own baby. Suddenly, everyone was up and forming pairs, ready to get a baby. Elphaba shoved the baby into Fiyero's arms and returned to her seat.

Once everyone was seated again, Morrible explained the full assignment. Each pair was to care for the baby for a week, ensuring its proper care. If not, the baby had some creepy way of knowing and so would Morrible. Most of the students were convinced there was a camera hidden inside. Crope and Tibbett were already unscrewing their baby to confirm it.

Then the parents were supposed to work on a report at the end of the assignment, outlining what parenthood required and what it taught them. Morrible finished by assuring the students that any couple that didn't complete the assignment would lose their social life for good.

"Knock, knock." Fiyero walked right into Galinda's dorm comfortably. "Give me a place to sit, I'm with child." He pushed Elphaba's books off the bed and sat beside her. Galinda was on her bed playing with her baby's feet.

"They're kind of cute," she stated. "If you look really, really, really hard." Galinda narrowed her eyes to slits and tilted her head as far as it could go. Then she picked up her baby and kissed its forehead. "WHO'S MY LITTLE BOY? WHO'S MY LITTLE BOY? YOU ARE!"

"How do you know yours is a boy?" Fiyero asked, watching Galinda.

"He had an accident all over daddy when we were changing his diaper," Galinda answered easily, fiddling with the baby's hands and not bothering to look up. Speaking of which, Elphaba still hadn't looked up from her books.

"Oz to Elphie," Fiyero said slowly. No response. He waved a hand repeatedly, inches from her face. "INTERRUPTION. INTERRUPTION. INTERRUPTION."

Elphaba reached for the baby which had been discarded at the end of her bed and forced it into Fiyero's hands. "You take it today until Wednesday and I'll pick it up on Wednesday night and keep it until this is over."

"But this is such a good opportunity!" Fiyero argued. Avaric had hinted that this was his only chance to make it up to Elphaba, something he'd been trying to do, but never had the chance to. It wasn't until now that he realized he was never alone with Elphaba. This wasn't really something he was willing to do in public.

"It is a good opportunity," Elphaba said sarcastically, "...for everyone to humiliate me."

"We're supposed to do it together."

"I'll do the whole report if you just leave me alone." She continued writing out math equations.

Fiyero laid the baby over Elphaba's textbook, covering her work. "I want to do it with you." He didn't notice Galinda watching intently from the other side of the room. "Come by my dorm later." Hesitating before he moved, Fiyero wasn't sure what to do. He wasn't sure what he was allowed to do. Elphaba didn't seem so open to affection anymore. So he squeezed her shoulder uneasily and then waved to Galinda before leaving.

Later as Elphaba walked down the hall with Galinda, she wasn't sure what possessed her to listen to Fiyero. She purposely strayed a few steps behind the blonde, so as to avoid any conversation. Losing Galinda's respect had been the second worst part of this whole mess. The worst was losing Melena's.

"Look Fiyero, we have guests," Avaric said from inside the doorway. "Better clean up." He cleared pizza boxes and discarded clothes off the chairs and gestured towards them. "Have a seat, my friends."

Fiyero seated himself beside Elphaba. She was surprised that he had enough confidence in Galinda and Avaric to be seen with her in front of them, but they were too busy fawning over their baby anyway.

"What did you think of the history lecture today?" Fiyero asked, trying to get a conversation going.

"Profoundly boring." Even if she had thought it was riveting.

"That's nice." Fiyero laughed. "Did you see when Avaric threw the paper air-"

"Yeah."

"Would you like to hold your baby?"

Elphaba shook her head, as Galinda's baby began to screech. Apparently the babies could get frustrated with too much love, as well as none at all.

"Our baby's going to take its first steps soon and you're not going to be there," Fiyero complained. "I wish you would make more of an effort in this relationship."

"What relationship?" Elphaba shot back.

"Ouch."

Elphaba crossed her legs, uncrossed them and tapped her heel against the couch impatiently.

"So...how's being a parent working out for you?"

"I wouldn't know. I'm not a parent." Elphaba looked at Fiyero for the first time all day. "Oh don't look at me like that. As if I'd ever parent with you. People already pity that piece of plastic for having me as a mother." For good measure, she pushed the baby further away from her. "Someone should do the kid a favour and drown it before it's too late."


	12. Like Mother, Like Plastic Baby

Although Elphaba left quickly, Fiyero didn't give up. He kept showing up at Elphaba's room and they traded the baby off halfway through. It wasn't until science class on Thursday that he decided it was time for some kind of breakthrough. He walked in ten minutes late and sat right beside Elphaba and the baby. Grabbing the baby, he bounced it up and down in his lap. "We still haven't named this thing."

"What a shame."

"We could name it after Nessa or Shell." He was demonstrating that he remembered everything about her family. Sometimes the level of his smoothness shocked even him.

"I'd rather not."

Fiyero scowled, fully aware that everyone was watching them. "You don't make a very good parent and to think you've had such good role models."

"I agree with the sarcasm there."

"I wasn't being sarcastic!" Fiyero argued.

"It's okay. I won't care if the kid dates. Its social life is already fucked...whether literally or not." Elphaba laughed. "Like mother; like daughter; like plastic baby, as Pfannee would say."

"I couldn't help but notice you were able to rip on me, you, your mom and every person in this school all at once." Fiyero inhaled loudly and tried to calm himself down before the frustration showed through. "You have some talent."

"I've had lots of practice."

Fiyero looked down at the baby in his lap. "If I keep holding him he's going to like me better."

"Not complaining."

They lapsed into silence. Fiyero debated bringing a list of ice breakers to their next conversation, but they weren't needed as the teacher called them for group work. Fiyero walked off to his usual group and Elphaba went off in the opposite direction in search of someone who would take her. In the process, they left their baby unattended. Huge mistake.

Group work at Shiz was the same in any other school. No one did anything. Granted, they were supposed to be the most prestigious students in Oz, but everyone needed a break. Not even Elphaba did the work. She tapped her pencil against the desk in a disjointed rhythm. Then on the other side of the class, Avaric started an intense game of hangman that Galinda wouldn't be able to decipher before the end of class. There was always an argument about cheating if she did.

When the bell rang everyone lingered. Fiyero had left his messenger bag by the desk he had been sitting at previously where the baby was. His jaw dropped.

"ALRIGHT," he shouted, but it was clear he was joking and fighting back laughter. "WHO VANDALIZED MY BABY?"

Elphaba pushed through the circle of spectators around the desk where the baby sat and sighed. "REALLY PEOPLE? COULD YOU BE ANY MORE IMMATURE?"

Some genius had coloured their baby green.

"You're not proud, Elphie?" Milla chimed. "I guess now you know how your mother felt. Maybe she can teach you how to stop frowning like that. Wouldn't want to wrinkle your flawless skin." People began filtering out, not bothering to mask their laughter.

Avaric, he who was supposed to be Fiyero's closest pal, patted Fiyero on the back as he passed. "Congrats, bro."

Elphaba shouldered her bag and headed out. It was miraculous that people could not only poison her thoughts, but make her physically ill.

"Wait, Elphie!" Fiyero called helplessly.

She whirled around, hands on hips. "Have fun giving baby a bath."

"I can't walk out of here with this thing!" He couldn't even go near it. "People are going to say something!"

Elphaba rolled her eyes. "Fine." She picked up the baby by the head and carried it out like a heavy weight. "Such a good father," she muttered.

A few days later the babies and reports were handed in. Fiyero took Elphaba up on the offer to right the report alone and texted her once to confirm it. Elphaba managed to force out a two and a half page load of garbage about how fulfilling parenting was.

It was nearly June and Elphaba was ready to leave, but not ready to go home. The last few months had been on constant repeat, even though they happened to be the longest, most brutal months of her life. The maximum Galinda ever said to her was "good morning" and "goodnight," but her friends decided they weren't done ruining Elphaba's life until the very last day.

So it passed. Class, dinner, homework, sleep, class, dinner, homework, sleep, until exams were done and Elphaba was packing. Thank goodness there was no one to fly home with. Loneliness among people she didn't know was welcome. The plane ride was the most peace she had had in a long time. Earbuds in; book open. It was wonderful.

And then she stepped off the plane and was hit with a wave of new problems. Melena had sent Frex to pick Elphaba up, which meant she was still mad, and all the way home Frex pestered Elphaba about making decisions.

She stepped into the house and another wave hit her. Nessa was ready for an interrogation: why did you want me to change my application? Why did you sound so upset? Is Fiyero coming to visit?

Elphaba ran straight to her room and cried into her pillow. Exactly a year ago Melena was up here telling Elphaba how proud she was. She fell asleep and skipped dinner that night.

And the next morning was not much different. Melena pointed out the cereal in the cupboard that Elphaba could have for breakfast and left the room. But Elphaba wasn't sure what it was bothering her mother. The fact that Elphaba had completely disregarded everything she had been taught or the way Elphaba had defended herself over the phone by shifting the blame?

While Elphaba was consumed in her thoughts and her cereal, Nessa made her way into the kitchen quietly and took her spot at the table. She wasn't as naive as everyone believed her to be. She could feel the taut ties between her parents and her sister. "Elphaba, you didn't answer any of my questions yesterday."

"About that..."

"It's okay," Nessa reassured. Her intention hadn't been to delve into Elphaba's personal life. "But there's one really important one I need to ask." Elphaba nodded. "It's about a boy-"

Nearly choking on her cereal, Elphaba sputtered, "Please _do not_ ask me about this. You have a mother for a reason."

"Then what's my reason for having a sister?"

"Mom forgot her pill," Elphaba said in between spoonfuls. She was sure she heard Shell laughing from wherever he was eavesdropping from. At least he appreciated her, even if it was for her shamelessness.

Nessa cleared her throat. "_Anyway_...I don't know what to do." She blushed furiously. "He asked me out."

Putting down her spoon, Elphaba's interest peeked. "Do I know him?"

Shrugging, Nessa replied, "I just met him at the library." But there was no hiding her grin. This was the first boy that had ever showed her attention.

"And you really like him, but you have to do what _you_ think." Elphaba was sure that just by helping Nessa with a relationship, she was jinxing it.

"But I don't know what I think! That's why I came to you! _Obviously._" Nessa rolled her eyes and Elphaba mocked her.

Elphaba felt a huge amount of pressure weigh down her shoulders. "I'm going to say go for it, but please, for the love of Oz, be careful. Take it slow. Oh and don't tell dad, he'll hunt the poor guy down."

* * *

><p>Elphaba didn't talk much to her family members over the course of the summer. Well, she did talk to them, but the subjects were meaningless. Good dinner. Can I have a ride to the library? Where did you put the keys? I'll do the dishes.<p>

Galinda didn't text. Fiyero didn't text. Melena didn't offer fashion advice. Frex didn't even guilt her on Sundays. And that's when Elphaba realized that there was something off. Something way off.

It hadn't been until last Lurlinemas that Elphaba even considered the fact that her parents might be unhappy together, but the signs were more prominent.

Elphaba knew that there was a stash of mind-numbing pinlobble leaves stuffed in the master bedroom, but she couldn't bring herself to look. Melena took too many naps for her to be tired, but she still was. And Frex was gone right up until dinner, only to come home and spend the rest of the night ensconced on his phone or in a bible, not even communicating with Nessa.

Shell disappeared more often and Nessa kept the events of her library romance secret, clueless to the realization that they were stowaways on a sinking ship.

All the while, Elphaba found it hard to look at Nessa and not picture her out of the chair. She couldn't help wondering if the potion was even necessary. It was a devastating train of thought, but an unavoidable one. The thought kept snowballing into worse ideas. It got so bad that Elphaba tried to call Galinda, but no one answered.

Feeling on the verge of insanity, Elphaba spent the summer pacing half of her room. Back and forth all day. Her legs did all of that moving and yet she felt like she wasn't going anywhere.

Music didn't go loud enough and books weren't long enough. Elphaba wanted to go insane rather than sit alone in her room dreading the next year and feeling like the world's biggest mistake. What she didn't realize that downstairs in the kitchen her mother was going through the exact same thing, but they weren't talking.

One day when Melena was out, Elphaba ventured out of her room and wandered around the house aimlessly. She passed Shell's vacant room and then Nessa's, covered in library books she only borrowed as an excuse to talk to her mysterious admirer. Elphaba even peeked into her parents' room. One side of the bed was neat, as if no one had ever been there. The other side was extremely messy; defiantly so. But she noticed that Melena's drawer was slightly ajar. It bothered her to no end until she decided just to close it.

In the process, Elphaba couldn't help taking a little peek inside. She saw the golden jewellery box that she had caught Nanny trying to pocket a few years ago, and right on top were the wads of green, leafy calming agents Melena found herself addicted to.

Before she could stop herself and think it through, Elphaba reached right in and wrapped her fingers around one, popping it into her mouth. At first the salty, bitter tang made her gag, but as she got used to it and sucked around the leaf, she felt the calm take effect almost instantly.

Spitting it out, Elphaba stumbled out of the room and back into her own, where she collapsed backwards onto her bed and stared at the ceiling, out the open window or just at the wall adjacent to her. It was such a nice feeling; not thinking thoughts. But she was still coherent. Whoever began tasting these happy plants knew exactly what they were doing.

Soon Elphaba fell asleep and skipped dinner, waking up close to midnight groggy, grumpy and immediately reminded of all of her problems. It was all she could do not to sneak past her sleeping parents and stash a few more leaves in her pocket.

* * *

><p>"Elphaba," Frex said seriously, "we're not joking around here. This is a serious issue, so please, attempt to concentrate." His tone was more annoying than it was harsh. It made Elphaba want to ignore him more. "We're concerned that university isn't benefiting you as much as we'd like it to."<p>

Stifling a yawn, Elphaba didn't reply. She'd been through this conversation far too many times.

But Melena had never been a part of these discussions before and she wasn't too pleased with Elphaba's lack of attention. In fact, she hadn't been too pleased with Elphaba's moping about all summer long. "So either you're going to pick up your act or we're pulling you out."

Elphaba blinked in surprise, but forced her comeback cold. "Excuse me for not being open to a life as a lonely housewife."

"Might I remind you that there are other occupants in this house who needn't hear this conversation," Frex said calmly.

"We mustn't wake_ Nessa_," Melena added unfeelingly.

"So what are you saying?" Elphaba continued incredulously. "That I should drop out? I'll pick something if that's what you want me to do."

"We want you to pick something that will make you happ-"

But Frex cut Melena off and changed her statement halfway through. "We want you to pick something that you can make something of yourself with."

"What about sorcery?" Elphaba said, aiming to anger her father on purpose.

Frex's jaw tightened, but Melena was even more scandalized. "All of your potential and you'd go for the one thing that would run our reputations even further into the ground?"

Elphaba clenched her fists and stood up dramatically. "Well, I'm sorry that the only thing that's connected you two over the years is the embarrassment of being my parents, but hey, you know what? It's kept you together pretty nicely until you decided I needed to get a life. Nanny always said this family would fall apart in style." On her way to her room, Elphaba stopped by Melena's for her pinlobble fix.


	13. Good Luck Elphie

Not a soul in the house couldn't feel the crumbling marriage. In desperation, Frex and Melena lavished their attention on Shell, trying to keep him home during the day, but to no avail. They babied him too much and it only alienated him more.

The delicate balance everything was set in was tearing at the seams and there was only one thing in the centre keeping it intact. And that was Nessarose.

But Nessa was a difficult subject and an unpredictable object of affection. She was the only one in the family who wasn't kept in it by Melena because she had always been closer to Frex. Nessa was the balance, but she didn't realize it. Elphaba and Shell would never be able to please Frex the way Nessa did. They would never have his faith and never be able to embody both Melena's grace and beauty.

And at the same time, while Nessa was so put together, she was the one in the most need. They were all well aware that Nessa would require help her whole life. She'd need some sense of comfort to overpower her sensitivity. It was the only interest Frex and Elphaba would ever have in common and therefore in the eyes of Frex; it was all Elphaba was good for. And then Melena blamed herself, or she blamed it on Elphaba, or she blamed it on Frex to avoid having it all to herself. She _took_ the potion _because_ of Elphaba, but Frex had _told_ her to.

So maybe it was that fateful day when Nessa returned home from the library sobbing that everything fell into place.

Melena had to explain to her that not all relationships work out and Nessa refused to believe it. Her library boy had been the only thing keeping her happy all summer. She was convinced that she had finally found someone to keep close to home and fill the emptiness she was feeling as a result of her family. Every day she had met him; built him into her routine. It wasn't supposed to change.

"Surrender your pain to the sugar, honey, it always works for me." Melena offered Nessa a whole container of ice cream from which she was actively spooning from. She had pain to surrender too.

Elphaba floated to the bottom of the stairs. "Then it's probably laced with something."

"Speaking of which..." Melena glared at Elphaba. "I've noticed some things disappearing from my drawer lately. And you've been so tired. Should I be concerned?"

"You would know better than me. Are the only side effects birth defects?"

"Would you two please_ stop_?" Nessa burst out angrily, wiping her eyes. "I'm having the worst day of my _life_!" She hiccupped and sniffled.

"Why is everyone always _yelling_?" Shell shouted, shrugging on a hoodie and bounding down the stairs and straight out of the door. Frex came in just as he left, but didn't bother to say anything. His first concern was his wreck of a daughter crying in the corner. And it wasn't Elphaba, who was hugging herself tightly. He ran right to Nessa and took her into his arms, stroking her hair and murmuring comforting things.

Elphaba didn't know what that felt like, but she had a pretty good idea of what she was missing out on.

Later that night, Elphaba, Nessa and Shell pretended to be in their happy places, but they couldn't deny the angry voices and cold silences that echoed from the kitchen. The sound of two stranded adventurers helplessly rubbing sticks together to rekindle the spark.

* * *

><p>When the whole vicious cycle was ready to begin again, Elphaba packed her bags and readied her plane ticket. The only difference was that this time she was bringing all of her money with her.<p>

But before she had the chance to escape, Melena came into Elphaba's room and sat right on her luggage. She leant forward so that her wavy hair fell over her shoulders and stared absentmindedly until she shook her head and snapped out of the trance. For a second she watched Elphaba pace around the room. "You're never going to get anywhere if you don't get over it."

"If I was that kind of person, I could potentially blame all of my problems on you."

Melena ran a hand through her hair. "I get that Fiyero means a lot to you, but he doesn't dictate your life. Neither do your puppeteers."

Elphaba smirked and then flopped onto her bed.

"I'm not ready to see you go."

"But I'm ready to leave," Elphaba said numbly.

Melena sighed. "All you've shown me is that you have way too much to learn about the world."

"Maybe _you're_ the one who has a lot to learn about the world."

"That too," Melena agreed. She stared at Elphaba as though trying to see through her; to see what was really going on inside of her. "Why don't you go say bye to Nessa before you go?" she suggested and watched Elphaba stomp out of the room.

When Melena was sure Elphaba was out of earshot she scrambled over to Elphaba's handbag and fished through it for her phone. Finding it buried at the bottom and nearly dead, Melena realized that Elphaba must not have been expecting any calls. Tap, tap, tap and the screen she wanted was up. She wasn't as in tune with the technological world as Frex, but Shell had taught her a thing or two. Melena held the phone to her ear.

"What's up?"

"Hi," Melena said sweetly. "Who is this?"

"It's Fiyero. Who is this and why are you using Elphie's phone?"

"This is Elphaba's mother." Melena heard Fiyero try to cover some explicit curses. "I was curious as to how your year went."

"It was real good," Fiyero said indifferently, or at least trying to sound indifferent. Melena wasn't only the actress, but the casting director.

"So you decided not to come over for the summer? I asked Elphaba to invite you," Melena lied, "but I guess you two aren't close anymore. Although you were rather close at one point." She noted the uncomfortable shifting on the other end of the line. "So I'll get straight to my point. You broke her heart because of your poor self-esteem and terrible self-control. Therefore, you are going to fix this by giving her some kind of closure before she ends up going down a road none of us want her to go down. It's your obligation now, or else you're just exhibiting how much of a selfish bastard you really are." She was getting carried away and forgot who she was talking to. In her mind she was speaking to someone she had wanted to speak to for a long time.

"Wouldn't that just make me a selfish bastard to every other girl I've dated?"

"When their parents call and plead their case, then you're welcome to ignore this. We both know that Elphaba is different and we both know that it makes her so much more than everyone else, so choose what you're going to say wisely." She hung up the phone, but didn't get the chance to return it to the bag before Elphaba came back.

She eyed Melena suspiciously. "Who were you talking to?"

"Myself," Melena said automatically.

Elphaba's eyes lowered to Melena's hands, which were hidden behind her back. She lunged forward and wrestled the phone out of her mother's hands, immediately checking the history. "You. Didn't."

"I did." Melena shrugged. "Someone had to and it wasn't going to be you." She squeezed Elphaba's arm. "Have fun at school this year, sweetheart."

But contrary to Melena's wishes, it wasn't fun. Elphaba was back at square one with absolutely no friends. Since Pfannee had been successful in isolating her, she and her friends dropped the whole "Like Mother, Like Daughter" crusade and were scouting around for their next victim. But it wasn't all over. Galinda still had no words for her and Fiyero was trying to get her alone. Neither of which was going to happen anytime soon. Elphaba avoided Fiyero at all costs.

Nothing changed until October when Elphaba was called down to Madame Morrible's office. She already knew why. Her grades were slipping, she had sassed Doctor Nikidik twice this week and she still hadn't made any decisions as to her future. This meeting was shaping up to be one hell of a blast. Sarcasm implied.

"Miss Thropp, a seventy in mathematics? Last year you were at a solid ninety. It isn't a year to slack off. You've been our highest student since day one. I'd like to narrow this down to your choice of friends, but I realize there is no choice of friends to compare to."

"Madame, with all due respect, I think it's obvious why I don't have any friends." Elphaba stated, "and as for my grades, well there really isn't a reason for me to try anymore, is there?"

Madame Morrible's jaw dropped, but she recovered herself quickly. "And does this nonexistent reason also pertain to your behaviour in class?"

"The professor said something that I don't think was an appropriate remark for such an _unbiased_ school," Elphaba said frigidly, silently worried her voice was assuming this constantly cold tone.

"It would do you some good to learn when to shut your mouth. Even Miss Upland has mastered it."

"I am not, nor will I ever be, Miss Upland." Elphaba was calm and collected, despite the anger and anxiety she was really feeling.

Morrible's temper was rising and she reached for the phone on her desk, holding it out to emphasize her point. "We don't want to be forced into desperate measures now."

The next sentence flew out of Elphaba's mouth so fast that she didn't even have time to consider it. "You won't have to, Madame, because I'm dropping out." She stood and picked up her bag off the ground, taking the textbooks out and setting them on Morrible's desk. "I won't be needing those." She emptied all of her pens and pencils and spare sheets of paper out too. "It was lovely knowing you Madame," she said with false sincerity and stormed out.

Completely taken by surprise, Morrible realized that she hadn't been so appalled by a student since twenty years ago when Melena Thropp had made the same exact decision.

* * *

><p>Some part of Elphaba must have foreseen this because she had never bothered to unpack her luggage. She threw in the few belongings that she had taken out, left all her remaining textbooks on the bed, wrote a quick note to Galinda and then left her key on the drawer. The blonde could finally have the private suite she wanted.<p>

She took the long way around to the front door so she could make her final goodbye to the school she had adored so much. This had been her dream, but it wasn't anymore. She was dreamless.

On the way down she passed her old science class and peeked inside. Fiyero was sitting in the corner desk and caught her eye, then his eyes wandered to the luggage beside her and the jacket hanging over her arm.

Elphaba moved on quickly, but she heard the mumble of voices as Fiyero excused himself and then ran up behind her. "Where the hell are you going?"

Spinning around with what passed as joy, Elphaba laughed happily. "I dropped out. I'm leaving Shiz forever!"

Horror flashed across Fiyero's face. "You're not serious."

"Why would I lie about that? And why would you care?" she added.

"I need to talk to you before you go," he pleaded. "Just listen, okay?"

Elphaba ignored him. "Sorry, I really have to see if I can get a flight." She waved, but Fiyero pulled her back.

"Listen to me. I don't want you to leave. I need to-"

"You're so sweet when you want to be," Elphaba said condescendingly. Just then, her phone vibrated in her hand. She looked down at the caller and looked back at Fiyero apologetically, "I have to take this. It's my sister." She held her jacket in between her knees and looped a scarf around her neck. "Maybe I'll see you again."

She walked off quickly and Fiyero wasn't able to catch any of the conversation. He was worried about Elphaba. He had a feeling she wasn't going home, as she had come back from summer break so unhappy. But she had no money, no job and nowhere else to go. It wasn't until now that he realized what an asshole he had been to her_. Real good, Fiyero._ He'd have to tell Galinda before she got to her dorm and blew a casket, so he returned to class; his shoulders distinctly lower and his smile distinctly faded.

But it wasn't over for Elphaba yet. She answered her phone when she was out of Fiyero's sight and Nessa went off immediately.

"Elphaba! I've left you a million messages! Why don't you have your phone on?" She was upset, Elphaba could tell instantly. Nessa never called her, let alone on the verge of tears.

"Is something wrong?" Elphaba asked hesitantly.

"Yes! Everything's wrong! Elphaba, I can't take it anymore! You need to come home _right now_!" Nessa took a deep breath. "Mom and dad aren't talking and Shell's acting out. We haven't done anything together in a month. Daddy comes home later every night. Shell's going mad. The other night he didn't come home until one and we didn't know where he was. It's just mom around. But she's not here, Elphaba. She's drinking. But-" there was a long pause. "She looks more like a ghost than a mom. She's _scared_."

As easily as Elphaba had accepted her freedom, she was drawn back into the drama that was taking control of her life. "What do you want me to do?"

"Come home! They talk to you, they don't talk to me. I think I'm going insane in this house." She was so desperate it pained Elphaba.

Then Elphaba remembered her own contribution to the drama. "Nessa, this is a really bad time and I know I'm adding to the pressure, but I may or may not have just dropped out."

"YOU. DID. WHAT?" Nessa hyperventilated. "You're dead. YOU ARE SO DEAD. WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!"

"It's okay. I'll come home. Just give me a week."

"A WEEK?" Nessa was clearly panicking.

"I'm going apartment hunting in the Emerald City."

"You're crazier than we are," Nessa decided.

"And one more thing?" Elphaba added. "Tell them I left Shiz, okay?"

"Why me?"

"Because they're far less likely to murder you than they are me_._"


	14. The Real Housewives of Munchkinland

It took Elphaba nearly the whole week to find a suitable apartment. The whole two room scheme would sicken everyone else (and by everyone else she meant Melena,) but it kept her happy. Unfortunately, she had no savings remaining whatsoever.

Deciding to delay her trip to Munchkinland as long as she could without stranding Nessa, Elphaba embarked on an unsuccessful search for a career. Not many people hired without a diploma and Elphaba had never taken an interest in the fast food business. She had only called once to say that she had found an apartment and resolved to call Nessa again. But in the process, Elphaba discovered ten new messages in her voicemail. All from one very angry, very disappointed parent.

"ELPHABA THROPP YOU GET YOUR GREEN BUTT BACK IN MUNCHKINLAND. DO YOU THINK WHAT YOU'RE DOING IS GOOD? DO YOU THINK WE'RE PROUD? DO YOU THINK YOU'RE REBELLING? JUST WAIT UNTIL I TELL YOUR FATHER."

"WHAT POSSESSED YOU TO LEAVE SHIZ? HAVEN'T I GOTTEN ANYTHING ACROSS TO YOU? I HOPE YOU'RE HAVING A HARD TIME FINDING A JOB. YOU ALWAYS WERE TOO STUBBORN TO SEE SENSE."

"ELPHABA IF YOU DON'T PICK UP THIS PHONE SO I CAN YELL AT YOU I'M GOING TO HUNT YOU DOWN MYSELF."

Elphaba listened to the repetitive messages until she got to the last one which sounded a little too ominous for her taste.

"Your first mistake was telling Nessa where you moved."

And Elphaba knew that the knock she heard at the door was someone she wouldn't be able to escape. She contemplated pretending to not have heard it, but rejected the idea as it was ridiculously cruel even to someone who had left her nothing but livid tidings. Melena only wanted the best for her family in the long run. She just hadn't done a very good job of ensuring it.

Leaving her phone on the cot that counted as her bed and her couch, Elphaba went to answer the door.

"I really can't believe you." Melena walked right in, not bothering to take off her jacket or her scarf. Her cheeks were rosy from being outside or maybe from anger. "Of all things to do at this point in time. You didn't even tell me!" Elphaba was ready to cut her off, but she held up a hand to stop her. "Don't even talk. You _know_ how important getting an education is. You've screwed yourself over for life."

"...by doing exactly what you did..."

Melena spun on her heel and faced Elphaba. "Do I look like I'm really happy with my life right now?"

Elphaba felt like she was two years old and being scolded for touching a hot stove or eating the last cookie. "You told me getting my own place would be good for me."

"By your own place, I meant a penthouse apartment in the central part of the city. Not some one room dump on the outskirts of town."

"But I don't want that!" Elphaba argued. "That's what you want!"

"Is it money issues?" Melena blurted out. "If that's the case I'll help you until you can pick it up yourself."

"I DON'T WANT THAT!"

"So you're purposely putting yourself here?" Melena cried. She turned her back to Elphaba and threw her hands up helplessly. The apartment was suffocating her more by the second.

"Is there a problem?" Elphaba asked coolly.

"Yes there is!" Melena said angrily. "Why would you even consider lowering yourself to this level?"

Elphaba placed her hands on her hips. "Because it's what I want."

"_Why?"_

"I want to figure out what I'm going to do with my life on my own."

Melena seemed to be struggling with something; the mental anguish was showing on her face. "You're coming home." She shook her head and stepped forward with a firmer resolve. "Let's go, right now."

"It seems to me that the last time you were serious about me doing something, we ended up in a worse place than we began with." Elphaba stepped forward too. "I'm not leaving."

"I don't ask as much of you as your father does, but when I do, it's because I care about _your_ wellbeing," Melena admitted furiously.

Elphaba didn't answer, but matched the question with a question. "Why don't you ever ask anything of Nessa and Shell?"

Melena stamped her foot childishly. "BECAUSE THEY KNOW WHAT THEY'RE DOING WITH THEIR LIVES!"

Biting back tears, Elphaba ran out of the room. Melena began packing up her things and making plans to sell the apartment.

* * *

><p>"Let's make the best of this," Frex advised at dinner. Melena glared at him. Elphaba glared at her. Nessa glared at Elphaba. Shell glared at Nessa. They all sat in stony silence.<p>

"I want to move out," Elphaba snarled finally.

"I want you to move out," Shell replied. He'd been snapping at his sisters mercilessly since Elphaba and Melena hopped off the plane.

"You're not going to move out until you get a job," Frex advised. "You'll have to support yourself."

"I _was_ supporting myself."

"_That_ was not supporting yourself," Melena interrupted.

"I have a friend who's willing to offer you a job at his law office," Frex suggested.

Elphaba looked at her father. "...fine." She couldn't find it in herself to refuse. "And tomorrow I start looking for an apartment," she finished.

Melena shifted her glare to Elphaba. _"With me."_

Shell pushed his chair out loudly. "I'm gone." Nessa nodded and left with him. Although they could be heard bickering down the hall, it wasn't the joking arguments they used to start with each other.

"Well, I think it's good that you stay closer to home," Frex said. "We'll all be able to keep an eye on Nessa next year."

Elphaba blinked heavily. "Why next year?"

"She decided she wanted to wait for university until the rest of her class graduates," Frex explained.

"That's not why," Melena said obviously. "She wanted to wait until Elphaba was back."

"I wasn't supposed to come back," Elphaba muttered.

"But isn't it a good thing you did?" Frex asked rhetorically. "How upset would Nessa be without you around?"

Elphaba pushed her chair out and prepared to follow the path Shell and Nessa followed out. "We wouldn't want Nessa to realize any of her independent potential, now would we? She might want to leave too."

The next day Elphaba reluctantly followed Melena around town searching for an apartment. The person she wanted to avoid was helping her make the decision. It was as if Melena knew that and was trying to leave her permanent imprint.

All of the apartments that Melena approved were completely out of Elphaba's price range and uselessly big for her taste. Elphaba had hoped she could afford a car, but with this purchase she'd have to wait years. Finally realizing that the options weren't getting any smaller and the prices not lowering, Elphaba decided on the one furthest from her family's home. Melena simply told her that she would pay half of it until Elphaba was on her feet. Seeing the ridiculousness of arguing it, Elphaba accepted and went home to pack her things.

Then Elphaba had to accompany her father to the law office where she would be working. Filing papers, answering phones and typing up documents. Ideal work for someone who had been doing science experiments with the greatest professors in Oz, right?

On top of that there was the joking way Frex's friend greeted him and Elphaba. It was no secret that Elphaba's education at Shiz had gone to hell. And so the Thropp family remained the laughingstock of Munchkinland; no thanks to Elphaba.

That night Elphaba moved into her apartment and curled up with a book for the first time in months. She needed the comfort she used to get from this, but it wasn't helping. She put the book down and leant back against the pillow, wishing she could pinpoint exactly when things went wrong. But if she looked at it that way, it had probably been the day she was born and her parents realized that no matter how hard they scrubbed, the green wasn't coming off.

But what if it had been before that? What if it hadn't been_ all_ Elphaba?

Working life was not what Elphaba expected. Before she even arrived (and she arrived twenty minutes late) she had a pile of files stacked on her desk and five missed calls. The only person who talked to her all day was her boss who told her he expected better. Elphaba walked into the staffroom at lunch and a bunch of snickering women in the corner stopped and stared at her. It was peculiar how people two heads shorter than her could make her feel three feet tall.

Elphaba left her lunch break early and got a head start on her filing, which she managed to finish within the hour. By the end of the day Elphaba had put in so much effort that her boss congratulated her. The young university dropout may be useless in high society, but she had determination.

Although she was tired, Elphaba tossed and turned all night. This was the first night she had ever been completely alone besides her few golden days in the Emerald City. Those had been different, she had welcomed those. Now she was just lonely. She didn't have Galinda on the other side of the room or Nessa on the other side of the wall. Both of them had proved themselves considerably useless at times, but they had also proved decent advice givers and company keepers.

Debating whether or not she should get a pet, Elphaba realized that a car was probably more of a necessity since the bus was the reason for her tardiness. She drifted off to sleep, imagining there was someone beside her, but not knowing who it was.

...and then the next day she got up and started the process again. Every day it got more tiresome, so she kept putting off her ultimate chore. She called Nessa two weeks after moving out.

"Elphaba, where did you go?" Nessa asked sadly. "I didn't ask you to come home so you could leave again."

"I'm sorry, Nessa." Part of her really was. The other part wanted to make a snide comment about the increased spoilage Nessa had been taking full advantage of. "But we'll make things better."

"I don't think so. I'm worried." Nessa sighed and waited a moment to let her words sink in; a habit of hers. "You know mom's still drinking," she stated matter-of-factly.

"In front of you?"

"She doesn't care to hide it anymore." Nessa paused. "And Shell's hanging out with the wrong crowd."

"What do you mean?"

"The red-eyed class ditchers."

Elphaba scrambled to change the subject. "Nessa, I want your honest opinion on something."

"Alright."

"Do you think I should get a cat?"

Nessa burst out laughing, despite all of her worries. "So you can be a crazy cat lady?"

Elphaba humphed. "How about a dog then?"

"You don't strike me as a dog person," Nessa said honestly, but a lot more cheerfully than before. Elphaba wished she could see Nessa's pretty face light up with her laugh.

"I guess I'll have to get a monkey."

"You do that."

"It's not that strange, is it?"

"Sure it isn't."

"A dog it is."

"You don't need a dog," Nessa said angrily. "Just find a boyfriend."

Elphaba laughed. "I like angry Nessa. She makes me laugh."

"Ahaha," Nessa said sarcastically, "but Nessa doesn't like angry Nessa."

"That's why you need to be like me," Elphaba advised. "Angry Elphaba_ is_ Elphaba." She thought for a moment. "You know, you never told me what happened with your library hunk."

Nessa's change of tone was immediate. "I can't believe I was so desperate."

"Tell me about it."

"I was reaching for a book and he helped me get it and then asked me my name and whatever. Then he said he'd like to see me again, so we kept meeting at the library. Finally, he asked me out. He told me he really liked me more than any other girl he'd ever met."

"Mhm." Elphaba was fairly sure she could tell where this was going.

"Four weeks later he dumped me and told me he liked someone else. I was just his practice girl!" Nessa groaned despairingly. "Now that I look back on it, I'd rather spend my whole life alone than with a jerk like that!" She calmed down and her voice became lower and more implied. "So...what happened with _your_ man?"

"You mean that jackass mom invited over for Lurlinemas for her own devices?"

"I knew something went wrong!" Nessa exclaimed. "Mom was talking about you two being a perfect couple for days and then BOOM. She just stopped...and mom never stops anything. So...?"

"He...abandoned me."

"Wow." Nessa didn't stop there. "But he was all over you at home."

"More so than you think."

"You really liked him though. That must have been hard," Nessa said sympathetically.

"No harder than yours."

"But I'm getting over mine," Nessa pointed out kindly. "Are you over yours?"

"Stop being smart," Elphaba said lightly, with a note of finality in her voice.

"Not happening...but you will come home soon, right?"

"I'll come by next week, but don't tell anyone. Wouldn't want them to get all dressed up for my arrival."

Nessa laughed. "I love you, you know that? No matter how in need of anger management and a new wardrobe you are."


	15. Twice Upon a Mattress

**A/N: So yesterday I was on the phone with my best friend Mi[shell] and this flew out of my mouth: "Girls should be able to have two boyfriends. One doesn't seem like enough." That being said, I think it's appropriate to continue this story.**

* * *

><p>Nothing could prepare Elphaba for the despair that filled her as she shoved her key into the lock and pushed the door open. The silence hit her first. It killed her. She forced herself in measured steps to the kitchen. Melena was sitting at the table and Shell was leaning against the counter.<p>

But he clearly wasn't able to take anymore and left the room, not acknowledging Elphaba who was flattened against the wall in the corner of the hallway. Elphaba peeked in and saw her mother in such a state of utter defeat it left her eyes misty. Melena had her head in her arms, flat against the table. Her hair spilled out over the wood and her shoulders were shaking violently. Elphaba knew that look too well, it was the look of someone who felt like a failure. An empty bottle sat within arm's reach.

She realized how traumatized Shell must be by this. He had never noticed anything but the happy-go-lucky show his parents put on for him. Now he was forced to try to make conversation with his lonely, desperate, alcoholic mother. There wasn't much Elphaba could do about that, but she could try.

Without saying anything to Melena, Elphaba slipped into her mother's room and took the package of pinlobble leaves that she had spent the summer stealing from and dumped it in the trash. Next she went to the bottom cupboard in the bathroom where she was sure she would find all the alcohol Melena kept to herself. Elphaba began pulling out the bottles and emptying them in the sink. Just the smell of the liquids made her woozy, but she persevered through it until she got to the very back of the cupboard. There were three bottles left. Then two. And the last. As Elphaba pulled it out of the dark, she was sure it was empty.

Flipping on the light to look at it closely, Elphaba felt the label of the shiny, green bottle and tried to read it, but it was almost too faded to make out. It gave off the most convincing, alluring smell Elphaba had ever had the pleasure to experience. Old books and Melena's perfume.

Sliding it into the back pocket of her jeans, Elphaba disposed of the empty spirit bottles and went to see Nessa before confronting her mother about the alien bottle. But it was useless, because as soon as she walked into the room Nessa said, "What are you hiding?"

"I'm not hiding anything."

Nessa didn't look amused and Elphaba decided it was best to tell someone. She took out the green bottle and passed it to her sister. "Do you know what this is?"

Turning it around in her hands, Nessa looked inside, underneath and scratched at the faded label. Tentatively she lifted it to her nose and inhaled. Nanny's cookies and Lurlinemas trees. "I've never seen it in my life. Where did you get this?"

"I might have been dumping out mom's alcohol."

Nessa smiled. "I knew as soon as you got back that things would be better."

"Should I ask mom?"

Stroking the smooth glass of the bottle, Nessa reasoned, "Wait until dinner and daddy might answer you better." Elphaba glanced at Nessa incredulously. "Okay. Daddy might answer_ me_ better."

Despite their plans, dinner proved an uncomfortable experience for all involved. Frex arrived home and coaxed Shell out of his room, but the only person who had ever made dinner less painful wasn't making any effort. In fact she hadn't even _made_ dinner. The mantle had fallen to Elphaba. Finally, when Elphaba couldn't take it anymore, she set the bottle down in the middle of the table so hard it rang as it made contact. Everyone looked up.

Nessa regretted it instantly when she saw the panic on her mother's face.

"Whoa, can I see that?" Shell asked, staring at his reflection in the green glass. "Look at me, I'm Elphie!"

"Where did you get that?" Melena choked out. "Why were you going through my things?"

"So then you do know what it is," Elphaba said curtly. "Care to elaborate?"

"No."

Nessa turned to her father. "Daddy, do you know what this is?"

He shook his head. "Nessa, darling, I've never seen that before." Out of the corner of his eye, he watched Melena intently.

"I've never seen it!" Melena argued dully. "Never in my life." Her hands were fidgeting in her lap so violently that everyone could see through her lie.

"It could have belonged to the person who owned this house before," Shell suggested.

"The house was new when we bought it," Frex corrected. "Not a possibility."

"None of this has to do with any of us," Melena retorted. She was in full force denial now.

Shell still wasn't understanding the weight of the conversation. "Then you know where this came from," he pointed out smugly.

"This thing clearly isn't from around here. It's obviously old, but dad's never seen it before. _Does_ it have something to do with us?" Elphaba knew it did. She could feel it. Melena reached for the bottle, but Nessa was quicker and swiped it towards Elphaba, who took it into her hands. "Where did you get it from?"

Melena avoided the question. "This isn't any of your business and you'll never go snooping through people's things again."

"It looks like meddling runs in the family." No matter how sorry Elphaba had felt earlier, she still held it all against her mother. For the mess she had endured at Shiz, for bringing her back to this hellhole, for giving birth in the first place.

"Where did it come from, Melena?" Frex asked forcefully.

"It didn't come from anywhere. Don't you believe in magic?" Melena tried to fight back the hysteria in her voice and leave the room, but Shell came around and stood behind her chair, forcing her down.

"You're screwed now, mom. Might as well tell us."

Melena's mind scrambled to tell the truth without telling the truth. She just didn't want to expose her family to what gripped her world and led her to things that _should _be considered wrong. "I got it from...a man...who needed directions."

"And decided to gift you with an empty bottle?" Elphaba finished harshly.

"It wasn't empty when I got it." And then Melena caught herself, realizing that she had completely betrayed herself. Four on one were not the best odds, even for such a gifted liar.

"So you drank something that a stranger offered you?" Nessa exclaimed. "You could have _died_!"

"It was offered compassionately," Melena argued, "and I was very lonely! Because your father was where he always is..."

Shell laughed. He just wasn't getting it. "What was so hard to tell about that?" He backed towards the fridge. "Oh look, I'm going to drink some milk now. Sue me."

"Why do I have a feeling this gets worse?" Elphaba said knowingly.

"I might have invited the stranger in...and..." Melena trailed off, at first not out of shame, but because it was something she had been desperate to keep to herself for years. She was more mortified by her lack of regret than anything.

"And what?" Frex demanded.

"And we might have...I didn't know! I wasn't thinking!" Melena burst out angrily. "I wouldn't have done it if I was thinking clearly!" She was regaining some of her lying capacity. With all the denial they'd been practicing, they wouldn't see through that one.

Nessa looked around bewilderedly. "What is going on?"

"Mom took some happy juice and screwed a stranger!" Shell burst out uncertainly.

Frex flexed his fingers against the table, speechless. Only Nessa could understand why he would never be outwardly angry. Heaven contained a buffet of just desserts.

"I don't even know where he came from, but when I had that drink I saw other things..." Melena confessed. As long as she had begun to ruin everything, she might as well finish the job.

One hot, plump tear rolled down Nessa's cheek. "That's what being drunk is," she said coldly. Melena didn't correct her, nor explain.

Finally catching on, Shell insisted, "How the hell long ago was this?" He rarely ever lost his temper, especially with his mother.

"Twenty years ago," Melena murmured. She hadn't looked at Elphaba the whole time.

Nessa's jaw dropped. "Omigod." She looked at Shell, then Elphaba. "Omigod. OMIGOD!"

Shell was lost again. "What?"

Looking at Elphaba like she was the stranger, Nessa blurted, "ELPHABA'S OUR_ HALF_-SISTER!"

"We don't know that," Melena corrected quietly. The truth wasn't relieving her at all. Elphaba and Shell were dumbstruck, Nessa heartbroken and Frex disappointed. She could see it all clear on their faces.

"So twenty years and you haven't even been sure," Frex repeated dumbly. "But you decided not to tell anyone."

"I bet she told Nanny," Elphaba said coldly. "You'd never believe the things she tells Nanny. For example..." She turned to Nessa. "Apparently, your handicap is my fault because mom took another potion when she was pregnant with you so you wouldn't become like me. Maybe all she really needed was a little more of that." She pointed at the green bottle.

Nessa's sobs grew louder. It wasn't that she had any trouble taking it all in, just that she didn't want to. "Is there anything else about our lives that we don't know?"

Frex's eyes were trained on her, trying to decipher something.

Melena shook her head furiously. If this kind of news had hurt Elphaba, there was no telling what it would do to Nessa. "No. No there's not."

"Maybe Nanny would rather tell it," Elphaba threatened numbly.

A moment of tension and then it all came tumbling out. "I don't know who Nessa's father is either," Melena confessed.

Had Melena actually lived in open adultery while her daughter was only in diapers? Elphaba strained her memory. "The Quadling," she concluded. "It was the Quadling, wasn't it?"

"What does that mean?" Nessa asked helplessly, her voice hoarse.

This time Melena was feeling less pain for her daughters and more for herself. The second affair was dearer to her heart. "When Elphaba was a baby, a stranger came by the house for directions and I invited him in. Turtle Heart ended up staying with us until..."

"Until he died," Frex finished.

"SO YOU'RE SAYING I'M A QUADLING?" Nessa yelled. The thought was more disgusting than anything else. She didn't mind Quadlings on the side of the road, but in her _home_ and with her_ mother_ and encased in her _DNA_ was a different story. "You're saying that I come from the highest born family in Munchkinland and the lowest form of citizen?"

"Nessarose, Turtle Heart was a good man," Frex said simply.

"_In bed_ apparently," Nessa retorted spitefully.

"What about me?" Shell asked somewhat angrily, but it was more to fill in the holes. There was enough of Frex in him to be seen from one glance at the reflection in the microwave.

"There's no question about you," Frex reassured with odd complacency.

"I swear it." Melena shook her head, which was still buried in her hands. She couldn't bear the humiliation of looking up, so her voice came out muffled. "But I don't know- I don't know about Nessa and Elphaba."

"It's okay." Shell squeezed his mother's shoulders. "We can do paternity tests."

"I don't want to!" Nessa shouted. "I shouldn't have to! For a marriage that's lasted twenty years this shouldn't be happening! You're in love!" She left the room rapidly with Shell right behind her. For once Elphaba left with them and followed them into Nessa's room where they could exercise the strength of their bond. Perhaps it wasn't blood ties that made them close, but something entirely different and much sturdier.


	16. Perverse and Inconvenient

Nessa stayed curled up in the corner while Elphaba and Shell sat beside each other on the bed, staring at the wall. Shell broke the silence. "Some parents just want to watch the world burn."

"I can't believe it," Nessa denied quietly. "I won't!"

"It doesn't change, Nessa," Elphaba tried to assure her. "Frex is still our dad even if he isn't."

"I'm going to live the rest of my life knowing that it's possible he's not!" Nessa argued. "Whoever Turtle Heart is, I hate him!"

"At least you have an idea of who it might be." Shell shrugged, obviously not understanding what his sisters were going through. "Elphaba's in the dark for the rest of her life."

Everything she had ever endured piled up in her head at once. "I hate my life," Nessa decided blankly. "I just hate it."

"Don't say that, Nessa," Elphaba said softly. "You've seen firsthand what happens when you give up." She rose from her spot and joined Nessa in the corner, stroking her hair.

"Does anyone else get some weird imagery from the name Turtle Heart?" Shell wondered out loud.

"You should both go," Nessa said, making it sound like an order. "I need to think."

Elphaba and Shell nodded and left, only to stop at the banister and listen to the conversation developing downstairs. Last time this happened, both felt slightly comforted that their parents had found a way to talk out their feelings. This time it wasn't looking so bright.

"It's killing me to see you this way, Melena."

"What? To see me _dying_?" Melena shrieked, the sadness and anger were prominent in her shaky voice. "If marriage means nothing more to you than having a partner to your cause, then maybe it isn't worth it to either of us. I'm not your babysitter or your personal chef. I'm a princess for God's sake! Besides, you've demonstrated perfectly well that you're capable of surviving alone."

"And you've shown that you're not capable of surviving alone."

"Which didn't stop you!"

Frex sounded hurt. Deep down he was as sensitive as Nessa. "Who are you when I'm gone?"

"I didn't do it to hurt you."

"But it's done," Frex finished, his tone telling all. He didn't believe her.

"You can't possibly think I'm a wicked person! Can't you see I was driven to it? Let's talk about it," Melena pleaded. "Sit down with me and_ talk_ about it."

"I don't think you really care," Frex said lightly and honestly, "or at least that's the message I've gotten."

"I do care, I swear on my life and on yours and on Elphaba, Nessa and Shell's. I wouldn't go through any of this if I didn't care," Melena said, stressing her words as much as she could.

"But we wouldn't _be_ going through any of this if you really did care."

"Sit down and tell me something you hate; something about this that's hurting you and we'll make it better. We can try." Melena paused. "Do you think that's even an option anymore?"

Frex didn't answer her.

She was forced to pick up the pieces of the talk again. "You used to be so good to me. I liked the feeling of having someone there."

"You _know_ I care about you."

"Sometimes you need to show it." She sighed loudly. "Your turn."

"I don't want a turn," Frex said painfully. "I think our problems are fairly similar."

"Then what do we do now?"

"Maybe after this time we never really knew each other," Frex concluded.

Elphaba and Shell shifted their gaze momentarily from the light of the kitchen to Nessa, who had come out of her room and joined them. The seventeen year old was opening her eyes for the first time.

"That's not true," Melena mumbled. "We know each other better than anyone else. That's the problem."

"If you know me so well, then, by all means, tell me what I'm thinking."

"You're thinking the same thing as me. We need to end this before one of us winds up dead."

"So it's final."

"I didn't want it to end this way."

"No one did."

* * *

><p>No one left their room the next day except for Frex who had slept on the couch and left the house at the crack of dawn. Elphaba had stayed the night and holed herself up in her room. Melena didn't make a sound.<p>

Around midday Shell slipped into Nessa's room and joined her on the bed. She had been stuck there all day, but she was content because it was the only place she wanted to be. She stared at the ceiling, her eyes glazed over and unfocused. "I didn't think they'd ever do something like that to us." She was out of tears as she'd spent most of the night crying and her voice was shaky and bitter. "I have to get out of here."

"Remember when mom's worst addiction was coffee? And dad actually showed up once in a while?" Shell added.

"It's time to take a fire extinguisher to this wreck."

He whistled. "Damn, girl."

"If _our mother_ doesn't have to keep her commitments, then we certainly don't have to keep ours."

"Oh." Shell stared off into space. "This is about Tur-"

"_Don't_." Nessa held up a hand to stop him. "I don't need to be reminded that I'm a living sin."

Shell exhaled loudly. "Ness, it's not-"

"There's always a way out," Nessa decided determinedly, ignoring him. She thought for a while, not realizing how the obvious solution was lying in the next room. "I've got it!" A glimmer of hope resounded in Shell's eyes. "Elphaba."

An understanding nod. "I see-" he shook his head, "-I don't see."

"She just got an apartment! Her own apartment! To get out of here!" Nessa's sentences were breathless, disjointed and excited.

He jumped up. "So-what-do-we-do?

"Help me pack," Nessa decided. "When they break their news, we break ours."

"Has anyone ever told you you're really smart?" Shell asked, before he left.

Nessa rolled her eyes. "Has anyone ever told you the opposite?"

"What?"

"Go pack!" Nessa ordered. "Underwear, toothbrush, books...wait who am I kidding? You don't know how to read...just make sure you have anything you'll be needing for the next few weeks."

It was hard for Nessa and Shell to look sullen when they had such a devious scheme on their hands. Obviously, with Elphaba they'd be free from these problems and they'd have a lot more freedom altogether.

They both straightened their spines and took a deep breath when Frex called a family meeting in the living room. The first thing they noticed was that their parents were sitting at opposite ends of the couch and immediately their happiness shattered around them. Shell sat beside Elphaba who was staring at nothing in particular with her arms crossed over her chest, apathy wrapped around her like a blanket.

Nessa fixed her eyes on the family photo that was sitting on the shelf in the corner of the room. It looked so complete. Elphaba might be green and she might be in her wheelchair, but they were all there and all smiling. She suddenly wanted a copy of that photo to prove that at one time her family had been whole.

"Kids, we have something to tell you," Frex started. He looked at Melena uncertainly and she indicated for him to proceed. Apparently she'd sabotaged their lives too much already.

Shell held in a sarcastic laugh, so did Elphaba. Nessa's eyes hadn't left the photo.

"Your mother and I have decided that the only way we can move on with our lives is if we get divorced."

No one said anything. No one moved. "Don't get too upset now," Melena said, her voice too loud.

"We heard you last night," Elphaba replied shortly. "Obviously you didn't hear the three doors slam and the screams that followed. We're good. Also, I'm leaving right now."

"Wait!" Nessa exclaimed and Shell pulled Elphaba back down.

"Parents, we have something to tell you," he started. "Nessa and I have decided that the only way we can move on with our lives is if we move in with Elphaba."

Melena, Frex and Elphaba's eyes widened and jaws dropped. None of them expected Nessa and Shell to collaborate in such a diabolical plan.

"Don't get too upset now," Nessa added sweetly, batting her eyelashes.

"Ab-solu-tely not," Melena said tightly.

"Yeah guys," Elphaba said mock-apologetically, "I don't know what I'm doing with my life."

"On the contrary," Nessa said happily, "Shell and I think very highly of your recent lifestyle choices."

"Exactly," Shell agreed. "You two haven't even agreed on anything yet. For example...the house? Who gets that? Neither of you want it. Elphaba wants her apartment very much. Technically she's the better role model here."

"Might I remind you, that we're paying for half of Elphaba's apartment," Melena retorted, a devious smile plastered across her pretty face.

"Which reminds me, actually..." Elphaba stood up. "I don't want your charity anymore."

Melena laughed cruelly. "Because you have so much spare cash lying around."

"That's alright," Elphaba said bitingly. "I'm going to work for something myself. I don't want you involved anymore."

"If Nessa and Shell are living with you-"

"I've got plans for Nessa and Shell." Elphaba didn't really, but Melena didn't need to know that. "We'll be fine."

"We're not going to sit here and watch you end up on the street," Frex stated.

Elphaba wheeled around. "Why? Because it'll embarrass you? You two will fall in love with a Quadling you found on the wrong side of the fence, but when I make a decision it's automatically wrong. That's _fair_."

"Elphaba's a great role model," Nessa defended.

Melena laughed out loud.

"And she's not going to leave us alone all day," Shell added.

"And she's _much_ better with relationships," Nessa continued.

Elphaba held up a hand. "That's quite enough."

Frex and Melena were amused and it was clear. Shaking her head, Elphaba said incredulously, "Clearly you two have as much faith in me as you have in each other."

"You're slightly in over your head," Frex said flatly.

On the other hand, Melena was laughing. "I think this is good. _Really good. _You'll see how fun being a parent is."

Irritated by her mother's tone, Elphaba said angrily, "Wow, mom, you'll have so much spare time on your hands. Maybe you can begin the search for my father."

Melena's face fell and she suddenly wanted Elphaba gone. Feeling a million pounds heavier, she rose off the couch and kissed Shell and Nessa on the cheek. "If you ever need your mother back, I'll be here," she murmured.

"Go call a cab," Elphaba ordered. "I assume you have your bags packed." They nodded and left the room with Frex who would say goodbye out of Melena's sight.

"What's really going on here?" Melena demanded when they were gone.

Elphaba crossed her arms and spun around on her heel. "I was trying to pinpoint when and where your relationship with dad went to hell. I thought it was my fault, but it wasn't. It was yours and you blame me."

"I blame myself, Elphaba. Everyone else blames you."

"I don't think so," Elphaba said coldly. "Not at all. You've been depressed since I was born."

Melena didn't deny it. "How else was I supposed to feel? No one else in the world has gone through what I've gone through."

Elphaba remembered the butterfly necklace that Melena had given her at Lurlinemas. She had stopped wearing it as soon as she had found herself naked on a couch in a dark library with nothing but the jewel on. Last night she had torn through her room to clear every last one of her possessions and found it in the bottom drawer of her dresser.

She dug it out of her pocket now and held it out in an open palm. "I realized that you didn't give this to me so I could make my own good decisions. You gave it to me because you made all of your _bad_ decisions. I don't want it anymore." Melena didn't take it back, but she stared at it hatefully. Elphaba added thoughtlessly, "You never cared about me, I was just the kid you tried your hardest to make less of an embarrassment."

"You nailed it," Melena hissed.

"One more thing..." Elphaba disappeared into the kitchen and came back with the green bottle that they had left on the kitchen table. Before she could stop herself she let it fall and it shattered on the ground. "Maybe we'll meet again someday." And she was gone.


	17. Meet the Grandparents

**A/N: I figured since this is a site centred on writing, it would be appropriate to put forth a question that's been nagging me. Do you think a written piece typed on a computer would come out differently as opposed to the same idea written using pen and paper? And if yes, would one be better than the other or equivalent?**

**On another note, with the two new additions in this chapter, I think this story has hit a Wicked fandom record for most Thropps alive at one time.**

* * *

><p>"Hello, you've reached Colwen Grounds, how may I help you?"<p>

Elphaba stared at her cellphone bewilderedly and then put it to her ear again. "Nanny, is that you?"

"Haven't you heard? Nanny's a receptionist now...and a pretty damn good one at that."

"Nanny I need you to quit your job as a receptionist temporarily," Elphaba pleaded. "I need a nanny."

Nanny wasted no time in assuming. A quirk she had inherited from her employers. "Are you pregnant? Just like your mother, you are."

Gritting her teeth, Elphaba responded, "Nanny, I need you to take care of Nessa and Shell."

"Oh yes." Nanny clicked her tongue. "I heard about the Thropps. My dear Melena..." Despite the love she had for Sophelia, Elphaba, Nessarose, Shell and every other future charge, Melena would always be the favourite.

"Mhm," Elphaba replied carelessly.

"I knew they were never going to last. Just look how those nutcases they call kids turned out."

"Thanks, Nanny," Elphaba mumbled.

"If only the father let me raise them. Then they'd be alright. Look how Melena and Sophelia turned out, always so happy. What were we talking about again?"

"_Nessa and Shell." _Elphaba could hear Nanny's confusion speak to her through the static.

"You know, Nanny's not as young as she used to be. Send them down to Colwen Grounds, dearie."

Elphaba knew that Melena would rather die than let that happen, but that only made the idea more tempting. "We'll be there by tomorrow."

"Who'll be here?"

"Bye, Nanny." Elphaba hung up and went to tell Nessa and Shell her plans.

She had never met the Eminent Thropp and her husband. She wasn't even sure how to address them. Your Eminences...or grandma and grandpa? She wasn't even sure if they were going to take a liking to her. Probably not, but she wasn't planning on staying. It was just a quick, "hey, here's your grandchildren. I'll be back in a few weeks."

But she was eager to meet the people that her mother had spoken so poorly of. Were they really the intense, controlling dictators she made them out to be? They certainly sent nice things to Nessa every once in a while; letters telling her how excited to meet her as soon as they could, and the occasional wad of cash. And to think, Elphaba would be getting showered with love and glorious envelopes of bills if she hadn't been deemed a politically lost cause like her mother. _Thanks for being the dominant gene, mom._

Helping Nessa out of the cab, Elphaba looked up at the intimidating, blue-roofed buildings. Elphaba was sure this rivalled the Wizard's Palace itself. It was that grandiose. The grounds were vast and untouched, except for one path of footprints in the snow which Shell quickly added to by running around. Munchkin groundskeepers bustled around clearing the network of pathways that wound through the gardens. Melena had told them once that in the summer roses were planted throughout, hence Nessa's name.

A grand doorway looked like the entrance to paradise...or the opposite if this was somewhere you didn't want to be. For Melena it must have been like being swallowed into the belly of the beast every time.

Nessa was enchanted. "Why would anyone ever want to leave?"

"I imagine that if you don't want to be here-" Elphaba started.

"But Elphaba! One day this is going to be ours!" She held out her hands, opening her arms to her future home and then pulled off her toque. "What are you waiting for? Let's go in!"

Elphaba hesitated in pushing Nessa forward. Something was worrying her, but she couldn't figure it out. Letting out a breath and tying up her hair, she pushed Nessa inside and waited awkwardly by the doorway. A few minutes later, Nanny bustled forward and pinched Shell's cheeks. She chattered about how handsome he was becoming and then threw her arms around him. "My poor little Shell." She looked at him and then hugged him again. "Must be so traumatized."

"I'm traumatized too, Nanny," Nessa said pointedly.

Nanny turned to Nessa and threw her arms around her for a while. She then turned to Elphaba and shook a finger at the young woman. "You're too old for hugs, stop asking."

"Alright, Nanny." Elphaba was ready to go. She was suffocating. "Everything's good. I'd best be going." She felt behind her for the door.

"NONSENSE, WOMAN!" Nanny barked. With a bark that severe, Elphaba didn't want to test the bite. "You're going to meet your grandparents!"

"I'm sure there's a reason I haven't met them." Elphaba was getting more anxious now, but Nanny wrapped a strong hand around her wrist and pulled her down the corridor. Before she was out of reach, Elphaba grasped Shell's sleeve and pulled him along too.

Nanny didn't let go of Elphaba as she led her up a flight of stairs, down a hall, down another hall and to the last room on the right. A fire blazed in a hearth and two older people were lounging with teacups in their hands.

Melena's mother was simply an older version of Melena. The original, so to speak. Elphaba frightened herself by lining the woman up with Melena and Nessa in her mind and seeing the uncanny resemblance. The second daughter of a second daughter of a second daughter. Yeah, frightening.

The prominent difference was in aura. Melena was always warm. Sweet, summery and sugar-coated. The honey that drew stranger bees from other hives. Her mother was the exact opposite. So much so that it was both intimidating and awe-inspiring. Being the only female on a male governing body, she had to be.

"Have a seat," Lady Partra offered, gesturing at the couch across from her.

Elphaba set Shell free as they both dropped gracelessly into the cushions. Nessa had gone her own way to explore.

"Perhaps Shell would like a tour?" their grandfather offered, getting up smoothly. Why were they so _royal_? It was making Elphaba way too insecure. Shell agreed eagerly, despite Elphaba digging her nails into his wrist, and left. Nanny followed to make sure Nessa was displaying more integrity around the young male butlers than her mother had.

So Elphaba was alone with her grandmother.

"It's so lovely to finally meet you," Lady Partra said. There was something in her tone that sent shivers down Elphaba's spine. It felt more like punishment than welcoming.

"It really is," Elphaba agreed, forcing a smile. If that was any faker it would be plastic. "I don't mean to be a nuisance, but my family-"

"I heard," Melena's mother interrupted gravely, shaking her head. "I always knew something would go wrong. What an example _she's_ set." She sighed and then perked up. "We're always ready to welcome Nessarose and Shell."

They were always ready to welcome _Nessarose and Shell. _Huh_._ "I'll be back within-"

"You're coming back?" She seemed surprised. "But I'm sure Nessarose will get along perfectly fine here."

"Which is exactly what my mother never wanted, and like it or not, I'm still obligated to comply with some of her wishes," Elphaba said curtly.

"Your mother never complied with _my_ wishes."

"My name is Elphaba. I don't know why people keep mistaking it for Melena."

"You certainly act like her," Lady Partra said disappointedly.

Elphaba went rigid. "My mom may not have done the best parenting, but she tried her best. Besides, it's not like she had a good role model."

"I suppose there are just some bad seeds. They can't all be Sophelias and Nessaroses."

"That's funny. Why don't you ask Sophelia what she was like during her teenage years? I mean, my mother may have screwed half of Munchkinland, but who do you think tackled the other half? The only difference is that my mother was brave and stupid enough not to hide it, so she could get back at you for telling her who to love. And Nessa's not as soft as you think. I'm just the brawn behind abandoning our parents. Who do you think was the brain?"

Partra's face twitched in anger and then she resorted back to her stiff demeanor. "You might as well be on your way now. Don't bother coming back." She angled herself away from her granddaughter.

Elphaba was sure Melena had heard those words at some point too. "I'll be back in two weeks." And then she stopped and spun around. "By the way, Nessa's half _Quadling_." Laughter. "Suddenly Frex doesn't seem so bad, huh?"

So Elphaba lived the next two weeks alone, having alienated her parents and her grandparents. She didn't want to collect Nessa and Shell, but she was determined to keep them from being brainwashed. Without her parents help, she found money hard to come by and was forced to take a second job as a waitress at a restaurant close to her apartment. As soon as she saw the "help wanted" sign go up, she took advantage of it. Before she had barely been able to support herself, now she was earning for three.

She even forced herself to splurge on the cheapest used car at the dealership so she wouldn't have to bus with Nessa. Practicing a few days before pickup, Elphaba worked out her schedule so that she could drop her siblings off at school, go to work, pick them up, drop them off, make dinner and go to work.

Preparing her second bedroom for Nessa and the living room for Shell, Elphaba wondered how long the three of them would be able to last together before someone went insane.

Elphaba was ninety-nine-point-nine percent sure it would be herself.

And then on top of that was the fact that none of them had talked to their parents and none of them knew what was going on. Which one had moved out? Had they wasted no time in putting themselves back on the market? _Were they happy?_

By the time her two weeks of preparation were up, Elphaba had called ahead and asked Nanny to get Nessa and Shell ready and waiting outside so she wouldn't have to go inside. All the way "home" Nessa and Shell chattered about how luxurious living at Colwen Grounds was. "Why didn't you stay, Elphaba?" Nessa asked, cutting off Shell's story about a dog named Colwen that chased him around the grounds. He was sure it was some kind of conspiracy theory.

"According to your grandmother I'm too much of a rebel."

"It's going to be yours before it's mine," Nessa pointed out as if Elphaba was making up the argument.

"Are we almost there? I have to pee." Shell asked impatiently, watching the buildings pass out the window. "Do you live on the other side of the province?"

"Pretty much," Elphaba said lightly.

"And where did the car appear from?"

"I splurged."

Shell hit the seat in front of him. "It seems pretty craptacular for a splurge."

"Why don't you buy me a nicer one then?" Elphaba retorted and they continued the conversation discussing possible jobs for Shell until the boy in question broke the tension that had settled around them.

"You know, I think this is good for us," he said matter-of-factly. Like Frex, Shell had his 'normal' voice and his 'preachy' voice. "Look at all the valuable lessons we've learned! Don't talk to strangers, for one. And practice safe sex, for another. Yes, Ness, I'm looking at you."

Elphaba broke out into a smile and caught Nessa's glare in the rearview mirror. "Yeah, Nessa, you better clean up your act before it's too late."

All the way home, Nessa grumbled under her breath.

Parking in front of the apartment building, Elphaba loaded the bags into Shell's arms and helped Nessa. Through the lobby and into the elevator, Nessa and Elphaba stayed quiet while Shell tried to learn the tune of the elevator music. Once they got to the eighth floor, Elphaba showed them the way to her apartment and made sure they knew the number before she let them in.

"Sorry Shell, but you're going to be on the couch," she rushed before taking Nessa to her room. They could hear Shell's curses through the wall and it gave them a good laugh. Elphaba wasted no time in unpacking Nessa's things. From here on out her life would only work if everything was efficient and fast-paced.

"Thank you so much for this, Elphaba," Nessa said solemnly from her spot on the springy bed.

Elphaba looked up in surprise. Nessa rarely ever thanked her for anything she did. Not that she had to. And she told her that.

"Well, thank you anyway in advance. Shell and I can be a handful."

Thinking for a moment, Elphaba said carefully, "Have you ever told mom and dad that?"

Nessa shook her head and Elphaba left to assist Shell. She found him folding down the blankets on the couch. "How much closet space will you require, sir?"

"My t-shirts like to be hung," Shell said sarcastically.

_You sound like Galinda, _Elphaba almost said, but she caught herself. "You can have the closet by the front. Sorry you got the raw end of the deal."

Shell shrugged. "Nah. Don't worry about it."

Elphaba smiled. "Still, I'll make your favourite dinner tomorrow."

"Cool."

"As soon as you tell me what it is."

Shell's face fell. Elphaba wasn't his mom, she didn't know. "It's alright, you can cook for Nessa."


	18. The Three That Got Away

Elphaba set her alarm fifteen minutes earlier than she had planned so she could make sure everything went smoothly. She debated between eating breakfast first and getting dressed first and opted for the latter, realizing that if she stayed in her pyjamas any longer, she'd want to for life. It also gave Shell some more time before she turned on the kitchen light and woke him up. He had been up late watching the tiny television Elphaba had situated in the corner of his room/the living room.

She threw on her pants and a white shirt after washing her face and brushing her hair. Then she tied her hair half up, so it fell down her back. She remembered Galinda's routine of practicing her smile every morning and laughed at it.

Next, Elphaba helped Nessa up. She waited for ten minutes while Nessa whined about not wanting to go to school because she was so much smarter than everyone else. Elphaba kept glancing at Nessa's phone for time reference and then helped Nessa upright so she could get dressed. With Nessa's uniform on, the next stop was the bathroom.

Then Shell needed waking up. Elphaba shook his shoulders, already frustrated by her sister's reluctance. All he did was pull the blankets over his head and flop onto his other side. Finally, she just tore the blanket off and Shell came down with it.

"Get up!" Elphaba ordered and then went to get breakfast ready. She set two bowls on the table, filled them to the brim with cereal and doused the flakes in milk. Shell began texting instead of eating and Elphaba confiscated his phone. She didn't eat breakfast, but she needed her coffee.

By the time they were ready to leave, Elphaba was already almost late. She piled her siblings into the back and drove off as quickly as she could. A pity, the high school was near their old house. And Elphaba would have to detour to avoid driving by their street.

"Shell, can I use your phone?" Nessa asked.

"No."

"I need to call my friend and ask her about my presentation."

"Too bad, so sad," Shell said cruelly, continuing with his texting.

"You're probably just pretending to text. Who would want to talk to you?" Nessa groaned. "You're so useless."

"How am I useless?" Shell retorted, his morning attitude still in play. "You have your own phone."

"It'll be two seconds, I swear!" Nessa pleaded.

"Nope."

"Please?"

"Nope."

"Oh, for the love of Oz!" Elphaba handed her own phone back to Nessa. "Was that so hard?"

"Yes, it was," Shell said childishly.

Nessa began an argument over the phone with her friend. Elphaba and Shell could hear the annoying, squeaky voice on the other side. This call wasn't lasting two seconds. Finally, Nessa finished. "Elphaba, I forgot to tell you I have a student council meeting after school."

"Oh yeah," Shell piped up, "I've got a basketball game."

"For how long?" Elphaba asked fearfully.

"Until five," they said together.

"Can you skip them?" Elphaba asked, all hesitancy. "I'm not going to have time to get to work."

The sisters could have killed their brother for his pointing-out-the-obviousness when he said, "You're going to work right now."

"This is a really important one for both of us," Nessa said apologetically, even if there was nothing important about the meeting or the game.

Elphaba tried to think about it. "You couldn't have told me earlier?" Then she decided, "Okay, fine, but you have to be right out at five."

Nessa and Shell nodded and then Elphaba's phone started vibrating. "Don't answer that," Elphaba rushed, but their heads were already together, listening in.

"Hello," Nessa said sweetly. An angry voice sounded on the other end.

"She'll be along presently," Shell said, attempting to be Mr. Sophistication.

"How long is presently?" Nessa repeated and then deliberated with Shell. "Maybe about fifteen minutes?"

"There's a ton of traffic," Shell added.

Elphaba pressed her forehead against the steering wheel.

"Has anyone ever told you you sound constantly angry? Maybe you should take up yoga. They say it does wonders for built-up tension and negative emotion," Nessa said. "Bye now." She hung up.

Shell leant forward so he could speak to Elphaba directly. "That was your boss." A touch of sympathy entered his voice. "He said you're fired if you're ever this late again and that you better not screw up his coffee order."

Elphaba bit back her anger and continued driving. By the time she got to their school she was already sick of them and practically kicked them out of the car. As they opened the door of the building she yelled a reminder to come straight out after their activities and sped off to work.

The office was no different than it had been since she started. Elphaba sat down at her desk and began her filing before her boss came up and lectured her. She didn't bother explaining the reason why she was late, even though it might have gotten her some slack. She still had some dignity left. Not much. But some.

Once again, Elphaba skipped her lunch to catch up and once again, no one talked to her all day. It was so physically exhausting that near the end of the day when Elphaba put her head down on her desk she almost fell asleep, but she roused herself and left as soon as she could. Nessa and Shell didn't stay true to their word and were twenty minutes late, putting her in the clutches of another stress attack. When they were both secured by their seatbelts, Elphaba started, "What happened to coming out right away?"

"We told you it was important," Nessa stated easily. "Sorry we were late."

"You're going to be when I'm fired," Elphaba shot back. Nessa pouted and it made her feel guilty. "I'm just not used to this."

"Neither are we," Shell continued. "My back's been aching all day thanks to my wonderful bed."

No one even considered going home an option. "So would you prefer the floor?" Elphaba offered.

"I'll be good."

"Yeah, right." Elphaba pulled into the parking lot and held out the key to Shell. "I don't have time to go in, so here you go. On second thought..." She handed the key to Nessa. "See you later."

"How late is later?" Nessa asked worriedly.

"Nine...closer to ten," Elphaba answered, getting back into the car. "Dinner's in the fridge. Don't let Shell near the stove!"

"Dude! I need homework help!" Shell exclaimed, but she was already driving away.

Elphaba liked working at the restaurant better than the office. She didn't like dealing with the people, but she liked being busy and bustled about knowing that once one order was done it was done. When she arrived at work (again) she took the back entrance and grabbed her apron from the hook she had left it on yesterday.

"You're a bit overdressed," her manager said. Elphaba liked him a lot better than her boss.

"I came right from work." Elphaba didn't explain. "Is it busy?"

"As hell."

With her luck, why did she even bother asking anymore? She took a deep breath and stepped out into the throng of customers waiting to be served. She ran back and forth between the kitchen and the dining room carrying plates, glasses, orders.

By the time she made it home it was after ten and the lamp was on in "Shell's room." Elphaba hung up her jacket and went to see what was happening. Nessa was watching television and Shell was sitting there blankly. He looked up and saw Elphaba. "FINALLY!"

Elphaba crossed the room and sat down on his bed, looking at the open books on the floor and the blank pieces of paper. "Did you even try to do it yourself?" she asked incredulously.

"Shhh!" Nessa interrupted.

"I couldn't concentrate," Shell argued. "Nessa's watching her stupid, addictive teen melodramas."

"It isn't stupid and it's called-"

"Just try the first question. What is this...math? Okay. Just try it." Elphaba started toward the kitchen.

"But dad always gets me started with the first question," Shell explained.

"Wait!" Nessa cried. "You're going?"

"I didn't eat yet, Nessa."

"Every Tuesday mom watches TV with me," Nessa said sadly. She looked at Elphaba with her big, pleading hazel eyes. _Is this the one about the pregnant teens with relationship problems, the attractive doctors with relationship problems or the vampires with relationship problems? _Elphaba thought and stared at both of them blankly, so helpless without their parents.

Elphaba was helpless without them too. "I'll be back."

Not five minutes later Nessa and Shell's voices rose in an argument.

"IF YOU SAY 'YOLO' ONE MORE TIME I'M GOING TO PUSH YOU OUT THE WINDOW!" Nessa cried.

"AND I WOULD ENJOY IT. YOU KNOW WHY? BECAUSE _YOLO_."

Elphaba rushed into the room, her mouth half stuffed with food, and separated them.

"Can you help me now?" Shell asked impatiently after he was done sulking.

Nessa reached for Elphaba. "Wait Elphaba!"

"Ten minutes, please," she begged and ran off before they could call her again. Changing into her classic tank top/sweatpants combination, Elphaba prepared herself as if she were going straight to bed in hopes that she would make it to that point sometime soon. God knows how much time homework with Shell would take.

Of course, when Elphaba sat beside Shell amidst the textbooks, he was arguing with Nessa again. "I've never heard that word in my life."

"Doppelganger?" Nessa repeated. "It means lookalike."

"It's not a freaking word," Shell argued.

"It is!" Nessa retorted.

God, how were Frex and Melena not canonized for dealing with these heathen brats every day? Elphaba pulled Shell to the floor with her, ending the argument. "What don't you get?"

Shell didn't even look at the work. "Everything."

"I need specifics."

"Everything!" Shell threw his hands up in the arm. "I'm failing math!"

Another problem to add to Elphaba's growing garden of troubles. "Okay." She looked at the questions. High school work that she didn't remember at all because it had been complicated by her university courses. She pulled the textbook closer and studied it for a few minutes while Nessa made comments about the stupidity of television these days (which didn't seem to take away from the amount of time she spent watching.)

After doing a thorough job, Elphaba began explaining the lesson to Shell, who nodded and asked questions. When she was finished she handed him the book. "Try the first one."

Shell picked up his pencil, read the question professionally and then looked at Elphaba blankly. He threw down his book and shouted, "CURSE YOU MATH TO THE FIERY BOWELS OF HELL AND BEYOND!"

By this point, Elphaba was positive she was heading for an implosion. She tried explaining it again and then did the first question as an example. Shell still didn't get it. It wasn't until after five questions that Shell exclaimed, "WAIT! SO YOU JUST PUT THIS OVER HERE AND MULTIPLY BY THAT? WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SO?"

Elphaba glanced at the television. Eleven thirty. "Alright Nessa, bed time."

"Finally."

Holding it all in, Elphaba wheeled Nessa out of Shell's room, into her own and helped her get ready. When Nessa was tucked in she checked on Shell, who was passed out on the couch with his homework left unfinished on the floor.

Giving up, Elphaba crawled into her own bed, unsure of how she was supposed to do this every single day.


	19. Lurline's Delivery

The next two weeks passed in exactly the same manner. It was December so the days were cold and it was dark out by five o'clock. Every day Elphaba was late for both her jobs. Every day Nessa and Shell argued on the way to school, on the way back and when Elphaba came home at night. Every day Elphaba had to plan three meals and make sure they were cooked. Every day Elphaba had to help Nessa get ready. Every day she helped Shell with homework. Every day she gave them advice. Every day Elphaba worked her ass off so she could pay for the apartment, the car and the food. Every day she had to keep her siblings occupied.

Elphaba was playing the roles of mom, dad and sister all at once and it was killing her from the inside out. Needless to say, it was a good thing Munchkinland had strict laws against fratricide.

It wasn't until midnight that Elphaba sat down at the kitchen table and tried to force out the sobs that weren't coming. It was so hard living through the veil of pent up frustration, while her "friends" were probably partying at Shiz with worried parents trying to get a hold of them. How nice that must feel. To get seven missed calls from mommy.

At the kitchen table with her phone lying on the counter, Elphaba startled at the sound of vibrations and the light that shone from it. The only people who called her were Nessa and Shell, both of whom were asleep. Unless they had devised away to subconsciously demand things from her.

Elphaba squeezed her eyes shut and answered the phone, preparing to yell at whatever jerk was calling her so late. "Hello." Her voice was lifeless.

"Elphie?" a timid, high-pitched voice whispered.

If she had been in a better mood, Elphaba might not have been so rude. "What do you want, Galinda?"

"I wanted to check on you."

"How thoughtful," Elphaba replied. She wasn't concerned with keeping her voice down. Nessa and Shell were heavy sleepers.

Galinda hyperventilated. "Don't be mean, Elphie. You changed your number."

Elphaba realized that Galinda was right. She had gotten a new phone after she left Shiz. "So how did you get this one?"

"I called your mum." Galinda sighed. "Oh, Elphie. She told me everything. She sounds so lonely and so do you. I just got back from a party. Pfannee said something about you and I remembered." She stopped herself short, but then decided to admit the whole truth. "I was so mad at you for leaving and I just forgot. Did you really take in your siblings?"

"Maybe."

"I wish you'd give me more than that," Galinda begged. "I'm so sorry."

"Did my mom ask you to pump me for information?" Elphaba asked knowingly. Galinda hesitated and she knew she was right.

"...yes...but I wanted to know too."

"Tell her Nessa and Shell are fine," Elphaba instructed carefully.

Galinda waited for more, but nothing came. "And you?"

"There's nothing wrong with me."

"We were best friends at one point." She paused, but still no reply. "Do you want to know anything about what it's like here?" She answered anyway. "Morrible was so pissed. She cracked down really hard. Avaric and I just threw a party at the OzDust. Fiyero's still part of our group...but he's given up on party throwing. He's not as funny anymore. He's always thinking. We're all graduating this year. We all miss you."

"I was supposed to be graduating," Elphaba said wistfully, more to herself than Galinda. "If I didn't drop out, none of this would have happened. That was the worst fucking move I ever made."

"That's not true, Elphie. Why are you always blaming yourself?" Galinda didn't wait for the lecture. "Do you have any plans for Lurlinemas?"

Elphaba hadn't even realized it was Lurlinemas in a few days. She was too busy imagining what it was like to breathe in Galinda's nail polish fumes and participate in impromptu snowball fights. "I'll just be here."

"Good," Galinda decided. "I'll call you soon, 'kay?"

Miraculously, Elphaba found the spare time and money to buy gifts for Nessa and Shell. She told them that she wasn't accepting gifts, so if they tried to give her one she'd be giving it to the alternate sibling. That was a punishment not worth risking.

Unfortunately, Elphaba was working on Lurlinemas Eve and didn't get home until past eleven. She hoped that now that all the students were home, she wouldn't see any Munchkinlanders she knew. Particularly of the bitch variety.

She was turning the key in the lock and pressed her ear against the door, certain that she had heard voices that didn't belong to Nessa and Shell. Opening up, Elphaba didn't bother hanging her coat, but went right to Shell's room. Four people sat there. Nessa, Shell...Galinda and Fiyero.

"HAPPY LURLINEMAS, ELPHIE!" Galinda squealed and threw her arms around her friend.

Elphaba glanced at Fiyero helplessly. He shrugged. "Galinda can be a genius sometimes." Shell and Nessa laughed, feeling as relieved as Elphaba looked.

Galinda stood back and cupped Elphaba's face in her hands. "You look exhausted!" She pulled Elphaba onto the couch. "Sit and we'll do the talking." She exchanged a look with Fiyero and he started.

"I hope you don't mind that Galinda told me everything she knew." He smiled and it made Elphaba dizzy. "I still had Shell's number and he told us where you lived...wow...that sounds stalkerish, doesn't it?"

Galinda took up the story. "So we decided, we're getting older, we don't need to go to family Lurlinemas dinners every single year. Why not celebrate here? But then we had an even better idea!"

"What if we gave you a break?" Fiyero offered. "I'll take Shell and Galinda will take Nessa."

"We're becoming thinkers." Galinda laughed in her cute, pitchy giggle. "I hope you like the way we thunk it out."

Elphaba wrapped her arms around Galinda. "I really missed your thunking." Galinda rested her head on Elphie's shoulder.

"I feel as though my thunking's been underappreciated," Fiyero muttered. Galinda laughed and invited him over, but Shell jumped in first and usurped the group hug.

"Now it's just a matter of how fast you want us out," Fiyero stated sullenly from his hugless side of the room. He caught Elphaba's eye and winked at her.

A mischievous look took control of her eyes. "ASAP."

Galinda jumped up. "It's settled then!" She moved behind Nessa. "We'll see you tomorrow for dinner, Elphie. I'll call you and tell you where." She disappeared into Nessa's room to get the bags she had already packed and left with Nessa at her heels.

"I don't even know where she's taking my sister," Elphaba realized.

"It's okay," Fiyero said cheerfully. "You can trust us."

Elphaba faced him. "I don't know. Can I?"

Shell seemed to sense the tension. Backing away slowly, he muttered, "I'm going to go- uh- see what's new in the bathroom."

Fiyero took one step closer, but Elphaba moved backwards. "I told you I'd make it up to you."

"Going along with one of Galinda's schemes is not exactly making it up to me, Fiyero."

"What is then?" he asked, willing her to give him an answer that was within his reach. The months he had spent away from her had killed him. He missed her friendship...and her tutoring, but mostly the first one.

"I told you, you don't need to make it up to me." Elphaba busied herself with clearing up the remainder of Shell's loose worksheets. "You stole my dignity and virginity and then left me for dead while your friends tore me apart, but I'm okay. Really." She smiled at him.

He cringed. "Was I really that much of an asshole?"

"Yeah." She bit her lip. "But I wasn't that great about it either."

"I'm really sorry all this happened to you." Fiyero tried moving closer again and this time got close enough to embrace her.

"That is the most annoying thing anyone could possibly say," Elphaba mumbled into his shoulder.

What Elphaba didn't tell her friends was that she took advantage of her day off by taking a double shift at the restaurant, at double the pay, which was an excellent contribution towards her rent. At five o'clock, Galinda texted her the address she was to meet them at. She changed into the nicest skirt she owned and applied a touch of makeup.

Galinda, Fiyero, Nessa and Shell were already at a table. Elphaba slipped into the booth beside Shell and easily joined the conversation. They ate and talked until a irritating, nasally voice behind them made them stop. Elphaba shuddered.

"Well, if it isn't our favourite dropout."

"Is it Melena Thropp in the flesh? I'm honoured."

"I guess that makes it our _second_ favourite dropout."

Nessa and Shell's jaws dropped, but Elphaba shot them a warning glance. She turned around. "Pfannee. Milla. Shouldn't you be with your _lovely_ families?"

"We're getting too old to be spending a _happy_ Lurlinemas with mommy and daddy, aren't we Elphaba?" Milla pretended she said something she hadn't meant to and covered her lips. "Whoops. Too soon?"

"That's it," Shell decided and started pushing himself up, but Elphaba forced him back down and turned him around.

"My uncle said you were working at his office," Milla continued.

"My aunt's friend said you were working at her restaurant," Pfannee concluded. "You must be such a busy person."

Milla turned to face Pfannee as if they were the only ones at the table. "Pfannee, who has more dignity? The struggling single mother working two jobs or the drunken housewife?"

Galinda gasped. "Elphie, you have_ two_ jobs?"

"We'll be on our way now. It's going to take time to mull that one over," Milla decided, pulling Pfannee away. "Maybe you can come watch us graduate." But she stopped and surveyed Nessa. "You're Nessarose! The one that could have been a Shizian? What a shame your sister doesn't want to embarrass herself having you around." She waved. "See you soon, Galinda; Fiyero."

Shell was still seething. "Is that what everyone's like at Shiz?"

"That's what everyone's like in the real world," Elphaba muttered.

Everyone was surprised when Nessa proved herself to be the voice of reason. She let out a high, joyous peal of laughter. "Stupid people say a lot of stupid things."

Shell looked like he was going to cry upon hearing the words. Among many things, namely his bed, Melena's mantra was one of the things he missed most.

Elphaba sighed. "We should go." She pulled out her wallet.

"Don't even think about it, Elphie." Galinda snapped her fingers and Fiyero dropped a few bills on the cheque. "This was our treat."

Not bothering to protest, Elphaba asked, "How much longer are you around?"

"I'm leaving tonight," Galinda said apologetically. "Av and I are doing the bash again."

"Of course," Elphaba mouthed.

"I'm here for a few more days," Fiyero offered. "Can I drop by tomorrow?"

"I won't be home."

He high-fived Shell. "I'll come see Shell then."

Elphaba nodded absentmindedly and waited until they were all out of sight before she threw her arms around Galinda again."Are you sure you're okay?" the blonde inquired, a crease forming between her brows. Elphaba nodded again and Galinda pulled her in tighter. "Fiyero's actually really helpful when he wants to be," she offered, stepping back. "Take advantage of it while you can." She hugged Elphaba again and was off. Through the window, Elphaba saw her signalling a taxi.

Slipping on her coat, Elphaba walked out into the freezing air and observed Fiyero with Nessa and Shell. He seemed to catch their attention really well. He helped Nessa into the car and then joked around with Shell until Elphaba was ready to go. Maybe she _could_ take advantage of that.

Fiyero met her on the other side of the vehicle and opened the door for her, but before she got in, he trapped her with his arms on either side and whispered, "I'll make things better."

Elphaba couldn't deny the rush of hope that gave her.

Later that night, Nessa, Shell and Elphaba were curled up together in Shell's room watching old cartoon Lurlinemas specials. Although they were extremely tired and incredibly comfy, all of them had trouble falling asleep. There was one burning question on all of their minds that no one voiced until Nessa gathered up enough courage to.

"What do you think mom and dad are doing right now?"


	20. Family Guy

**A/N: 'tis the season for uniform kilts and the constant misplacing of pens! A moment of silence for the good trees that gave their lives to teach your author irregular French verbs, shading techniques and the theory of evolution. At least I have the comfort of knowing that there's someone worse off academically than I am. Good for you, Shell, for taking it all in stride!**

* * *

><p>The next few months passed much the same as the weeks before Lurlinemas had. Sometimes Galinda called Elphaba and fill her in on life at Shiz, but it didn't mean much as Elphaba had no idea what she was talking about.<p>

January lapsed cold, meaningless and marked by blizzards. Especially New Year's when Shell insisted they stay up, despite being overly tired.

February brought Nessa's eighteenth birthday which they celebrated with cake and presents, including one from their grandparents. Frex mailed a package to the apartment that contained gorgeous ruby slippers that Nessa refused to take off from then on. He included a lovely, reassuring note to her. Melena didn't send any word. On the brightside, Shell learnt that February was spelt with an 'r'.

March heralded the closeting of coats and the slow emergence of sweaters. Shell and Nessa continued their bickering and Elphaba snapped a few times. As a result, Shell began drifting and his grades plummeted.

April was when Shell began building his confidence. So much so that Elphaba banned the bringing home of girlfriends to her apartment. She had to set her alarm half an hour earlier than it had been, just so she would have room to allow herself to wake up in the morning.

May brought the sun, but not without the clouds. Nessa began to get more demanding, feeling that she was on the receiving end of less attention than Shell, who spent half his time being lectured. The bickering between the two and sometimes Elphaba escalated to biting arguments where at least one person would end up mad for days.

June. Galinda and Fiyero invited Elphaba to their graduation, but she declined. Nessa graduated high school top of her class and prepared herself for Munchkinland University, which she would be starting in September. Shell needed to enrol in summer school, having failed math. Elphaba called Nanny to hear any news. Nanny informed her that Sophelia was trying desperately to reconcile Melena with their mother now that Frex was gone, but both parties refused to cooperate. Then Elphaba debated calling Frex, but when she slid Nessa's shoes onto her feet that morning, the debate was lost.

Then, quicker than any creeping bout of depression or onset of sadness, it all changed.

Whoever was at the door knew enough about Elphaba's schedule to come before she left for work. It was morning, so she wasn't making any effort to put on a smile. On top of that, she hoped the caller would like the half professional/half pyjama look she was currently rocking.

In the other room Elphaba could hear Shell's groans as she flipped on the light. A part of her relished the fact that he would have summer school all day and she knew Nessa loved it too.

Elphaba opened the door a crack, peeked out and then threw it open in surprise. "YOU!" By now, Nessa was also grumbling from the other room.

Fiyero stood there, uncomfortably, although it was hard to tell. He was just that open. But he was _there_. Both Elphaba and himself found that profoundly confusing. He grinned at her happily and it reached his eyes. There was hardly ever a moment when his eyes weren't smiling, Elphaba remembered that much clearly. She also remembered him being the epitome of casual...and he was wearing a suit.

"What are you doing here?"

"In all honesty, I don't even know," Fiyero admitted, but he was still wearing his grin. And damn, he was wearing it well.

"Well..." Pre-caffeinated Elphaba struggled to think coherently. "For a start, why are you in Munchkinland?"

"On business," Fiyero answered.

"You're working?" Elphaba responded in disbelief before she could stop herself, her eyebrows raised beyond their usual sarcastic level.

Fiyero laughed. "Everyone always has that reaction." He rubbed the back of his neck. "After graduation Galinda, Av and I moved to the city. Let me tell you, that girl can _nag_. Apparently Shiz graduates are in high demand."

Elphaba's face fell.

"I didn't mean it that way," he rushed, even though he didn't know what other way he could have meant. "Anyway, I just came by to see if you needed any help with, you know, anything."

Nessa and Shell were both demanding their sister's help and Elphaba snuck a peek the time. "And look at that! I'm running late." She looked at him sincerely, which was quite the challenge. "It was really nice of you to come by, maybe next time you're in town I won't be as tied up." As an afterthought she muttered, "Although I seriously doubt it." She started to close the door, but he forced it back open.

"Is there anything I can help you with?"

"You can lose the insincerity and stop delaying me," was the flippant reply.

Fiyero pushed into the apartment, unaffected. "What's your schedule today?"

"Shell needs to get ready for school, Nessa needs to be dropped off at a friend's house, dinner, homework help and keeping them busy. It's like caring for six year olds," Elphaba confessed.

A thoughtful look. (Very uncharacteristic from Elphaba's angle.) "I could do that for you."

"I'm not asking you to."

Facing her, Fiyero was still smiling, but his eyes were serious. "I'm offering."

Elphaba cocked a hip to the side and her hands rested accordingly. "So not only will you interfere with my schedule, but you'll completely abandon yours?" She started off towards the kitchen, waving her index finger around and mimicking something, which came off as the mutated crossover of Frex and Madame Morrible. (Both of whom she missed dearly.) "Responsibility, Mister Tigelaar, responsibility!"

"What I meant by business was a two hour meeting at noon, nothing's interfering," Fiyero reassured, trying to keep up. "I'm just here to catch up with some old friends, who are coincidentally in need of a babysitter."

"Can we do this another time?"

"That depends." Fiyero shrugged. "How much longer do you think you can last like this?"

The question struck home and Elphaba stopped fiddling with cereal boxes. "You stick around if you want. I really need to get ready."

Accomplishment mixed itself with a touch of arrogance across Fiyero's expression. "What time does Shell have to be at school?"

Elphaba looked up at him from beneath her eyelashes before returning to her room. "Nine." In hindsight, she turned her head and added, "I'm trusting you."

"About time."

The thing was, even though Elphaba told Fiyero she trusted him, she really didn't. All day she felt as though she had made a huge mistake in leaving her siblings, but when she called Nessa halfway through everything seemed okay. However, Nessa seemed to have mastered the art of curtness.

Untypically, Elphaba fell behind in her filing and rushed her words when she answered the phone because she was so eager for the day to go by faster. Finally there was a change up in her routine and the routine seemed to be moving at the pace of a turtle.

Six o'clock, seven o'clock, eight o'clock, eight-oh-one. Elphaba dragged her feet through the rest of her shift and bolted as soon as it was over. It wasn't until she was sitting in traffic that she realized Fiyero might not have waited and her hopes took a nosedive.

Pausing outside the door, Elphaba was certain she heard laughter coming from Nessa and Shell. Something that had been missing for months without a parental figure so ridiculous they couldn't help the bubbling giggles. She cautiously opened the door.

"Don't worry, Elphie. We all survived!" Fiyero called from his spot on the couch. "Impressed?"

Not bothering to remove her cardigan or her shoes, Elphaba stood blankly in the entrance to Shell's room. "I won't pretend I'm not," she admitted.

"Well, I'm like the sun," Fiyero started, "wherever I shine hope blossoms-"

"Wow," Nessa interrupted, turning her attention away from the television so he could see her revulsion, "that was _so lame_."

"You only lame once," Shell threw in.

Shaking his head, Fiyero scolded, "The term you were looking for was poetic. My wordy instinct sensed it."

Meanwhile, Shell was rocking his head back and forth like a bobblehead figure. "Mr Sun, sun, Mr Golden Sun, please shine down on me!" he sang, knowing full well he had no voice related talents.

"Would you read my poems?" Fiyero asked Elphaba.

"Elphaba doesn't read anymore," Nessa stated.

Crossing her arms, Elphaba retorted, "That's because I spend so much time slaving over the microwave." She turned to Fiyero. "Would you like to stay for dinner? Fresh from the freezer."

"It's okay, we ate already," Nessa answered.

Fiyero shot Elphaba a pointed look. He could still sense her disbelief. And it was inspiring. "I cooked."

"By that he means he ordered the pizza," Shell explained, "...even though there were complications with inferior knowledge of toppings." He shot a look at Fiyero. "Who puts pineapple on pizza?"

"I'm telling you, Vinkuns put pineapple on everything," Fiyero explained. "We'd wear the stuff if it were socially acceptable."

"In that case-" Elphaba looked around for the textbooks that were usually scattered across the floor. "Oh wait, don't tell me. The Sun beamed rays of blissful idiocy into your vacant head."

"Fiyero helped me," Shell replied, not catching on. "Mr Golden Sun, please shine down on me!"

"Okay, everyone," Nessa said impatiently, "park your butts or conduct your pagan sun worshiping elsewhere."

Preferring to "park her butt" rather than suffer the embarrassment of showing Fiyero some kind of gratitude, which she knew would be due eventually, Elphaba took a seat on the arm of the couch. Fiyero slouched to get comfortable and whispered casually, "How was your day?"

"Cloudy with a chance of eye rolling," Elphaba said suspiciously. "Why?"

"I was just curious," Fiyero said slowly, stroking his chin. "You've never been asked that before?"

Elphaba blushed. "Obviously not."

"It's a good thing there's a first for everything," he decided. Elphaba flushed brighter and subconsciously edged closer to him, making plans to contact a therapist on account of hallucinations before Melena picked the lock on the front door and joined the party.

"Ahem," Shell interrupted, "we're going to have to wait for the canoodling to stop." Elphaba and Fiyero hadn't noticed their audience.

Nessa narrowed her eyes. "Where do you get your vocabulary from?"

After successfully subduing an argument, Fiyero slid over so Elphaba could squeeze in beside him. The tension in the leg pressed against his and the disturbing warmth hovering in the atmosphere around them coaxed him to slip an arm around her shoulders. She didn't shrug it off.

They continued watching television until they were nearly asleep sitting upright. Elphaba helped Nessa into bed and allowed Shell to use the bathroom first. She waited at the kitchen table, drumming her fingers. Fiyero was behind her, leaning against the counter. She could almost picture the perfect outline of his figure and the maddening grin on his face. Only now was she regretting his intrusion on her family life.

Maybe the late hour was getting to him too and he sat down beside Elphaba. "You're the most insane person I've ever met."

Elphaba snorted, regret amplified a thousand times beyond its original size. "Thanks."

"I don't know anyone who could pull through this the way you do."

"Pull through?" Elphaba scoffed, forcing all of her frustration through the tiny doorway of her lips. "I've been stuck in the same rut for months."

"I can tell when my hand is needed." Fiyero reached out and placed his hand over hers.

Looking down at the hand so many things happened. She felt absurd, ashamed and completely attracted. "But you're leaving soon."

"Not tonight."

Elphaba nodded in understanding and showed him to her room. By inviting himself, he was trapped and she wasn't going to let him go until she had to. When Shell was asleep, Elphaba went to the bathroom to change. Fiyero slipped his shirt over his head and lay down beside her after her return.

They were too tired to feel the sensuality of the moment, which converted the soft lullaby of gentle pulses, shallow breaths and sliding blankets into something sweeter. It wasn't until now that Elphaba realized falling asleep in someone's arms was probably her favourite feeling in the universe.


	21. The Sun God

Eyes fluttering open, Elphaba realized that there was no alarm clock pestering her and no one demanding her help. She bolted upright and reached for her phone. There was sunlight shining in from under the door. That was never a good sign.

"Looking for this?"

Elphaba fell off her bed when Fiyero sat up waving her phone in front of her face. She would have slapped him for laughing at her, but she was overwhelmed.

Translating the trance-like facial expression, Fiyero concluded, "You forgot about me." He faked a sniffle. "Well, I'll just show myself out then."

"Could you tell me what time it is first?"

"Around ten thirty," he answered casually, forgetting to continue his act.

With recordbreaking speed, Elphaba shot up and began pulling things out of her closet. Fiyero dodged a flying cardigan. "Wouldn't it make more sense to take mental health day?"

"That's dishonest."

Fiyero nodded thoughtfully and waved his index finger towards the closet turned disaster zone. "That reminded me of when Boq had that breakdown during exams."

"I trust you can make it down the stairs safely?"

"Meanwhile, Avaric had the same exams and didn't bat a ginger eyelash."

"I'd rather be a Boq than an Avaric," Elphaba retorted, preferring to argue than get ready.

"But we all know that Avaric's going to be more successful. He'll probably land a cushiony job working for your brother. Boq's going to be marooned on a farm somewhere with seven kids and suicidal wife."

"That's not fair."

"That's _life_."

Elphaba didn't look amused. She inhaled deeply and felt the tension in her lungs. "So what? You're a teacher now?"

"_Please_." Fiyero snorted. "I actually _know_ what I'm talking about." He patted the space beside him.

Taking her time settling on the mattress, Elphaba bunched the sheets around herself. She glanced at her clock and shuddered. "This feels dirty."

"Oh no. I'm corrupting your innocence!"

Pushing a pillow up against the wall, leaning against it and crossing her legs, Elphaba smiled. "When I was two my mom and I used to sit in the backyard and she would tell me about her sex life." She looked around, guilt narrowing her eyes. "Speaking of pretend innocence...where are the kids?"

"Shell thought it would be cool to take the bus for the first time, so he tried it and called me for directions. Let me just say that _thank God_ Nessa was there to remind me that I wasn't a native Munchkin."

Elphaba looked like she was going to faint. She shoved him in the shoulder as hard as she could. "WHY DIDN'T YOU WAKE ME UP YOU FUC-"

"So I suggested we call your mom since she's like the princess of this godforsaken dwarf town." He let out a long whistle. "Holy mother of reincarnated Kumbricia. Who made it a sin to call their parents for directions? I swear Nessa had a murderous glint in her eye."

The rigidity in her muscles just kept on building. "Is Nessa in her room?"

"Nah. She went to the library."

"ALONE?"

"She's _eighteen_." In Elphaba's eye was a replica of the dangerous twinkle that had been in Nessa's, but Fiyero didn't see what he had done wrong. "I don't get it." He shook his head. "You guys were so normal."

"It's not hard to get," Elphaba almost yelled. "I've got to manage until mom and dad can get their shit together. And when you waltz right in here with your happy grin and your stupid white pants that went out of style before they were designed and think it's perfectly fine to send my siblings out around town on their own-"

Snapping his fingers, Fiyero muttered, "Don't get mad. But I'm feeling this pressure in my head and I think it's a thought." He paused and then continued, "Nessa and Shell really look up to you, so when you freak out over everything, they're going to copy you. And when you're afraid of everything, they're going to be too. And when you refuse to fix things with your parents, they're going to refuse."

"Are you kidding? We'll be lucky if we can convince Nessa to show up at their funerals."

"Which makes things near impossible for Shell. He's obligated to all four of you."

There was an uncomfortable bout of silence and all Elphaba could do was squirm in her spot. "How the hell do you know all of this?"

"Psychic."

"Code for 'Nessa and Shell told me everything.'" She watched him, leaning back with his legs spread out in front of him and her phone in his lap. "So what do you think?"

He shrugged. "I don't think it matters. I mean, if I was raised by a pack of wolves, I'd be more wolf than man. It's all about you five. Or six, if you count Nanny. Seven with Aunt Sophelia. And eight with me." She began to protest, but he clamped her lips closed. "Nuh uh. I was initiated by Nanny."

She smiled slightly and then it faded. "You have to go soon, don't you?"

"I don't want to."

Elphaba's eyes were trained downward and she traced the lining of the blue quilt to where his hand was resting at his side. Before he knew it she was reaching up to wipe her eyes with her sleeve. "I don't know where to go anymore. Shell's dad doesn't want to see me, so I thought I could go to Nanny, but my grandparents don't want to see me. My mother hates me. Then I realize all over again that I'm the outsider of the family. I could become a hermit in a Vinkun cave and no would notice."

"We do offer luxury caves. Two bed, one bath. Breakfast in the morning..." Never before had Fiyero felt so helpless. He didn't know what else to say for fear of risking resemblance of one of those funeral guests whose condolences float high above the gravity of loss or the jerk who forgot a birthday and only wished the best because everyone else was. Squeezing her hand as tightly as he could, he blurted, "I want to move in with you."

She retreated slightly. "No, you can't-"

Fiyero placed a finger over her lips. "If I move in, I can pay half the rent and you can quit one of your jobs. I'll transfer and work around here. It'll be easier on Nessa and Shell because they'll have the attention they need and you'll have time for you again. You can remember how to read."

Feeling ridiculous, Elphaba made quick work of drying her eyes and then stared at the wet marks on the fringe of her sleeve. "I've never seen my mother cry. I don't know how she does it."

"That doesn't necessarily entail strength, Elphaba."

Meeting his eyes, Elphaba had to swallow her desires. "Fiyero, you're too good for a place like this."

He appeared slightly hurt. "I thought you wanted me around."

"I do, but-"

"So then what's the point of pushing me away?"

Pushing the covers towards the end of the bed with her feet, Elphaba swung her legs down. "Why do you care so much?"

"Because I do." He pulled her back, bringing her closer than she had been before. "All you have to say is 'welcome to the family.'"

The repulsion Elphaba felt towards the phrase was surprising. Maybe she didn't want to drag Fiyero into the mess or maybe some part of her was still reluctant to let him in, but she said it anyway, completely convinced that it was entirely for Nessa and Shell's sake.

After that they spent the day lounging in bed as if Fiyero had always been around. He didn't return Elphaba's phone and picked out a book for her to read instead, while he watched. Her hair was tangled and there were circles underneath her eyes, not to mention the hole at the hem of her shirt, but he couldn't stop staring. When she noticed, colour flooded her cheeks and she'd purposely look away, which egged him on.

Prepared to comment, Elphaba stopped and looked at the drawer beside her bed. "I think someone's calling." She lunged for the phone, but Fiyero blocked her and picked it up himself.

"Yell-o?" He continued with a few 'uh huhs' and 'mhms' and then hung up. "Nessa wants to come home. Do you want to come pick her up with me?"

They picked up Nessa, who was delighted to see Elphaba with Fiyero and then drove to Shell's school to pick him up. When everyone was piled into the car, Fiyero said, "Get ready to get all excited everyone. Okay? I've moved in!"

Nessa and Shell exchanged a look and stayed silent.

"Let's try that again." Fiyero cleared his throat. "Fiyero's living with you! Yay!" He waved his hands around, trying to spread the enthusiasm.

"We totally saw this coming," Nessa said, wrinkling her nose. "You're insulting our intelligence."

"So what does that make you now?" Shell inquired.

Nessa pursed her lips in thought. "Well, he can't be a dad. We already have too many of those. And he can't be an uncle because Aunt Sophelia's perpetually single."

"Like you," Shell chimed and Nessa slapped him. Was there ever a car ride when Shell didn't end up with a red welt on his face?

"You're one to talk!" she shrieked. "The only way anyone's ever going to touch you is if you force them."

"And how would I do that?"

"I don't know. Drugs...alcohol...all the real dictators do it." Suddenly a sly look came over Nessa. "I know! Fiyero's our boyfriend-in-law!"

"Slow down there, Nessa," Elphaba rushed.

"What? You two obviously get along very well," she defended innocently.

"Watching you two is like watching a chemistry lesson." Shell hit Fiyero's arm. "There you go man, pick up line right there."

"We'll innocently ignore the fact that I failed chemistry in high school," Fiyero muttered and then raised his voice a touch. "All in favour of going out for dinner so Fiyero doesn't get taunted for inferior knowledge of pizza toppings?"

Thirty minutes later found the Thropps and the Vinkun sitting around a cluttered table that was conveniently separated from the other restaurant patrons, actively listening to an anecdote of Shell's. "So I asked my teacher why education brings so much misery if it's so good for us and she freaked out at me," he told them as if it was a life-changing moment. On any other occasion it would have been an interesting tale, but with Fiyero and Elphaba's day of beautiful nothingness it was lame in comparison.

"Maybe because education brings in her paycheques. What kind of person wouldn't want to rake in the dough for ruining lives?" Nessa pointed out, twirling ropes of spaghetti around her fork. On top of having numerous allergies, she was also a picky eater.

"There are teachers that freak out over anything though," Fiyero defended. "Morrible was terrifying."

"She wasn't that bad," Elphaba countered.

Fiyero turned to Nessa and Shell. "The wicked witch of the rez."

"It's a good thing I'm not going to Shiz then," Nessa decided, glancing at her sister for approval.

"You're going to university?" Fiyero exclaimed and pretended to wipe away a tear. "I remember when you were just a little overachieving sophomore."

"And I remember when Fiyero was just a cocky prince, who couldn't get enough of himself." Shell looked at Fiyero. "Not much has changed."

Elphaba took a sip of her water. "Says the boy who sucked his thumb until he was eleven."

Nessa shrugged. "By the third, parents are really too tired to intervene."

"Or they have other brats to deal with." Shell stared down at his plate nonchalantly and then turned up to find Nessa burning red. "Oh, hi Ness, how are you this fine evening?"

"I'm finished," Nessa decided suddenly, pushing her half eaten dinner away from her.

Reaching for the plate, Fiyero winced as Elphaba slapped his hand away. "A big, strong man has a big, strong appetite," he argued, taking the plate.

Shell laughed and scanned the restaurant. "What big, strong man?"

A pout docked the age of Fiyero's face a few years. "Your puny Munchkin strength is no match for my Vinkun muscle." In response, Nessa pinched Fiyero as hard as she could and he recoiled. "Ow! Elphaba, Nessa pinched me!"

Shell pinched Nessa and winked at Fiyero. Elphaba noticed and slapped Fiyero's arm where Nessa had pinched it.

"So now we're against both Thropp sisters." Fiyero stroked his chin. "Shell, this calls for desperate measures."

"I'll get the house," Shell offered.

"I'll get the water," Fiyero finished.

That night when everyone was sitting in Shell's room, Fiyero casually rose from his spot and disappeared into the kitchen. He returned holding a box behind his back. "The first change I'm making to this household is the reinstitution of Monozpoly night."

Shell jumped off the couch and landed on his knees, fists in the air. "FIYERO TIGELAAR, YOU ARE MY SUN GOD!"

Fiyero set the box on the carpet and passed the money up to Nessa, who had always proved an honest banker. Although, there really wasn't any hardcore proof on that.

The game was so intense that everyone stayed absolutely silent except for the opportune property dispute. Eventually, Elphaba got impatient and forfeited. She threw half of her money into Shell's pile and the other into Nessa's. Soon enough Fiyero met his end too and it was left to Nessa and Shell. They continued for an hour until Shell lost and refused to admit it. He looked as if he was about to cry.

"Change happens. Embrace it," Elphaba said apathetically.

"Aw," said Fiyero apologetically, "does Shell need a hug?" Without waiting for an answer, he dove over the game board and tackled Shell into a hug, then sat up to include Nessa as well. Elphaba watched the scene, but remained lost in thought.


	22. Sappy Holidays

**A/N: Happy Thanksgiving, Witches and Gentlekins! There's nothing like being left home alone with the pies and early greetings from people in different countries. What are you grateful for? I'm grateful for a solid year of fanfictioning with amazing readers, the Thropp family and the Charlie Brown football gag. And I'd like to call attention to the remarkable amount of growing Nessa has done- earning her the Favourite Character of the Chapter Award.**

* * *

><p>"From the dawn of time, the Ozian has recognized the need for a break- even Lurline took a day of rest- and slowly but surely these seeds of laziness sprouted into tangible interruptions. The Monday morning coffee break, the after school snackage, the round-the-water-cooler gossip session, the nonchalant checking of the phone, the even more subtle office chair lean back and subsequent fall, the guilty pleasure chocolate bar and the private country music addiction...<p>

No, we are not slothful. We're human. Hardworking people who are ashamed of their idle roots merely exist to make us feel terrible. _I saw that Elphaba._ But soon enough we found that water-induced lies, cookies drowned in milk and songs written by Ugaban hillbillies were not enough to fill the void. So man introduced the concept of the holiday. _The holiday._ Superhero to those plagued by malfunctioning computers and insufferable coworkers who like to talk about their kids.

Lurlinemas when all of Oz lies to youth out of love. Prowd's Day when chocolates are sold for couples and eaten by the loveless. _Shut up, Nessa. I didn't point at you._ _I was scratching an itch. _Kumbricia's Eve when it's socially acceptable to look like Elphaba. Vinkun New Year to inflate Fiyero's ego a little more. Munchkin Independence Day when celebrities pretend they know the words to the anthem. And all the ones that I'll act like I know the meaning of, but conveniently decided not to elaborate on.

The point is that, as commercially corrupt as they might have become, the core of laziness is still there. And what does laziness do? It brings people together. So, as we sit down for this wonderful Harvest Day dinner that Elphaba ordered from the restaurant down the street, let's remember the three F's. Food, fun and Fiyero."

Shell gave a little bow and sat down primly in his seat at the head of the table.

"Very insightful," Fiyero praised. "That last sentence was especially poignant."

"Too bad I don't want to be emperor anymore," Shell said through forkfuls of mashed potatoes. Miraculously, he had room enough to pour in some gravy.

Nessa set her fork and knife against her plate. "Tell the pseudo-parents what your new dream is."

Shell nodded, holding up a hand to indicate this one was too important to be uttered through his meal. He swallowed, ran his tongue over his teeth and folded his hands on the table. "I'm God."

Fiyero laughed. "You scared me. I thought this was going to be something serious."

"I am serious!" Shell whined. "Nine generations back the Thropp line was Gillikinese and directly related to the House of Ozma, which is directly related to Lurline. The Fairy Queen and I are like this." He wrapped his middle finger around his index. "And Frex's family has been bishops since cavemen were thunking each other's heads with wood."

"That would make Elphaba and I equally as godly!" Nessa snapped.

"Nice try, Little Miss Quachkin. I'm sure there's a lot of love in that pagan heart of turtle-"

Fiyero used his knife as a lever and aimed a hunk of turkey at Shell's forehead. "I have no idea how that happened."

"It's true," Elphaba supplied. "He's never passed a science test."

"Never," Fiyero vowed.

Shell wasn't deterred in the slightest. "Did you know Shell is short for Sheltergod?"

Nessa turned red. "Or Bullsh-"

"Everyone knows holidays aren't about religion," Elphaba intervened, throwing her arms out on either side of her to stop impending knives in their tracks. Shell and Nessa knew better than to slice the hand that cut the crusts off their sandwiches.

Fiyero, on the other hand, employed the use of his handy-dandy lever again and lumps of potato were smeared across Elphaba's face. He raised an eyebrow. "New foundation?"

Elphaba's glass of cherry cola soaked through Fiyero's shirt and she set it down on the table with a shameless bang. "I like that cologne, Fiyero." He reached across the table for the bowl of salad, but she grabbed the gravy and took off before he could launch it. Shell and Nessa sat motionless as he flattened himself against the wall and rounded the corner in anticipation of an attack.

Shell wrinkled his nose. "Not sure if actual argument or uncomfortable sex game."

Nessa winced as Elphaba's shrill laugh reverberated through the house followed by Fiyero's battle cry. "Mom's bed may have been open to strangers, but at least she was polite at the dinner table."

"When in Oz, do as the witches do." Shell threw his chair back and skirted the table on his way to claim a basket of rolls, but ended up slipping in the puddle of pop left by Elphaba's first offense.

A smile surfaced as Nessa stared at Shell, lying prostrate on the floor with his arms and legs sprawled out as wide as they could go. He stared at the ceiling. "I think I broke my butt."

The smile blossomed into laughter and Nessa was gripping the arm of her wheelchair so she wouldn't topple off and join her brother in his fizzy despair. Shell must have missed an 'F' in the finale of his speech. Fools.

* * *

><p>For the most part, the balcony that overlooked the city of Rush Margins went unused, but it did make a cozy spot on Independence Day- the day coined by the Thropp family to mask the tyrannical chain of dictators, adulterers, addicts and emotionally unstable leaders that had been ruling since the inauspicious family had conquered the province.<p>

Elphaba built up a layer of blankets and pillows (one of which Fiyero accidentally knocked through the bars and down a bunch of stories) and stocked up on junk food for the event. Nessa wore her orange gooseball jersey to showcase her pride for the Munchkinland Guilders. Fiyero earned a few glares by his blatant sporting of a Vinkun Villains' toque.

"Who's going to root for a villain anyway?" Shell demanded, swiping at Fiyero's hat.

"There are two sides to every story, Mister Protagonist," Fiyero shot back, hiding behind Elphaba for the sake of headwear security. "Who's going to root for a team with a lollipop for a mascot?"

Nessa exhaled incredulously. "All of Munchkinland, dude."

"Can they see over the heads of other fans?"

"WHOA-HO-HO! CHEAP SHOT TIGELAAR STRIKES AGAIN!" Shell jumped up and Elphaba grabbed his ankle to keep him from falling over the railing of the balcony.

"Fiyero, we _will_ deport you," she threatened.

But the train was going too quickly to be stopped. Fiyero gestured around wildly. "I know, for a _fact_, that your aunt, the Grand Duchess of Colwen Grounds, cheers for the Vinkun Ozlympic swim team! And your mother, the Thropp Second Descending, went Quadling eighteen years ago!" He pointed at Nessa. "I HAVE PROOF! CUTE, ROSY PROOF!"

"Shut your cakehole, the fireworks are starting!" Nessa cried.

"Knowing this province, it's probably going to rain any second," Fiyero mumbled. Elphaba shot him a look and he shrugged. "Deport me. See if I care."

"Ouch. Right in the patriotism," Shell declared blandly.

* * *

><p>"I'm going as Fiyero," Shell explained. "But the look's not complete yet." He plopped backwards onto the couch and spread his arms and legs as far as he could, taking up the most space possible. "Okay."<p>

Nessa adjusted her witch hat. "You're missing the look of constant self-satisfaction."

"Nessa and Shell are making a mockery of me! Punish them!" Fiyero yelled.

Elphaba was shaking a box of candy into a bowl. The lazy kids who resided in the building preferred to walk around the floor mooching sweets off of neighbours and this time she was prepared for it. "Shell, you know it's only realistic if you've spent two hours in front of the mirror doing your hair."

By the time she made it to the living room, Shell was adorned in his shell costume. He and Nessa were at the door, ready to leave for their party and Fiyero was giving them some spur-of-the-moment advice.

"...and if you play Spin the Bottle, for the love of Oz, make sure you're sitting across someone cute..."

When the door closed, Fiyero appeared in the doorway watching her mischievously. "I do believe we're alone, Miss Thropp." He sauntered over to her and pulled her into him by the waist. "Perhaps we can take this opportunity to discover your inner Kumbric-"

There was pounding on the front door. "TRICK-OR-TREAT!"

* * *

><p>Fiyero and Shell pulled off their safety goggles and held up the pregnancy test. It had taken numerous amounts of chemicals and weeks of preparation, but they had finally coaxed a positive out of it. November Fool's Day, like National Sandwich Day, was a holiday not to be screwed around with.<p>

Nessa took the stick and fingered the lacy border of her skirt. Elphaba entered and set her purse on the counter, wrenching the fridge open. "Have you eaten yet?"

The younger sister stared at her lap. "Elphaba...oh my Oz...Elphaba..."

"Is something wrong?" Elphaba floated over to the sink and began scrubbing at the dishes left by Shell's cravings.

"I'M NOT A SLUT! I SWEAR!"

"_What?"_

"There was this handsome Quadling exchange student...Elphaba, I didn't know! I have a few drinks and I'm a different person! I've only been having sex with him for a month! It's not possible for me to be pregnant! Elphaba, you're an aunt!"

"Does this have anything to do with Fiyero buying pregnancy tests and Shell mixing chemicals in the bathroom sink?"

"THE JIG'S UP FIYERO." Shell emerged from the closet in the hallway, still wearing his lab coat.

* * *

><p>Fiyero tossed golden coins around the living room. As he skipped in front of her, Elphaba tried to peer around him at the evening news report.<p>

"OH, THE VINKUS. THE PRIDE AND JOY OF OZ. FROM THE MOUNTAINS TO THE GRASSLANDS, KELLSWATER AND KUMBRICIA'S PASS, WE ADORE YOU, OH VINKUS."

One of the coins landed in Nessa's lap and she lifted it closer to examine it. "What do you use these for?"

"They're mostly decoration."

Shell's mouth fell open and horror flooded his eyes. His hand came to rest on his stomach. "They're not chocolate?"

Elphaba pulled her cardigan around her. "I'll go phone the hospital."

* * *

><p>A yawn escaped Elphaba as she poured herself a bowl of cereal. It was one of those days when work seemed unattractive in every way, but remained necessary in every way. She heard a chair scrape the floor as Fiyero claimed a seat.<p>

"Bad night," he said cheerfully.

"Good morning," she replied. Every day it was a new method of pre-coffee torture.

His face fell. "What do you mean? I had a terrible morning."

"Alright, you win. I'll move out tomorrow."

Fiyero shook his head and pointed at the calendar behind him where the current day was circled. Written in bold, red letters were the words _Opposite Day._

"Now I'm really moving out."

"Elphaba, yes! I love when you silence unlike that!" He squeezed tears into his eyes. "Before nothing that you haven't done for me!"

Elphaba rolled her eyes because the idiot did have a point. And he _had_ accompanied her to that protest against Hedgehog Day a few weeks previous. She purposely left him dangling as she finished her breakfast and then set her bowl on the counter, walking right past him. After Nessa and Shell were woken up for school and everything set to go, Elphaba rushed back into the room, grinning at the sunken Fiyero. She grabbed his face and murmured, "You're going to slap me now." And kissed him before leaving for work.

Fiyero threw his hands up in the air triumphantly. "OH NO!"

* * *

><p>Most Ozians forgot that Prowd's Day was less about the romanticism and was, in actuality, a saint's day. When Nessa arrived at church, she found the priest closing the doors and starting down the hall towards his office.<p>

"Excuse me," she called, blushing. She hadn't had time to fix her hair or 'put on her face' as Shell called it. "Is there not going to be a mass today?"

The priest flashed a sympathetic smile that answered her before his words did. "There isn't much sense in saying a mass for myself."

Nessa narrowed her eyes. "No one showed up _at all_?"

"People forget there are more types of love than that between a man and woman. And stronger types too." He nodded at Nessa and walked away.

A blink centred her in reality again and she pushed her way into the chapel. She liked it better when no one else was around anyway. Sunlight filtered in through the tints of the stained glass window and Nessa smiled at the glass portrait of Saint Aelphaba. Had Frex and Melena known their children before they were born, Nessa probably would have ended up with the name.

She tried to run herself through that situation. Men falling so in love with her that she was chased into a cave for all eternity. What a depthless, sickening kind of love. Then there was Saint Glinda, who had dedicated her life to preaching pacifism right until she was murdered by rogue Glikkuns. Nessa didn't think she could summon that kind of bravery. She definitely didn't have the guts to run away from home with no safety net. Had she been the eldest, she could never have stifled her feelings long enough to care for Elphaba and Shell without complaint. She couldn't imagine handcrafting shoes and sending them to a daughter that wasn't hers.

And, as hard as it was to admit, she couldn't see herself carrying a baby for nine months- through all the sickness, blood and pain and then caring for the brat without demanding recognition. Only to watch her go without a word because all she wanted was to get away.

Shell's speech may have touched on the philosophy of humanity, but he had missed an entirely crucial point. Holidays were needed to take a step back to admire who's grown and to bring Ozians back to where they started. To the aunts and nannies and friends that loved the unlovable. To overprotective fathers that fell for fake pregnancy tests and imitation lip rings and extreme mothers with no talent in the kitchen but who tried their best for every celebration.

A sudden rush of affection drove Nessa to the restroom where she wiped her tears with the rough surface of the paper towels sitting beside the sink.

Sweet Oz. Love is freaking weird, she thought.


	23. Passive Him Aggressive Her

**A/N: Don't give me that look, I actually had an update ready this time...then a handsome Quadling walked by. Actually, my Internet went down and my dad decided to fix it himself. I'm sure you can imagine how that played out.**

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><p>By the time Lurlinemas snow hit the ground Fiyero had been living with the Thropps for five and a half months, but couldn't quite fit into their tracks. Two months into university, Nessa was experiencing withdrawal. The crises she had watched her high school classmates soldier through were now hitting her full force and she began noticing flaws all around her. From her classmates' cakey foundation to the growing trend of Quadling labour. She began to feel caged, which led to the pacing fear that everything had changed permanently and she would never again live with her parents, who caged their pet much more humanly- with strict curfews and a stable ozternet connection.<p>

Meanwhile, Shell was still sleeping on the couch and banging his head on the arm rest while tossing and turning through guilt. With a phone lying an arm's reach away and a post office down the street, he really had no excuse not to sneak away when Nessa and Elphaba's heads were turned, but it seemed he had inherited the worst of both his parents. He was neglecting Melena and screwing around behind Frex's back.

Blinded by her stubbornness, Elphaba didn't notice. And they all understood it, no matter how much they resented it. It wasn't fair for her to lose out on the building-block years of her adulthood simply because of the voice in her head that told her to care more than was proportionately normal. Besides, she had a nice little life set up with Fiyero. He had landed himself a job at a television station (with a little string-pulling) and she was making a liveable income off an internship at a newspaper.

But the worry was still palpable enough for Fiyero to stroll into the kitchen with a blossoming idea. He tossed his keys onto the counter and hugged Elphaba from behind. "What's new, Mama Bear?"

"Don't ever call me that again."

Unaffected, Fiyero turned to Nessa who was at the table doing homework. "How was school Baby Bear?"

"Group work is a misnomer. It should be called _Nessa-does-the-assignment-and-everyone-else-takes-the-mark work_."

"Ah, just be thankful you're not taking Parenting 101 with Elphaba Thropp. She treated that poor baby like it was plastic." Fiyero had developed the tendency for _dad stories, _though they trumped Frex's about walking to school through ice ages and volcanic eruptions.

Joining Nessa at the table, Shell took a look at the work and turned up his nose. "I'm not going to university."

Elphaba sighed. "See, Nessa? Why can't you have ambitions like your brother?"

"It's my other Baby Bear!" Fiyero exclaimed and pulled Shell into a hug.

"You're...crushing my...insides."

"What's wrong with Fiyero?" Nessa asked.

"Countless things," replied Elphaba, resting her hands on Fiyero's shoulders. "Did you hear a new voice in your head today, dear?"

Fiyero shrugged her off and pulled out a chair at the table, indicating for Elphaba to take a seat. "Now, not to brag, but-" he tapped his head, "-this genius was hit by a thought train full of lightbulbs today."

"Everyone to the bomb shelter!" Shell cried.

"I think it's about time we took..." He banged on the table. "A VACATION!"

"Ab-solu-tely not," Elphaba and Nessa said at the same time.

"I'm down, bro," Shell declared. "Let's go somewhere I'm not classified as a giant."

The colour in Elphaba's cheeks rose and for the first time she looked unapologetically angry with Fiyero. "Things like that need planning, Fiyero! Nessa and Shell are behind in school, Glinda and Avaric are coming over for Lurlinemas...just because we have jobs doesn't mean we can _afford_ anything yet."

Slightly hurt, Fiyero frowned at the table. "You didn't hear where I wanted to go."

"Well, if Gillikin's borders are made of gold and Quadling Country is civilly unsound...oh my Oz..."

"All flights to the Vinkus connect in a certain city-" he wiggled his eyebrows, having detected the strain in her voice, "-_of emeralds_."

"Fiyero, you asshole!"

Nessa cleared her throat. "Um...I think Shell and I are going to go send texts to the friends we don't have in the other room." She pulled Shell away by the collar of his shirt.

"Pack your beachwear!" Fiyero called.

"Leave your beachwear where it is!" Elphaba commanded.

Running his hands over his face, Fiyero swiveled around and tried to level with Elphaba. "Why don't you explain to me why you're against this?"

"Because one of us has to take into account how little changes can affect the grand scheme of things."

"Why is that a bad thing?"

"Because I don't want to have to adjust anymore! It's just adjustment after adjustment after adjustment." She was throwing her head around with her argument like an unhinged bobblehead.

Fiyero shook his head and grinned at Elphaba. "I see what's going on here! You're afraid that once we get you in the EC, we won't be able to get you out! You'll relive your glory days!"

Elphaba's shoulders slumped, but she laughed. "I'm twenty-one and I already have glory days."

"That's exactly the kind of talk that tells me it's time for a vacation!"

"And what's this about the Vinkus?"

"Well, it's simple math, my darling Elphaba. Rewind two years back to when young Fiyero and Elphaba are dining across from specimens of the middle-aged Thropp variety. A year ago when said couple was enjoying a meal with the in-house blonde entertainment. Now, flash forward a week to when happily platonic Fiyero and Elphaba show up at the doors of Kiamo Ko and are greeted by conservative, welcoming Tigelaars. Followed by a New Year's Eve when Fiyero _doesn't_ blow it."

"YOU WANT ME TO MEET YOUR PARENTS?" Elphaba yelled, so loud a few neighbours banged on the walls. "DID THAT THOUGHT TRAIN RUN OVER YOUR LOGIC?"

Fiyero looked around confusedly. "I MET YOUR PARENTS! AND ALSO, WHY ARE WE YELLING?"

"AND IT JINXED EVERYTHING!"

"NO-" Fiyero paused and then closed his mouth. "Uh...I don't know...look, if you don't want to go, then we'll stay here."

"We still have cake left over from Shell's birthday anyway."

"THAT WAS REVERSE PSYCHOLOGY!"

"Better luck next time." After which, Elphaba conveniently found a way of prolonging the inevitable by doing Nessa's assignment for her. When Fiyero slid into bed beside her and watched the fluttering of her closed eyelids and the all too regular rise and fall of her chest, he waited to see how long she could hold the charade.

Half an hour later, out of his own onsetting sleepiness and contempt for the blank wall he had been watching, he said, "You know, I heard those sleeping pills were tested on Animals, but they sure cured your insomnia. Why don't I go buy some more?"

The wood floors were so cold and the view out of the windows so dark that Fiyero was able to use them as motivation towards his goal. Grabbing his jacket out of the closet he thought of orange Vinkun sand stuck between his toes and late sunsets.

"Okay, I'll see you in twenty minutes." He lingered in the doorway and then shouted, "Nessa, Shell! I'm doing a midnight coffee run!"

The Elpha-lump did not move. Gritting his teeth, Fiyero threw off his jacket and tiptoed over to her side of the bed. "ARE YOU ALIVE?" Still no reaction, but he saw the twinge at the corner of her lips.

"Alright, I guess you're asleep. I'll join you." He rolled himself horizontally onto the bed, but only far enough so that he was on top of her; chest-to-chest, waist-to-waist, cold toes-to-green toes and face-to-face.

Elphaba sputtered and her eyes flew open. She tried to push him away, but to no avail.

"The princess awakes!" Fiyero turned his head towards the window. "Munchkins resume your heigh-hoeing!"

"Fiyero!"

"I get turned on by cold toes too."

"I'm fairly sure you punctured my right lung."

"I planned a perfectly good speech and you didn't give me the chance to recite it."

"That's cute and-"

Fiyero stopped her, placing a finger over her lips and clamping them shut. "No, Elphaba, you need to listen to me this time. Three years ago, we fell in love. No, stop. I know you don't like the word, but _stop_." He let the air settle for a moment. "And you introduced me to the concept of the _feeling_. I love you and I can admit it to myself now. And I've grown to love your family. But when you say that you don't want to meet mine, it touches on a different feeling. The same feeling that gets touched when I'm watching soccer with Shell and Munchkinland beats the Vinkus."

"It's not that I don't want to meet them-"

"There's _nothing_ to be afraid of."

"There's _everything_ to be afraid of."

Being in such close proximity to her suddenly became intensely uncomfortable for Fiyero, but he maintained his stance. "Elphaba, we're past this. Nothing is holding us back anymore. When you say that it makes me feel like I'm wasting my time trying to get through to you, but I know I'm not."

There was much less turmoil going on inside of Elphaba's mind. She ran her hands through his hair and rested them on his neck. "We'll start saving and in a few years we'll go to Gillikin. My-" she caught herself. "I knew someone who loved it there."

"I don't recall putting this up for negotiation."

Elphaba shrugged as best as she could. "Then have a fun trip."

"Elphaba, we wouldn't be in this position if you weren't so afraid of taking risks!"

"Afraid of taking risks?" Elphaba bolted upright, knocking Fiyero off of her. "Last time I checked, it wasn't you rallying to save the Lion cub!"

Shell's voice echoed through the apartment. He was murmuring unintelligibly. A bad habit, but no worse than his snoring. Fiyero used it to his advantage. Shaking his head with repulsion, he hissed, "Great. You woke up the kids."

"There's not a single person in Oz who's not afraid of risks. You can't be immune to that!"

The sudden solemnity in Fiyero's eyes canceled out everything Elphaba thought she knew he was capable of and took her completely by surprise. "Then take this one for me."

Elphaba knew she could take a swing at the curveball, but the probability of her hitting it was slim. She was too distracted, too enthralled by this multi-dimensional, bold side of Fiyero that rarely pushed its way past the barrier of defensive joking- that one that let ideas like lying on top of her until she suffocated waltz on by.

She bit her lip and smiled at him. "And you'll be my personal tour guide?"

"You'll be sick of me by the time we get back."

"Don't worry about that." She waved her hand. "I got sick of you long before this."

Fiyero shook his head playfully and flattened himself on top of her again. "And I'll show you my sword."

"Is it plastic?"

"How did you know?" Fiyero laughed, but retained some of the complexity in his eyes. Elphaba was sure she'd never seen him so beautiful. She closed her eyes as he kissed her nose. "I love you," he whispered and then kissed her eyelids. "You're beautiful." He kissed her forehead. "And an extremely lucky woman." Sliding his hands underneath the covers, he locked them with hers. "Don't you have something to say?"

Elphaba moaned and opened her eyes. "Is that a harpoon in my thigh or your knee?" But she gave him her actual reply in the form of a kiss.

* * *

><p>Elphaba's next few days were full of preparations and ignoring the growing pit in her stomach. She arranged for Avaric and Galinda to meet them in the Emerald City and helped Nessa pack the skimpiest outfits they could think of. It wasn't a sin if Frex wasn't around and it wasn't awkward if Melena wasn't egging her on.<p>

After the unfortunate revelation that majority of Shell's summer clothes no longer fit him, Elphaba had to go shopping without the aid of her blonde instructor, but quickly learnt that boys were far easier to shop for. Everything she bought was the same style as the item before it, just in a different colour. In the line to the cashier she lost herself in the bittersweet daydream of how she would dress her own children.

That's right, Elphaba Thropp was caught at the point of no return. Planning her children. And there were security tapes to prove it.

The rapid result was for Elphaba to switch to a task that required a little more of her brain. Online banking. She had three accounts to manage. Her's, Fiyero's and the charity account Frex and Melena had set up. Elphaba being Elphaba, hadn't touched it. The only thing she hadn't paid for was Nessa's tuition, which was a matter between Nessa and Frex.

But Elphaba still had an intuitive feeling that she'd be jammed into the situation of pinching pennies again. That is, until she refreshed the lagging webpage and saw that the amount of money in her account had doubled over the past week. Scrambling for her phone, Elphaba interrogated the bank teller and learnt that the money was hers, as it had been purposely transferred into her account.

Setting down the phone beside her, Elphaba stared at the figure and gradually came to accept it. Someone obviously understood that, though essentially a fully-fledged couple, Fiyero and Elphaba still needed someone to root for them.

Less than a week later, after being held up at security on account of a guard's suspicion, the green woman in black, the overeager Vinkun and the two teens that looked nothing like them boarded the plane and kicked off their first vacation as a family.


	24. Emerald State of Mind

Tears were shed during the reunion of Fiyero and Avaric. By the time they were finished hugging it out, Galinda, Elphaba, Nessa and Shell were across the airport pretending not to be affiliated with them in any way.

Galinda, who knew how dear the city was to Elphaba, ran ahead with her friend. The glass doors slid open in time for them to escape onto the street, beneath the swollen winter sky. Lights blurred the darkness around them everywhere they could; inviting Elphaba further in than she'd been before. Savouring her; swishing her around, until it would spit her out three days later and swallow her for good eventually. She'd never felt so big, while being so small.

"Sweet Lurline!" Nessa's voice cried in awe behind them. Elphaba clung to Galinda, but swiveled to see the reflection of the lights twinkling in her sister's eyes.

Accustomed to the grandeur, Galinda diverted her attention through the exit behind them to the two figures trying to fit through the doors with a combined total of five luggage. She sighed and left Elphaba so she could direct traffic for the friends who had quickly turned from affection to aggression.

When the boys and the bags made it outside unscathed (besides Avaric, who could have sworn Fiyero used Vinkun voodoo magic to induce the sudden pain in his lower back) two cabs were flagged down and loaded up. Elphaba, Galinda and Nessa claimed one of them and left the boys behind. Unfortunately, that resulted in a near disaster when Avaric looked around the interior of the cab and did a headcount. "Didn't Elphie's brother come with you?"

Horror drained Fiyero's face and he looked underneath the seats and in the cupholders. Leaning forward, he tapped the driver on the shoulder. "Uh...if you don't mind, we're going to have to turn around."

Elphaba wasn't as forgiving as Nessa was in the near loss of her brother. Shell wasn't bothered. He claimed that, had he been left alone, he would have ended up emperor and he wasn't ready for that large a step. Subsequent to that, the siblings were given free range of the hotel, which was rumoured to have something different behind every door for every person that happened to pop in, while Fiyero and Elphaba rendezvoused with Galinda and Avaric for a much-needed chat. Although not before warning the concierges not to allow a devious looking girl in a wheelchair and too much makeup or a boy wearing any type of fake mustache and maintaining that he was God past the revolving doors.

Galinda and Avaric, who knew how swanky Fiyero liked his hangouts, organized to meet the couple at the most expensive café in the city. As soon as Elphaba saw the prices, she ordered tap water and was content to watch Fiyero down his twenty-dollar chocolate cashachino and a cookie shaped like a snowman holding a chunky wallet.

"So I guess you two are just about ready to tie the knot, huh?" Galinda asked, suddenly entranced by the frothy depths of her beverage.

Avaric choked on his Vinkun coffee. Rest unassured, everything labelled 'Vinkun' was probably loaded with alcohol. "Galinda." He shook his head. "Galinda, the saying is _tie the string_."

"Uh. No it's not."

"Yes, it is." Avaric tapped the delicate tip of Galinda's nose with his index finger. "But I think it's cute when you display your ignorance to people we're striving to impress."

A look of acceptance crossed Galinda's face, but she slouched in her seat, eyes pleading with Elphie. "Do you see what I put up with when you're not around? And he hasn't even hinted about _tying the string_."

When a series of chuckles erupted into full-blown laughter, Elphaba didn't attempt to stifle it. "Marriage? What is it but an excuse for wearing a fancy ring on your finger?"

"And a stunning white dress. And getting your hair done in curls and pulling it back with a tiara. And sending out invitations. And getting your picture taken all day long. And picking out flowers. And being the prettiest even if you aren't."

"And getting as drunk as you can and having as much sex as you want," Avaric finished, staring out the window at the flow of traffic. Or lack of.

Elphaba couldn't be swayed by all the bouquets and unprotected sex in Oz. "And spending painful amounts of money. And feeling like a clown act down the aisle. And having to pretend you get along with people. And spending more time posing for photos to pretend you're having a good time than _having_ a good time."

"Then elope! Escape from the villainous clutches of your parents and meet up with your paramour in a desolate church just as the clock strikes twelve, announcing a new day and a new life." Galinda's elbows slipped until her chin was resting on the table. The mush had engulfed her.

"And the pretty little human accidents and the divorce twenty years later!" Elphaba was barely able to match Galinda's high-pitched wistfulness, but she did it. Pat on the back.

Fiyero, who had been taking in the scene with the encouraging enthusiasm of a front row concert tenant, felt the colour seep out of his cheeks as he witnessed the unexpected turn. He threw back his chair, trying- and failing- to hide his uneasiness and pulled Avaric with him. "Excuse us. We'll be back."

"Good," Avaric said as Fiyero dragged him towards the restroom. "I think I smudged my lipstick." He stumbled through the swinging door that Fiyero neglected to hold open and froze in his tracks, placing his hand over his rapidly beating heart. "Fiyero, this is all so fast."

The Vinkun was pulling a shimmering black cube from the confines of his pocket and flipping it open. Avaric's mouth watered at the sight of the diamond the size of the meteor that wiped out the dinosaurs. Well, maybe a little smaller.

"Fiyero, I'm flattered, but reluctantly, I now pronounce you rejected and ring."

"But Avaric, I lost my heart to you the moment I walked in on you trying on my pants."

"I could have sworn they were Galinda's."

Slapping Avaric upside the head, Fiyero clued him in. Those pants were only to be worn by the manliest of men. And this was not a proposal. "It's not for you."

"Oh."

"That's it?"

"Oh shit." He outstretched a hand and patted Fiyero on the shoulder. "If you survive the beating, call me up and we'll elope."

Fiyero ran a hand over his face, drawing down his cheeks. "My entire plan is ruined because I accidentally fell in love with the woman who secretes stubbornness like-"

"A frog secretes mucus?" Avaric tapped the side of his head. "See? I remember Doctor Dill's science class."

"Dillamond taught history."

"No, he didn't. I sat with Boq and Elphie. And Elphie told me I gave her something. I can't remember what, but I think she was coming onto me."

Fiyero sighed. "It's a good thing your parents could afford bribery."

The insult flew over Avaric's head in a silent glide. He was blank before a moment of enlightenment. "Hey, have you tried talking to Galinda? She and Elphie are like a pea and a pineapple in a pod."

Disgruntled and humiliated, Fiyero pushed past Avaric, forsaking any patience for the frustration forming in a mind that was now trained on swerving around the obstacle thrown so carelessly in his path. It was that or resent Elphaba and her reasoning. Something he couldn't bring himself to when she was always so convinced of her accuracy. To avoid disaster, Fiyero contrived to meet up with Galinda early the next morning while Elphaba brought her siblings to the hotel buffet and watched Shell's six plates fill and empty almost simultaneously. At least Galinda was better with advice than Avaric. Then again, so were inanimate objects.

The cold air nipped at Fiyero's fingers as he reached into his jacket and pulled out the box. Galinda clutched her heart with one hand and gripped the iron arm of the bench with the other. "Oh, Fiyero, I have to warn you that I'm not the _wifey_ type."

In his despair, Fiyero almost tossed the box over his shoulder and then remembered writing the colossal cheque it had entailed. He brought it into his lap and covered it protectively. "It's not for you."

Galinda picked imaginary lint off her shoulder. "I knew that."

"What am I going to do?"

"Typically you go down on one knee, but I read somewhere that skydiving proposals are all the rage-"

"I'm afraid."

"Of what? Elphaba _loves_ you." Galinda smiled softly, highlighting her reddened cheeks. "Elphie never texts first and she never asks questions or goes out for the fun of it. You've convinced her she doesn't deserve to be alone. It drives me up the wall when she says that. It's just..."

"What?" The negative note in her voice grabbed Fiyero's attention quicker than the heartfelt support.

"Isn't it a little...soon? It couldn't hurt to...you know...wait a few years."

Impatient by nature, Fiyero winced. "What difference is a few years going to make?"

Galinda raised her shoulders to her ears. "I don't know! I'm not a marriage counselist!" She laughed. "You guys couldn't even ask each other out! Elphie's mom had to do it for you!" Bringing her knit mittens to her face, she chuckled into her fists.

"Ah-ha-ha. _Hilarious_."

"It _is_ hilarious." Fiyero raised an eyebrow in question and Galinda licked her lips, staring out at the congestion on the street in front of them. "Weren't you just nagging Elphie about taking risks? Don't give me that face. Once Elphie's confidante, always Elphie's confidante."

But Fiyero couldn't contain his look. "How is meeting my parents so much harder than proposing?"

"Don't you read OzBeat? Fear is subreflective."

"Subjective?"

"No. Subreflective. Reflective of our me-xperiences." Galinda read the confusion on Fiyero's face like an article in one of her magazines and flipped the page. "For example, me. What's my pride and joy?"

"Your superior intellect?"

"My hair! That's why I freak out when my favourite mousse is out of stock. Meanwhile, look at someone like Boq, who put no effort into his hair, but went ape-shit when Nikidik added his test mark up wrong."

"Do I have time to get coffee before your point is made?"

"ELPHIE'S DIFFERENT! SHE'S ALLOWED TO BE UPSET! SHE DOESN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO, SO SHE TURNS HER HEAD THE OTHER WAY AND IGNORES IT UNTIL IT'S GONE! THAT'S WHY MELENA THROPP IS WASTING AWAY IN A PUDDLE OF WINE AND TEARS!"

Sticking a finger in his ear, Fiyero scrunched up his face. "Could you repeat that? Only the dogs heard it."

"Don't try to change Elphie, Fiyero. I need her to keep me down-to-Oz when I'm famous."

"I couldn't if I tried."

"Promise?"

"I promise."

Just when Galinda rested her back against the bench and crossed her legs, convincing Fiyero that she was finally ready to sit still, she jumped up. "Hey! Have you tried talking to Nessa? She's known Elphie since they were little Throppkins."

* * *

><p>The last night of their stay, Fiyero and Elphaba spent walking around the city. Although, the term Fiyero would have used was sprinting. Elphaba was lethal with a map in hand. She wanted to see everything, but wouldn't spend more than two minutes at each site. Together they raced through the streets; two mice in an edgy emerald maze, straight to their destination. Like a trail of steady appetizers, the illuminated buildings of Wonderful Avenue whetted the appetite for the prettiest excuse for a dead-end street Oz had ever seen. The Wizard's Palace.<p>

Elphaba almost tripped over her own feet as she rounded the corner. "It hasn't changed a bit!"

"See, that's the thing about castles," Fiyero sighed, gesturing at the palace. "They haven't figured out how to move yet."

Shoving him and then rebalancing herself after the retribution, Elphaba's eyes remained adhered to the embodiment of her ambitions. The ache of longing coursed through her. She could fit it in the space between her thumb and her forefinger. Fiyero saw the thrill of the aspiration on her face and felt the need to insert himself into it.

"Elphaba?"

Snowflakes were weaving themselves with her eyelashes and the rosy stains on her cheeks played with the tone of her expression. She was shaking, though not from the frigid temperature. Her eyes lowered to the hand embedded in his pocket.

"Yes?"

He remained silent, fidgeting enough to agitate the bulge inside his jacket. "Oh...um...what would you say...what would happen if I..._if we_..."

The wind picked up, just as his resolve petered out. Cowardice induced the handing over of the contents of his other pocket. A globe that he had been pressured into buying while he and Shell had wandered off during the girls' shopping mission.

"Oh. Thank you," Elphaba murmured hesitantly, cradling the souvenir as if it would burst spontaneously. The glass sphere held two microscopic figures before a cartoony replica of the Wizard's Palace. Upon a shake, lazy white flakes were scattered around the tiny world. Beneath the plain green base was a four dollar price sticker.

Fiyero didn't think he could weaken the sincerity of the mistaken gift further, until he burst out, "I thought you would like it. You're sentimental like that."

Elphaba tried a smile and hooked her arm around his. "Why don't we go back? We have to pack. Oz forbid we miss our flight tomorrow."

Silence lumbered along behind them as they made the roundtrip to the hotel, abandoning Elphaba's desire. Their crowded minds were already too much to bear without the added weight. Elphaba had to figure out a way of apologizing to Fiyero's parents for stealing their son before a beautiful, upperclass woman with the personality of lemon could stake a claim. And Fiyero had to think of a way to convince her that if she could push back her inhibitions just a bit there'd be room for their happiness and an oversized ring on her fourth finger.


	25. Strangers Unlike Me

The first thing Elphaba missed was the snow. The sight of naked ground and natural greenery made her squirm in her seat. A dusty Lurlinemas; the physical manifestation of the lost comfort zone. She had seen it from the plane. The borders the Kells drew between the province and the remainder of Oz; jagged incisors sprung up out of nowhere.

Based on the backseat commentary, Nessa and Shell were trying their hardest not to give Fiyero the satisfaction of their amazement. They'd witnessed more geography thirty minutes into their Vinkun sojourn than ever before. Then, halfway through the drive to Kiamo Ko, Nessa fell victim to an asset of a different kind.

"Look!" She slapped Shell on the arm, pointing out the window. "_Boys!_ Everyone act like they don't care!" She turned towards Shell and moved her lips as if deep in conversation.

Shell stared at her, his eyes dead. "Teenagers these days."

"Who told Nessa about boys?" Fiyero demanded, trying to make his look in the rearview mirror serious, but not holding it. He couldn't help it. He was at the wheel of his original baby. Bless his parents for knowing to have it driven to the airport for him. "Nessa, dear, let me save you the pain. Boys are myths."

"I must say, you are one sexy myth," Shell told Fiyero.

Fiyero strained his ears to hear an agreement from the passenger seat, but it didn't come. "Let's play a game. If you're nervous don't pay attention to Fiyero."

Nessa caught on right away. "Better pull over. Someone's looking a little green."

Feeling his cheeks, Shell's expression turned to one of acceptance. "I always get carsick. I think it's the grass I ate as a child."

Before Nessa had the opportunity to retort, Fiyero declared, "And if you'll look to your right, you'll see the birthplace of Fiyero Tigelaar. Take it away, Shell."

"OzBeat's sexiest prince three years running, winner of the Wizard's Choice Best Smile competition and unfortunate beau of the dudette who isn't listening to the speech designed to get him lucky."

"Fiyero knows the only way he's getting lucky is if his search for the six-leafed clover ever prospers," Elphaba replied, proving herself a worthy multi-tasker. As the car swerved around the winding roads, her eyes were glued to Kiamo Ko and her thoughts surprised at her contempt for Fiyero's regal roots.

Overgrown vines snaked up the stone walls of the Vinkun stronghold, emphasizing the broadness of the windows and the subtle designs carved around them. With her own family of five having grown in a humble, eight roomed home, she couldn't find the necessity in a family of three residing in a home with an eight bedroom minimum. The prospect didn't seem like home at all. Just a building.

Fiyero navigated through the long route around the castle to give the Thropps a taste of what he had grown up surrounded by. The delicacy of the gardens, towers that touched the sky and- the most popular- the unwavering view of the ocean.

"It's blue!" Nessa cried.

Shell shoved her. "It's turquoise!"

"It's clear!"

"It's moving!"

"I saw a fish!"

"That's a rock!"

"Close enough!"

"Annnnnd..." Fiyero threw the car into park and hit the unlock button. "You have arrived," he announced in an automated voice. Shell tumbled out of the car, helped Nessa out with him and they were gone within seconds, treating themselves to an exploration.

"Don't go near the water!" Elphaba called after them, her voice resounding low and strained through the courtyard. Even if they heard her, Shell and Nessa didn't consider obedience a virtue. She hoped there were some friendly mermaids on standby.

"Are we ready?"

Elphaba turned her head to see Fiyero grinning at her. Did he always glow like that? "You know, there are two tickets available for the 3:15 flight. If we shift the clothes around just right, Shell and Nessa could fit into the bags and-"

Fiyero's glare cut her off. The glow faded. "Why were you checking flight times?"

"For when Shell swallows too much seawater and we have to make the emergency return home."

In the click of a tongue he had rounded the car and was prying Elphaba out of her seat.

"Stop! I'm sore! I need to stretch my legs!"

"Let's go." He had a firm, loving grip on her wrist and was pulling her towards the ornate archway opposite them, only to stop when his arm was yanked backwards. "You've got to be kidding me."

Elphaba was sitting cross-legged in the middle of the pathway, dragging him down on a diagonal and staring up at him with her signature defiance.

"Alright, we'll do this the hard way." Fiyero stooped over, hooked his arms around her and threw her over his shoulder. He nodded at a passing gardener, who was pretending not to have noticed the living, breathing spectacle that was Elphaba Thropp.

And what a surprise it was to the spectacle when Fiyero powered through her strategically aimed kicks and she heard, "Mom; Dad. This is Elphaba." She was thrown sideways as he spun a semi-circle.

Hanging her head in defeat, Elphaba sucked in a breath. Of all of the bad first impressions she'd made on people, this topped the list. She could only imagine the untameable tangles in her hair and the vivid strip of skin exposed now that she was hanging upside down.

"If you would be so kind-" she grunted as Fiyero tightened his grip, "-as to exert some control over your son."

"Fiyero, put the girl down!" the father chuckled. Elphaba couldn't help but admire the musical trill of his accent.

Not for long because Fiyero set her down (rather clumsily) and remarked, "She's afraid of you."

Elphaba's palm slammed into her forehead. "I've really grown to admire your son's unbridled honesty."

"It's in the genes!" Fiyero's father landed a playful punch on his son's shoulder and sent him reeling.

Fiyero balanced himself and placed a hand on the small of Elphaba's back, angling her towards the king. "Elphaba, this is my father, Marillot. If you were wondering where I get my looks from, it's not him."

Marillot caught Elphaba in the beginning stages of a bow and wrapped his hand around hers in an iron grip, shaking it vigorously. "None of that! We're all equals here!" As Elphaba's eyes roved over the queen, she wasn't sure she could trust the 'impeccable Tigelaar honesty' of that statement.

The royal couple easily had ten years on Frex and Melena. The king was massive by all dimensions, but all the more loveable once his red face and clear sapphire eyes broke into their near-constant, jovial smile. By contrast, his wife was tall and slight with pensive grey eyes and hair that bore dignified streaks of silver. She was wearing an expensive looking skirt-suit. The kind Aunt Sophelia had worn on Lurlinemas, knowing full well Melena couldn't afford a frayed thread of it. Queens and princesses were involved in a completely different side of politics than their husbands and fathers.

Suddenly, Elphaba blushed, realizing that she had been expecting crowns and ballgowns. To cover for herself, she held out a hand to the queen. "It's a pleasure to meet you."

The queen's handshake was the ghost of a touch and for the swiftest of seconds. Elphaba almost missed it.

Fiyero picked up on none of the tension whatsoever. "And that's the mumsie, Baxiana." He went in for a hug and was greeted with enough warmth to heat the Emerald City over the course of winter.

"We've heard so much about you," Marillot whispered to Elphaba in an awfully loud voice. She noticed the exaggerated look he cast towards Fiyero. "Every time your name comes up, Fiyero starts to...what's the word?"

"Fangirl?" Shell suggested.

The four adults turned to acknowledge the stealthy newcomers. "Exactly!" Marillot exclaimed, spreading his arms wide to welcome the siblings. "You must be Shell!"

"Hear that, Ness? The king knows my name."

"And Nessarose!" Marillot continued, not having paid attention to Shell's comment.

Nessa twirled a strand of hair around her finger. "Hear that, Shell? The king knows a Nessarose, but not a Sheltergod." She shrugged. "Maybe that's because there's not a Sheltergod that exists anywhere in Oz."

"Not according to my birth certificate."

Marillot's booming voice interrupted Nessa and Shell before Elphaba could intervene. "Why are we lingering in doorways? Let's have a look at your rooms!"

The Thropps quickly learnt that Kiamo Ko resembled most other castles, making Nessa the most comfortable. She gravitated to Marillot in a way she couldn't towards Fiyero.

"Looks like Nessa's in her element again," Elphaba murmured. The corridors were empty, but the portraits of gorgeous, olive-skinned Tigelaars silenced her. They all looked as though they were enduring deep, emotional torture. Not unlike Baxiana's expression when Elphaba's voice sounded.

"You mean sucking up to royals or sucking up to someone else's dad?" Shell said, loud enough for Nessa to receive the audible blow. Marillot, who wasn't informed enough to comprehend the insult, continued on with a story about the time Fiyero threw a beach party and was hitting on girls with a clump of seaweed stuck in his hair.

Nessa and Shell were shown to their rooms and given a chance to settle in. (Nessa began sorting through her clothing, while Shell investigated the length of the drop from his window to the ground.)

"What time should we come down for dinner?" Fiyero asked.

"Any time," Baxiana answered flippantly. Her accent was softer than her husband's, but all the more brilliant. "Your father and I will be busy with preparations for Lurlinemas."

Marillot's brow creased. "But-"

Elphaba couldn't have missed the way Baxiana's heel stomped her husband's toe. She herself had done it to Fiyero so many times.

"That's right. Lurlinemas preparations." Marillot winked at Elphaba. "The woman's always right."

Fiyero opened his mouth to argue, but his parents were already rounding the corner in the direction they had come.

* * *

><p>Elphaba had organized a tedious run-through of all of the worst case scenarios during the three hour flight. She had prepared herself for pitchfork-wielding mobs and walking in on deserted palaces, but the reality of the situation seemed so much worse than anything she could have imagined. Now lodged in Fiyero's former bedroom, unrolling t-shirts, she had too much time to think. The room's absolute lack of personality only reiterated the superficiality of the "home."<p>

"Pretty cool, huh?" Fiyero was resting his elbows on the window sill, absorbing the familiar view. The twilight had passed, pulling up a starry sheet in its place. Unlatching the window, he forced it open and the music of high tide flooded in.

"I especially love your mother's smile."

"She's just stressed. The holidays are always a lot of work for her." Fiyero conveniently chose to begin hanging shirts in the closet.

"Oh." Elphaba paused mid-fold. "She does the cooking?"

"That's not what-"

"Do you have any siblings? _No_. Does _she_ have any siblings?"

"No."

"Then it seems the only thing she has to be stressed about is me."

Fiyero laughed hollowly. "Now that's a little bit conceded."

Overturning the entire luggage onto the bed, Elphaba took out her rage on an innocent cardigan, chucking it across the room. "Just watch. Tomorrow we're going to have so much fun," he was saying all the while. "We'll go swimming and we'll eat until we're popping buttons and we'll have the conversations that need to be had..."

Elphaba had arranged the last of the clothing into their appropriate piles, but in the process of lifting the heap, was forced to set it down again. Out from the soft coverage of the t-shirts rolled the stupid globe Fiyero had given her twenty-four hours previous. Taking it into her hands, she gave it a slight shake and watched the snowflakes take possession of the miniature city.

Fiyero's arms circled her waist and his chin settled on her shoulder. He stared at the globe in her hands until it was still. "You're worrying over nothing," he said. But she wasn't sure who he was speaking to.

Pulling away to ease the unexpected rift, Elphaba grabbed the final items out of her baggage. Tape and baby monitors. Fiyero stared at her incredulously. "What are those for?"

"Didn't you see the rascals scoping out escape routes?" Elphaba slid the roll of tape onto her wrist, making a bracelet of it. "The last thing we need is for the seeds of promiscuity to bear fruit."


	26. Loather of the Ring

**A/N: This story has been on my "To Finish Before the End of the World" list since March. And unlike organizing my closet, I don't want it to stay there forever. (6 MORE CHAPTERS. I THINK I CAN, I THINK I CAN.) So, in the spirit of reprieve from school - which has been stressing me the shell out of late - I present the update a month and a half in the making! (REALLY I JUST WROTE THIS, SO SHOVE THOSE EXPECTATIONS IN THE FREEZER FOR LATER.)**

* * *

><p>Maybe it was the Kells that poked the holes in the ozone layer, Nessa thought, basking in the aloofness of the puffs breaking around the spires of the mountains. She threw her head back against the scratchy material of the lounger, knocking her sunhat over her face. Giving a lackluster attempt at repositioning it, she tore the thing off completely. Even when she was the stunning young woman so neatly exposed, she was still the unconventionally pretty face caught in a pity magnet.<p>

Her eyes closed for a moment, watching the colours imbue their lids; swirling and mingling until she was distracted by the presence of another. Even as Fiyero approached, Nessa could tell he had misplaced his brain.

There was a discreet thud as he dropped onto the beach beside her and the sand caved around him. "Do you ever wonder why the ocean's near the shore?"

Nessa was rooted in disbelief that he had chosen _that_ as his punchline. The waves thundered over the sand, agreeing with her. "I charge fifty cents a question," she declared. This wouldn't be the first time he questioned her about Elphaba's personal preferences. This wouldn't be the first time she lied to him either.

"I was...uh...thinking about the future," he stammered. "...and I realized it's coming up pretty quickly."

Nessa suppressed a laugh.

"And by that time I want to be engaged to Elphaba."

Disguising her defensive reaction as the urge to play with her hair, Nessa said, "So Shell and I will be deported to make way for the bambinos?"

Fiyero's face, which had been holding a sturdy look of confusion, crumbled. "I didn't think about that."

_"You don't say."_

"What if-"

"I'll never live alone."

"Maybe you could-"

_"No."_

Fiyero sighed. _"Nessa."_

"_Fiyero_."

"Elphaba's not going to forget about you."

"Elphaba forgets about me on a daily basis!" Before Fiyero could improvise an answer, she continued, "Just because you were able to step down from your pedestal and play daddy, doesn't give you the right to ruin everything!"

Something new emerged in the honesty of Fiyero's eyes. "We never meant to become your parents."

"Then why did it go so far?"

"Because you needed someone."

Nessa knew what it was grappling with Fiyero's reasoning. But that didn't disgust her. It was that she instinctively stoked it. "So we're abandoned again."

He passed a hand through his hair. "It's complicated."

Now that she had encouraged sufficient means for detesting him, she rocketed down the sidestreets of her mind towards a decent way to detour the wedding. "But you're too young!"

Fiyero ground his teeth, wishing people could be more creative with their excuses. "Your mother was twenty-two."

"And twenty-three at the time of her first affair."

"Elphaba's not your mother."

Nessa smiled wickedly. "Then why are you comparing them?"

"...to _illustrate_ that things change."

"Exactly. People date earlier and marry later. Two years _do not_ mean much in a world where romance makes for nothing more than a pretty story."

"It's not the two years that matter. It's what's happened during."

"Well-" She was interrupted by the rowdy duo of Elphaba and Shell as they tore their way down the beach. Elphaba was petrified of the ocean and Shell was taking full advantage of it.

"So you think she'll say no?" he murmured.

Nessa waited, agitating Fiyero as Elphaba drew nearer. "She thinks she doesn't deserve you. I disagree. I think you deserve each other. You just don't deserve what you have together."

* * *

><p>Shell learnt the hard way that the Arjiki people weren't a particularly religious bunch. It seemed that no one was impressed by his lofty position with the Big Guy in the Sky.<p>

While Elph-Fi and Ness were veging on the beach, he concentrated his efforts on swindling a sample off the chefs. The result? An hor d'oeurve that had faceplanted on the kitchen tiles. Reluctantly he had moved on to aid a fine piece of Vinkun craftsmanship in hanging a garland and rather than being rewarded with a kiss, his toes had been trampled.

But his spirits weren't dampened. Lurlinemas, even without the pleasure of creaming loved ones in Monozpoly, was his favourite time of year. What sucked wouldn't suck as much for the next twenty-four hours. The books he wasn't going to read. The notes he was going to hit wrong. The papercuts and bruises he would accumulate. All of the embarrassing things his sisters had caught him doing at one time or another. And yet, somewhere in his mind something was nagging him. Something he had witnessed before launching the hydro-attack on Elphaba.

Shell looked up, a string of lights reflecting in his eyes as Fiyero appeared in the foreground of the bustling preparations.

"Where the hell have you been?" the Vinkun demanded in all his exuberant good nature. "How about a game of tackle-tag with the sister? Maybe we can get her in the water."

Though usually appreciative of Fiyero's childish – and not to mention transparent - alibis for flirting with Elphaba, Shell declined on the pretense that if he didn't look good in time for dinner, Nessa would be dining on his soul instead.

However, he couldn't resist adding, "If you had asked me I would have told you that I know romance isn't dead - it's just hard to come by. And I know that once you find your better half, it's really fucking stupid to let her go. And I know that Avaric, Galinda and Nessa are too stupid and too smart to tell you what you need to hear. And I know that things are hard, but you have to have the balls to go through with it. Unless it's math homework. In that case, screw it. You don't need it."

"By the way, God told me the ocean's near the shore because he put it there." Shell patted Fiyero's shoulder as he passed him. "But no one asks me."

* * *

><p>According to Galinda contacts opened up Elphaba's face; according to Elphaba they made her eyes itch and served as a scapegoat for the unbelievable. She didn't understand how, in a matter of hours, something as stagnant as Kiamo Ko could undergo such an elegant transformation. The castle had become a disarray of decoration and sound, illuminating the orangish dark of impending nightfall.<p>

Fiyero pulled Elphaba down to the foyer to see the people lined down the threshold. It was custom for the king and queen to open up the festivities to the public. And even more custom for their bags and persons to be checked upon entry.

"The perfect opportunity for you to demonstrate those impeccable people skills," Fiyero murmured, plucking a blue rhododendron blossom from a nearby bouquet and tucking it into her hair. "You're already getting many a look, my fair maiden."

"It's my allure," she replied.

Reflex had her throwing her gaze around the room to locate her siblings. Shell was zooming around, wedged between the appetizer table and a group of girls. Nessa was flanking Marillot with the million-watt smile she had trained him on, acquainting herself with the prominent officials of the Vinkus.

"I hope your father realizes that everything he says tonight will be relayed to the Eminent Thropp," Elphaba whispered, reading the signs of all the devious little thoughts working behind her sister's grin.

Fiyero held up his hands in defeat. "My dad has a pretty _go-with-the-flow_ attitude." He expanded his chest and assumed the deep register of his father's voice, "Homeland security? When a smile like this could end a war?" His pearly teeth caught the light and nearly blinded Elphaba.

"That sounds a lot like someone I know." She shrugged and looked away.

"No."

Elphaba pursed her lips and looked back at him incredulously.

"Don't give me that look."

She didn't move.

"I hate to do this, but as Prince of the Vinkus, I banish you."

"As Thropp Third Descending, I banish _you_," she shot back.

He shook his head. "You can't banish me from my home."

"I believe I just did."

"I was royal before you were born."

"I'm a month older than you."

_"Cougar._"

What was that?"

"Can I interest you in a refreshment?"

Elphaba nodded and watched Fiyero weave through the crowd. As he shook hands with those who felt entitled to stop him, she was almost positive she knew what he was thinking. Something along the lines of - _hand sanitizer, hand sanitizer, hand sanitizer._

Then she wasn't sure what to do. She didn't have a phone to fake transfixion or a book to distract her. Though the proper thing to do would have been to introduce herself to the guests, she couldn't. Respect bred insincerity and she didn't want to partake in that.

Pressing herself further into the corner, her eyes landed on Nessa - the social chameleon. Though they were garbed similarly and though Nessa had put much more effort into her own intricate ponytail than clipping half of Elphaba's hair to the back of her head, Elphaba was surprised she didn't feel like the caterpillar next to the butterfly.

Feeling the prickle of a stare, Elphaba turned her head and caught Fiyero regarding her from a group that had snared him on his roundtrip. People that she knew, from the set of his eyes, were less important to him than she was. He broke away and ducked the incoming sentiments to return to his spot beside her.

She took the frosty glass from him, smiling. "Gee, I would have liked some liquid with my ice."

"It'll melt. Like your heart around me."

"But all the same, not for the weak-hearted!" a booming voice interrupted.

The couple turned as their private square opened up into a pentagon, welcoming Marillot, Baxiana and an official that had been tailing them.

Elphaba brought the drink close to her nose and inhaled the heady scent. "If I wake up pregnant tomorrow, by the time I'm through with you you won't be having any more children," she muttered to Fiyero.

The tall, polished official observed the casual threat and the way the couple was twined around each other, commenting, "Getting serious, are we?"

Marillot made a nearly indiscernible noise that everyone in the vicinity presumed to be wedding bells.

Baxiana laid a hand on her husband's shoulder. A polite cue to _shut the hell up_. "You know how it is with young love. It's so hard to know when to put out the fire before it burns you."

"Then the young wrinkles into old and no one's _in the mood_ anymore," Marillot quipped, nudging his friend.

"That's quite enough." Baxiana elbowed her husband as nonchalantly as she could.

Fiyero wasn't amused with either of his parents. "I don't think that was your question to answer." He didn't dignify his mother with a look.

"It will be my question to answer if I want to answer it."

Elphaba stepped forward, slotted into the position of referee. "It was just a question. And a very vague one at that."

The official seemed sensible enough to take leave before things escalated beyond him. Marillot also excused himself, catering to his loyalty to holiday cheer more vehemently than his loyalty to his son's choices. "I'll second that," Elphaba decided, aiming herself towards the refreshment table where Marillot was now explaining the inexplicable phenomenon of women. But before she could join the debate, Fiyero claimed his hold on her wrist and wrenched her back. She was sure she could see the steam billowing from the queen's ears, but the impassive mask of the woman's face concealed it rather well.

"You have a responsibility to your province, your family and yourself," Baxiana hissed. "To imply that someone of such a disreputable background will one day replace me as queen!"

Elphaba disentangled herself from Fiyero's grip. She smiled as courteously as she could. "I think I'm going to step away from this conversation before someone's feelings get hurt. Can I get anyone anything? No? Alright." And she was gone, having slipped through the horde in seconds.

"Tell me," Baxiana started, drawing Fiyero's eyes from the doorway, "what was wrong with Sarima?"

"Arranged marriage doesn't _work_."

"Look how happy your father and I are!"

Fiyero couldn't resist peeking at Marillot, who was throwing back shots with whoever was willing.

"And what happened to Galinda?" His mother seemed to quiver with fear. Fiyero was by no means this serious, nor this argumentative. "How can I get through to you?" She reached for his arm and held his hand to her chest. "You've grown too far. You're lost...disconnected."

Tearing himself from her grip, Fiyero tried his best to lessen his temper. "Maybe _you're_ disconnected." He shrugged. "Maybe you should be happy for me." He nodded. "You _should_ be happy for me. There's a ring in my pocket and it's not for Sarima or Galinda."

Picking apart crowd after crowd, Fiyero tried to hack into Elphaba's mind to locate her whereabouts, only to find that the telepathic connection he had been banking on was probably just an issue of predictability. He stumbled past a study where Marillot had a group of teens backed against a wall in a card game and didn't bother to observe his father's drunken etiquette. Maybe one day he'd realize the youngsters' obligation to facilitate their king's winning streak.

Then, catching sight of familiarity, Fiyero adjusted his course to where Shell was shamelessly begging the tail of the mouse cookie off Nessa, who had nabbed from the dessert table. And Nessa was milking every second of it.

"Ness snaked the last cookie," Shell whined, hoping that Fiyero wasn't as inclined to favour Nessa as Elphaba was.

Nessa smirked. "Speaking like that won't get you any further." She broke off the head and waved it under Shell's nose.

"There are always cookies under the oven on Lurlinemas," Fiyero divulged; feet in place, eyes wandering. "Wait five minutes, you'll get warm ones. Have you seen your sister?"

Shell thought back as far as his attention span would allow. "I thought I saw her down the hall, but I think it was a tree."

"That happens a lot," Nessa mused.

Fiyero thanked them and rushed away. Shell contemplated joining him in the search and then voted against it. Their relationship was forever, cookies for tonight.

"Enjoy your cold-blooded mouse," he laughed and left Nessa, shooting across the castle to the kitchens, gambling on the probability of an altruistic baker who would let him lick the spoon. Until he rounded a corner and came across a figure that wasn't a tree. She was running her fingers along the edge of a waist-high table, leaning over it to access the painting of a ship on rough waters she was studying.

"Uh..." Shell intruded, blinking in the creamy dimness of the chandelier, "someone's keeping a Fi-eye-ro out for you. You might want to find him before he gets lost in his own castle." He smacked his lips and took off before Elphaba had time to reorient herself.

Guilted into surrendering her silky reverie to the coarser fabric of reality, Elphaba bid the nautical painting farewell and spun around on her heel.

Her movements were cautious, marred by the subconscious feel of a curious pair of eyes. Scanning the vacant corridor with the watchful vision of a hawk, Elphaba glimpsed a shift in the suit of armour a few metres down. Shaking her head, scattering the thoughts that hampered her, she kept moving forward.

Then stopped.

Then started.

And stopped.

She cursed herself, not only for being programmed to care, but for being programmed to look for things that needed caring for.

"Hello?" she called.

Nothing.

"I can see you," she lied, projecting her voice further down.

A tiny figure emerged from the hiding spot it was nestled in. A little girl. She gripped the edge of the alcove and studied Elphaba, her face shadowed past her nose. Elphaba, who had half expected it to be Shell, was stunned.

The girl stepped out, one thumb lodged in her mouth and the other dragging a stuffed animal. Naturally Elphaba looked for a parent, but the entire wing of the castle was desolate.

Elphaba didn't particularly like children. She hadn't even liked them when she was a child. So there was no concrete reason for her to hold a hand, but she did anyway. She didn't anticipate how quickly the girl would react, but somehow the grip the skinny little fingers had on her own pleased her more than anything else she'd experienced in the Vinkus so far.


	27. Mother Monkey

Having unsuccessfully roamed the castle in the hopes of handing the child over to someone, Elphaba began to read the signs of the girl's impatience and led her outside. At least the courtyard was within sight of any worried parents who happened to glance out of a window and out of sight of any worried parents who wanted to rip on their son's girlfriends some more.

Smoothing her dress and sitting on the edge of a fountain, Elphaba slid away from the girl, who had taken a seat close enough that her slight body was within contact.

Not knowing to be mindful of Elphaba's aversion, the girl was content to watch her legs swing around from her perch on the ledge. Elphaba watched too. She didn't think the girl was cute, per se. She had lovely curls trailing down her back and skin almost identical in hue to Fiyero's, but she looked like a child that had been born into adulthood. Her eyes were too intelligent. And what is adorableness, if not innocence?

Reaching for the toy the girl had discarded on the stone beside her, Elphaba examined the imitation monkey with its beady eyes. "Evangeline," she read off the handwriting on the tag.

The girl's head snapped up.

"Evangeline?" Elphaba repeated.

The girl pointed to herself, lips curving into a smile at the recognition.

"Elphaba," Elphaba said, pointing to herself.

Giving it a try, Evangeline was able to make it halfway through the second syllable. She climbed up onto her knees and shook Elphaba's shoulder when she lost it.

Elphaba sighed, not wanting to dissect her name. Evangeline nudged her again, her dark eyes imploring.

"El..."

"El-"

"-pha-"

"-pha-"

"-ba."

"-ba." Evangeline clapped once. "El-pha-ba. Elpha-ba. Elphaba, Elphaba, Elphaba."

"Don't wear it out. I'm going to needing it for a while," Elphaba requested, disregarding the language barrier. Evangeline stopped as if she understood. "So what's the deal? Do you come here every Lurlinemas? Spend it with strangers, liars, drunkards and hypocrites?" Elphaba's shoulders shook as she laughed it off. "Where's daddy? Off gallivanting? And your mother had the nerve to lose track of you, huh? But you're going to forgive her because she has eyes like stars and a voice like a lullaby."

Evangeline plopped down and took Elphaba's hand. She lifted it closer to her eyes, studying the underside; moving and bending the fingers and then matching the action with her opposite hand. When she finished she scampered across the circumference of the fountain to where a basket of flowers was covering the wiring.

"Not as exotic as you thought, right? Try dealing with it every day," Elphaba remarked. Even talking to someone who didn't comprehend was talking to a someone.

Breaking a blue wildflower from its stem, Evangeline attempted to shove it into her hair and huffed when it fell out. Elphaba helped her secure it behind her ear, remembering the flower embedded in her own tresses. She grabbed Evangeline's toy monkey and waved it around, pressing it into the hollow of the child's throat. "Monkey see!"

"Mun-kee-see?"

"Monkey do!"

As the fur of the animal tickled her, Evangeline swatted at it and Elphaba lost her hold on the torso. The monkey went flying into the fountain, centred between the shoots of water. Evangeline cried out and reached over the edge of the water as far as she could, grasping the air.

Elphaba was helpless as Evangeline tugged on the strap of her dress and pointed at the blotch at the bottom of the fountain. "What am I supposed to do?" she asked, vouching for her uselessness.

Evangeline stared at Elphaba and then adopted a look of absolute resolve. She scooped up the skirt of her dress and bent her knees to jump. Elphaba caught her by the waist, but as soon as the chubby feet hit the ground, Evangeline's mouth fell open and she began wailing.

Agitated, Elphaba clutched at her dress and waited for the girl to stop. She didn't.

"Fine," Elphaba decided, stooping over to unstrap her heels. "But someone ought to tell that monkey he's not meant to swim. Or to fly, for that matter." She climbed over the partition of the fountain as primly as she could given her attire and the shock of cold water sloshing around her knees produced a squeal Elphaba didn't know she had in her.

Bracing herself, she crouched down and immersed her arm, trying her best to ignore the churning water that was soaking through her dress and splashing her face. Her hand faltered over the monkey and she pulled at it, clearing out of the path of the roaring falls as fast as she could.

When Elphaba turned to hand Evangeline her monkey, she found the girl waist deep in the fountain, watching the ripples distort the reflection of the castle. She grinned and then pointed at her own reflection, splayed out halfway to Elphaba's.

Still in disbelief, Elphaba scooped up a handful of water and flicked it at Evangeline. It took a few seconds before Evangeline retaliated. Then Elphaba's revenge. Then Evangeline. Then they were both splashing for no apparent reason.

"You'll swim in the fountain, but you won't swim in the ocean?"

Elphaba froze and straightened up. "Fiyero! I was just...uh...it's not what it looks like!" She dropped the monkey on the ledge, a shadow of runoff leaking off of it, and tried to pluck away the fabric that was clinging to her skin. "I hope it doesn't look like what I think it looks like."

Caught somewhere between worry and amusement, Fiyero lifted an elated Evangeline out of the fountain and supported Elphaba as she stepped out. Now that the sun was set, both were left shivering in the half-hearted veil of Kiamo Ko's lights.

"Well, I'm pleased to see you're making friends," Fiyero commented as Evangeline wrung the excess water out of her hair. He knelt down to her level and she shook the remaining drops out at him with a laugh before chattering away in the native language.

Elphaba only understood snippets, but she could spot the basis. Fiyero took Evangeline's hand and began leading her away. Before she knew it, the girl was a shadow waving back at her.

Staggering backwards to nurse the unsuspected longing in her heart, Elphaba could instantly place the shape of a gangly object beneath her as she sat down. She pulled the monkey into her hands and looked around for a sign of Fiyero. Then, abandoning her heels, she tore through the castle barefoot trying to find the owner, who was no doubt imparting the details of her evening to anxious parents.

Swallowing her apprehension, Elphaba forced herself to where Baxiana was leading a conversation with a pack of middle-aged noblewomen. She tapped the queen on the shoulder and tried to ignore the look of unadulterated horror she earned.

"_What are_ _you_ _doing?_"

Elphaba's voice was a low enough so the women poking their aquiline noses into the discussion couldn't be privy to the matter. "I was just-"

"Why are you _wet_?"

"There's a little girl who forgot her toy by the fountain. She'll be heartbroken if she leaves without it, but I can't find her. Could you ask around to see if anyone's seen her?"

Baxiana turned back to her group, muttering, "Leave it on the shelf over there. If she loves it enough, she'll find it."

"It's not _that_ easy."

"Sure it is."

"You're not doing it for me."

"I'm busy at the moment."

Elphaba dug her fingernails into her palms. "What kind of queen are you?" she snapped at Baxiana's back. "What kind of _mother_ are you?"

The group erupted in gasps and exclamations as Elphaba set the monkey on the appointed shelf and stalked off to wait for Fiyero on the beach. When he found her, her eyes were trained intently on the ocean, unconcerned for the sand clinging to her skin and the tangles forming clumps on her shoulders.

"You never told me you had such a way with children," he said, joining her despite the money invested in the tailoring of his suit.

"I deal with you every day. That's a start." The energy wasn't there to enforce the jab.

Fiyero combed soggy petals from her hair. "I'm thinking we should hightail it out of here tomorrow."

"But we're having _so_ much fun."

"I can see that." He traced patterns in the sand with his index finger. "How did you find Evangeline?"

"She found me."

"I see." Fiyero wet his lips, dancing around the issue. "And what's bothering you?"

"What's bothering _you_?"

Falling back on his elbows, Fiyero turned his head upwards for a moment. "Do you believe in shooting stars? Never mind..." He stopped and recalibrated himself. "Just...as soon as swaggering gentlemen like me learn how to think, they learn to compare. And comparison can be humiliating."

"Oh no, his castle has _ten_ pools!"

Building up a mound of sand, Fiyero spread it over Elphaba's foot. "Avaric has nine uncles that visit his family's estate every Lurlinemas, get drunk and sit around talking nonsense until four in the morning. Galinda and her parents pick a different destination every year and spend their Lurlinemas just the three of them. Your nanny and your aunt visited with their wet kisses and their happy negativity, while Nessa and Shell counted presents and your parents had _this_ _look_. They were so proud of it. I have had intruders in my home every single Lurlinemas and I never realized how wrong it was until now."

Elphaba's leg twitched, sabotaging his efforts to encase it. "It's not _that_ bad."

"Elphaba, this entire night my parents gave me ten minutes of their time. I've gotten _that look_ more times from _your_ parents than _mine_."

"Are you sure it wasn't the _we've-finally-done-something-right-by-Elphaba-maybe-she-won't-screw-it-up-this-time _look? Because they had the same look sending me off to university."

"At least they sent you to university because you wanted to go. Not because they wanted to get rid of you."

"You didn't want to go to university?" She wasn't too shocked.

"I was ready to launch my career as a male model."

"Thank Oz they sent you to Shiz!"

Fiyero shot upright. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Through laughter, Elphaba managed to expel, "You're handsome. Alright. But you have so much more potential!"

"Well, I'm thankful they sent me to Shiz too." He leant forward, pressing his lips to the spot just below her ear. "I'm just saying that at least your parents had the decency to drill me before jumping to conclusions. At least they were open-minded-"

"People are only open-minded to what they want to be open-minded to."

He rested his chin on her shoulder. "Elphaba, what's wrong?"

"I have a feeling in my gut that things are going to change soon."

"That's not a bad thing!" Fiyero exclaimed, throwing himself back. If Elphaba felt change, it was his opportunity to execute it. "That's a great thing! This time...this time _we know_ it's good!"

The rumble of the ocean distracted Elphaba again. How could something writhing with movement be so static? It was the mysteriousness of it. The uncertainty; the vastness that terrified her. She flipped her gaze back to Fiyero and was taken by surprise by the emotion that overwhelmed her.

For all of the books she'd read, words failed her. She could smash her heart into smithereens and still not know what it was saying. The only translation she could gather was a powerful sense of security. If she trusted anyone to get her through the panic and doubt of change, it was him.

Jumping up, Elphaba reached for Fiyero and pulled him up with her. "Why don't we leave the day after tomorrow?" she suggested.

"Why?"

"Tomorrow I'm going to learn how to swim. And you're going to teach me."


	28. The Talking Dead

**A/N: I inconvenienced a lot of stuffed animals moving my Festivus party to accommodate this Apocalypse rumour! But that's okay! Because it means you get to read this chapter! Which I am so excited to present! CAN YOU TELL? I bet you can guess who wins the Favourite Character of the Chapter Award! **

**Melena Thropp, I dub thee spirit animal of Anna Karenina, Emma Bovary and Hester Prynne. And let's throw in Blanche DuBois since you quoted her. I need a moment. I think a fangirl faint is coming on.**

* * *

><p>Melena felt as though she'd been sleeping for a thousand years, dimly conscious of her surroundings and her emotions, but not of her perspective. Different times; different Melenas. Only now was she hacking through the vines that chained her limbs and peeling back the blindfold that had made the darkness so believable.<p>

For months she had cowered beneath her covers lamenting what had been lost to forty-eight years of failure; what she had sacrificed in the names of love, of her family, of her appetites and her desires. Sensitive, like all beings, to what she thought constituted happiness, though, perhaps a touch too sensitive. Days of psychological warfare. The sputtering engine of her heart and the cement block surrounding her brain. Wasted years gaining on her, the gaping pits in her home.

She couldn't tolerate the noise of the television, the more assertive noise of the radio, the raucousness of rush-hour traffic, the silent holes in Nanny's gossip where she was the topic, the layers of dust collecting on the family photo, the one shirt Frex had forgotten, the glow-in-the-dark stars on the ceiling of Nessa's room, the starred map of Oz in Elphaba's room, Shell's crayon masterpiece on the wall, the torn up garden she used to tend, the danger of her own thoughts.

So, abandoned by everyone and abandoning everything, Melena brushed aside the wreckage and boarded a plane to Quadling Country, battling the undertow in the struggle to reach the shoreline herself.

The city of Ovvels hardly qualified as a city, though it encompassed all the classic ideas of one. There was something about it that both plagued and intrigued Melena. Maybe sometimes the road less travelled was less travelled for a reason. Humidity rendered her hair curlier than usual and adhered her bra to her skin, but she tightened the dark fabric of her shawl around her shoulders.

The air was too thick, the roads too still. The village was shaded a grey sort of calm; dead almost. Sunken eyes peering through curtains, bent on reading the inside of the outsider, stripping her down to the mass of naked shame and lonely determination she was. Something had driven her out of Munchkinland, out of her marriage, away from her morals.

Forced by a lack of addresses to resign to a technique of colour description, Melena was searching for the red cottage between the yellow and the blue. Out of the corner of her eye she noticed a young man watching her with curious eyes and inclined her head the opposite way towards the marshy landscape gripping the horizon, sickened by her sudden yearning to deviate from her mission in favour of cheap attraction.

Switching her view from the wasteland to the grisly sky, Melena almost overlooked her destination. As she neared the dilapidated hut, she found the plank serving as a door ajar and could make out the faintest pounding on the other side of it. Softer than a drum, but perfectly rhythmic. Ba-boom, ba-boom, ba-boom.

Before Melena came across the courage to knock, the door was nudged open.

"Pleasure to what I do owe?"

Thrown off by the familiar backwards command the Quadlings had on the Ozian language, Melena blinked heavily.

An underrated linguistic prodigy, she had mastered the Quadling language and reassured the old crone she was fluent. Then, taking liberties she refused to acknowledge to herself, Melena sidestepped the woman and invited herself into the home. "I'm looking for someone by the name of Raven Hand." She wheeled around, waiting for the response she had already surmised.

The woman eased the door closed and it emitted a disgusting creak that almost had Melena on the floor sobbing. Her nerves were shot. "It is my understanding that you are the mother of an old friend of mine," she continued, her voice barely above a whisper. The word _old_ felt like sacrilege on her lips.

Eyes on Melena. Two with the force of a million. A simple, wrinkled face, hooked nose, puckered mouth. Not unlike the nanny Melena loved so much. But eyes uncannily shrewd, speaking volumes. Eyes that knew exactly when and where she had lost a child, but forcing an admission anyway.

Melena scanned the one-room lodging and stumbled over to a rickety chair with a damaged leg only to find that she couldn't bring her knees to bend. She drummed her fingers over the table accompanying the seat and faltered across the upturned rim of a mirror so clandestine she hadn't seen it lying there. Tilting it upwards, she looked into the sunset-tinted glass and flung it away.

"That's me!"

"Mirror." Raven Hand's voice was a low registered croak. And clearly not impressed.

"But-"

"Mirrors reflect."

"But-" Silenced again, Melena crossed over to the disheveled cot, examining the glass trinkets that dotted every ledge and crevice – a menagerie of animals and people alike. She ran her eyes over the vase of wilted flowers beside an empty picture frame, browning sheets of blank paper scattered across the floor, the cracked dishes and the loose beads along the nighttable that resembled a dissembled rosary.

"Do you have a profession?" she asked, remembering Turtle Heart's own eccentric career.

Raven Hand bared her hand and traced her opposite index finger over it. "Reader of palms."

Waiting for a returning inquiry, but not getting it, Melena inwardly laughed at herself. So all along she really had been a manneristic prude. "I'm a housewife."

"Not a very good one. Where is the house you married?"

Melena bit the inside of her cheek, seating herself on the edge of the bedstead, away from the light poking in through the doorway. The thumping she had heard upon entering was accumulating into a melody, taking possession of the outer reaches of her mind. Her elderly companion lowered herself into a chair as gracefully as her arthritic limbs would allow and waited, looking like a toad that had escaped the trauma of a witch's pot.

Reading the question posed behind the woman's eyes, Melena answered, "I guess one could say I have always depended on the kindness of strangers."

The Quadling was up again, attempting to strike a match above a candle in the centre of the table. Melena rose to help, but was distracted by a screeching noise behind her. She spun just in time to catch a teapot moving by its own accord, dragged by invisible hands. She blinked and it was still.

"Kindness? Forgiveness?" Raven Hand wondered, finally succeeding with the match.

"I won't ask for forgiveness for something I didn't do. A child with a hand in a cookie jar isn't necessarily stealing a cookie," Melena murmured, unable to surrender her vigilant watch on the mobile antique. "Advice, yes. Closure. An epiphany. A glass of water, maybe." She deflated, sinking back onto the bed and resting her face in her hands. "How do you cope? How do you lose everything and pretend you didn't?"

"Lose everything?" Raven Hand picked up a glass figurine and stared at it as if the concept was new to her and the object explaining. "But not everyone has lost everything, so you stay."

"I don't want to _stay_. I don't want to suffer. I don't want to _see_ it. I don't want to _cause_ it. I don't want anything to do with anything."

Raven Hand laughed – a terrible, throaty cackle. She reverted back to standard Ozian, the mother tongue of the remainder of Oz, implicating Melena as the intruder she was. "Lady Goodness to have very sober lifestyle."

Covering her lips with her fingers, terrified that the woman had somehow smelt the wine through the mask of toothpaste, Melena loosened her thoughts in an effort to guard her tongue. "I held Turtle Heart's hand as he died. He fathered one of my daughters, but never got the chance to see her. I contrived the entire affair. I suppose something wasn't going to let me off unpardoned, because now I've lost my own children. And so, I offer you my sincerest condolences. There's no deeper pain."

For a moment Melena thought she saw Raven Hand cocking her arm. She sealed her eyes shut and waited for the blow, but it didn't come.

"Where did they go?"

"I'd rather not..." Melena responded tightly.

"Where did they go?"

"I don't know. I don't know anything anymore. I'd pass through hell for a glimpse of how they're getting along without me."

"You must be very important figure in Land of Munchkin."

Melena was taken aback. "Well, I'm the daughter of the Eminent Thropp, but I don't see-"

"To always be talking about yourself."

Avoiding the beady eyes of her accuser, Melena pouted. "Well, I've been locked up with only myself for company and I haven't had a hobby in the past thirty years beyond homemaking. Even then, I've hated it from day one."

"You born housewife?"

Frustrated and communicating it through a catty tone of voice, Melena hissed, "_No_. I used to dance and sing and read and write and paint and run and smile. I loved the piano more than anything. People like me thrive on flattery." She laughed. "I loved people, but they didn't love me. As soon as I was married and found myself living second best to my husband's work schedule, I realized what a mistake I'd made. I missed out. After so many years of waiting for my big adventure, I hadn't given myself credit enough to believe I could have achieved it on my own. Escaping my life became the sole purpose of it. When it failed, well...all I have left to do is die. My life is as good as over." She was faintly conscious of the beating sound intensifying.

Raven Hand hadn't moved in the slightest. "Your children's not over."

"They don't need me anymore than I need myself."

She looked exhausted all of a sudden. "Assumptions to be used to prevent lots."

Melena clicked her tongue. "Yeah, so are condoms. What's your point?"

"Lady to use much of one and none of other."

"Look-" Melena began pacing around the room. It wasn't much of a course, but it soothed her anger substantially, "-I was unhappy. So what? I tried to deal with it. Simple, instinctive human impulse. Granted, I might have taken it a little too far. I might have tossed everything I had out the window, down four stories into oncoming traffic. That doesn't mean I deserve to feel this way! _No one_ deserves to feel like this. I feel like there's nothing. Like there will never be anything but nothing. I just want to be _happy_."

Melena sat down again and sighed. Raven Hand seemed completely indifferent to the soul purging. "I don't suppose you could predict my future, could you?" But as soon as the words left Melena's mouth she realized that the future – once a broad, romantic prospect – now seemed horrifying.

Starting with a noise deep in her chest that sounded suspiciously like a chuckle, the Quadling reached for Melena's hand. Melena saw the appendage coming towards her and wondered how a palmreader could have such withered hands, before snatching her own away. "Could you...uh...could you guess? I don't want to know for sure."

"Play not about you. Play _never_ about you. Your time as lead is over, but the play keeps playing. No erase. Just ease. Erasing not your job."

"And how am I supposed to ignore everything that's happened?"

"Stupidity to ignore, courage to accept." Raven Hand stared straight ahead, her eyes changed and her voice curved. "Punishments to be gifts. Gifts not to come back one day. Gifts find new home." The candle, which had been flickering for some time, faded into nothing as if someone had passed a hand in front of it.

The words rang true in Melena's ears and if she was going to lose her composure, she didn't want to do it in front of the unsettling Quadling woman. "I appreciate your help and your...um...sympathy. I suppose I came here to understand myself-"

"Who to be _myself_?"

Melena flashed the old woman a smile.

Taking inventory of the encounter and the smile now etched on Melena Thropp's face, Raven Hand hypothesised just how intrinsic the need to step behind her smile, her beauty, her charm and her belief that people would catch wind of her pain and use it as ammunition against her was in this woman. "One more stranger to ring doorbell," she warned.

Melena smoothed her hair over to one shoulder and tugged. "Well, here's to hoping they're as good-looking as your son." But just before her departure, she stopped and faced Raven Hand one last time. "If you don't mind my asking, where do you think Turtle Heart is now?"

Exposing her missing teeth in a wide grin, Raven Hand clasped her hands together. "Turtle Heart to come behind you. Turtle Heart to thank you and goodbye."

That's all it took for Melena to bolt, completely aware of the gust of wind over her shoulder. She ducked under a laundry line, formulating a shortcut back to the inn, naive to the old man across the road watching her with curious eyes and the package of pinlobble leaves that slipped out of her pocket and thudded in the mud behind her.


	29. Shell: The Great and Powerful

**A/N: As you know, a large chunk of this story centres on holidays. And if you've just surfaced from the precipice under your rock, guess what? It's the holidays! ****_I know_**** it's sappy, corny, cheesy and every other foody word that describes total cliché, but I have to say that I hope you all give someone a hug and a great big "I LOVE YOU" no matter what you're celebrating - be it the few days off, the frozen dinner in the microwave or some quality literature shoved into an otherwise useless decorative sock. And maybe, ****_just maybe_****, that person could be the woman who had the courage to push you out of her nether regions? Or the dude who collaborated with her on the project? Or the sibling that stood in front of the television at the worst possible time? Or the friend who told you there was something in your teeth with shameless volume? The point is, I began this story because I was experiencing problems with my parents and I realized today how far things have come from that stupid point, but also how much unhappiness there is in the world. And I hope you're all happy. And I hope you're all satisfied with the hugs I'm sending your way via this update.**

**Now, that weight having fluttered off my chest, let's let the queen of drama-rama reign! **

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><p>A plan had been stirring in Shell's mind since the Thropps' return from the Vinkus. If Nessa had formulated a coup against Melena for wronging Frex, who was going to formulate a coup against Nessa for wronging Elphaba? He had been keeping a watchful eye – mind you, one eye was still trained on the television - on his family and consequently decided that change was to be instituted sooner rather than later.<p>

A family meeting was called. Fiyero was told Elphaba wanted to see him in the living room, Elphaba was told Nessa wanted to see her in the living room and Nessa that a marathon of her favourite dramedy was running.

"What the hell is this?" Fiyero exclaimed, the first one arriving to the scene. Elphaba wasn't far behind, her forehead creasing. Nessa was stunned.

Taking advantage of Fiyero and Elphaba's work schedules and Nessa's assignment load, Shell had tactfully set about packing his things. Now all the sports bags he had moved in with were displayed across the carpet, stuffed to the limit with his belongings. And a few snacks he had filched, but no one needed to know that.

"I'm moving out," Shell declared. "No one cuts my meat for me around here."

"_To where?"_ Elphaba narrowed her eyes.

Shell pulled on his favourite red hunting hat. "Dad's picking me up right about..." He glanced at his phone for reference. "_Now_." He didn't think it was possible to feel so free announcing that he was moving back in with his father. A good side note for future situations.

Nessa was livid, but struggling to obscure it. "Daddy shouldn't be driving in this weather."

Flicking open the drapes behind the couch, Shell revealed the lazy cartwheels of a few snowflakes. "You're right. A snowflake could knock off one of his eyelashes."

Rolling up her sleeves and rubbing her elbows, Elphaba scolded, "You should have told us! We wouldn't have said anything!"

"Right, _I'm sure_." Shell smiled at Nessa. "I'm going to sleep in a real bed tonight!" He shrugged on his coat and threw his bags over his shoulder.

The first send-off was directed towards Fiyero. Shell embraced him. "Maybe now you can do what you've gotta do." He proceeded to press a ten-dollar bill into Elphaba's hand, hugging her and saying, "A little something for your troubles."

"I can't accept this," she said softly, forcing it back at him.

"That's alright. I stole it from Fiyero's wallet anyway." Then Shell stopped at Nessa. "Shit, Ness, you're looking a little nauseous. You're welcome to stay with _daddy_ too, you know. He explicitly stressed it."

The jealousy didn't affect Nessa so badly as the knowledge that Shell was doing the right thing. She never thought Shell capable of throwing down a wild card that could surmount her multiple rounds of success. "Enjoy your mattress," she snarled.

"I love you too, Ness," Shell said cheerfully, taking the revulsion as a compliment. He nodded at Elphaba and Fiyero and disappeared; the only thing remaining of his presence being the imprint he had left on the couch.

* * *

><p>"IT'S LOCKED! YO! WHAT'S THE HOLD UP? BRAIN-LAG. BUFFERING...BUFFERING...BUFFERING. UNLOCK. THE. DOOR." Shell gestured wildly in front of Elphaba's face. "INTERRUPTION!" He clutched his heart. "ELPHABA, I THINK I'M HAVING A HEART ATTACK!" He sat still. "I give up." He began pressing buttons at random – rolling down windows, increasing heat, setting off windshield wipers.<p>

He switched the volume notch for the radio on too quickly and music blared through the car, assaulting their ears. Elphaba snapped out of her trance and flipped it off. She realized their stationary state and corrected it. "You should have told me it was locked."

"I guess it never crossed my mind." Clutching the handle to let himself out, Shell paused halfway. "You good?"

Elphaba pressed her forehead against the steering wheel. "I want to go home."

"Elpha-bum! We _are_ home!" He slammed the passenger door and rounded the car, wrenching open Elphaba's side and dragging her to her feet. He bounced around to shake off the restlessness of the forty-five minute distance from Frex's bungalow. "Look! Remember the time I broke my arm? It was falling out of that tree! And Nessa's birthday party when we drew faces on the balloons and let them go? We were standing there!"

"_Please_, contain yourself." She squinted through the glare of the snow at the number of the house. Her arm suddenly became too heavy for her body as she went for the doorbell. How many innocent-not-so-innocents had been in this exact position?

"Ring dat bell, girl!" Shell shouted from across the lawn.

"I did!"

"The neighbour still has that creepy statue in the window!" Shell tilted his head, stared at it and then ran for Elphaba. He pressed his ear to the door and listened to the echo of the bell resounding through the house. "Is she home?"

"I'll check my tracking device."

Shell waited. "Well?"

"What?"

"What did the tracking device say?"

"Ugh."

Bewildered, Shell ran off again. Elphaba pulled at her ponytail, returned to her car, retraced her footprints to the door and tried the bell again. Images of the worst case scenario flashed through her mind and her heartbeat stampeded through her body. How long had it been since anyone had actually seen Melena? Had she been starved by her own lack of culinary talent? Drowned herself in the laundry machine? Run herself through the heart with the pencil beside the chore list?

"Shell, heel!"

Withdrawing from his exploration of the backyard, Shell poked his head around the corner of the house. "I'm not your dog!"

Elphaba shot him a look.

"Woof." He relented a few steps, just in time to get the first-class view of a car pulling into the driveway next to Elphaba's. Elphaba grabbed at his sleeve before he could make a run for the driver. The driver – much emaciated, gaunt in the face, walking as if she weren't there – a travelling drawing; a ghost.

Melena showed no emotion as she stepped out into the frigid air, but the dark colours she was wearing had her looking like Nessa after a raid of Elphaba's closet. "The lost ducklings!" she cried.

"Quack?" Shell guessed, exchanging a look with Elphaba.

"Don't just stand there! Come and help!" Melena popped the trunk and began unloading plastic grocery bags into the snow.

Shell trotted over to offer his assistance. Elphaba could make out the movement of his lips, but not of Melena's. This momentous reunion and Melena was acting like she had been gone for no more than a half-hour grocery errand.

"Could you do it for me? You know how much trouble I have with the damn thing." Melena held out the key to Elphaba and then yanked it back, scrutinizing the young woman. "Look! Your hair is all static-ey. It's the weather, I know, but why? Isn't Mother Nature a woman with _woman problems_ too? Oh well, I bought some dryer sheets. We'll do something about it."

"How about letting me in?"

"Well, if you twist my arm." Melena shook away the unneeded keys, letting them clatter along the bottom half of the keychain securing them together, and handed the bunch to Elphaba.

Without meeting Melena's eyes, Elphaba opened the door, remembering just how to jiggle the knob. She pushed it to its limit and stepped back to allow Melena and Shell to pass by.

Melena hadn't touched a thing, inducing Shell to investigate the state of his room. He took the stairs two at a time and left mother and daughter to themselves. Elphaba collected the remainder of the bags and closed the door behind her. Her mother was already in the kitchen. "Did you go somewhere? You're tanned," Melena observed, setting a can of soup on the top shelf of the cupboard above the stove.

Elphaba didn't know how Melena had noticed anything. She hadn't caught her looking. "How can you tell?" she asked, glancing down at her hands.

"I can tell."

"We took Nessa and Shell to the Vinkus."

"We?"

"Fiyero and I."

"Oh." Melena paused. "How is Fiyero?"

Pulling out a chair for herself, Elphaba reclaimed her nearly forgotten post at the table. "Perfect as ever."

"And Shell?"

"Convinced he's god's gift to Oz."

"And Nessarose?"

"Convinced she's god's gift to Oz."

"And...um...Frex?" Melena's back was still to Elphaba, but Elphaba could see the building rigidity in her shoulders.

"I could hazard a guess, but I don't like repetition."

"I suppose you're right." Melena shoved a loaf of bread into the freezer. "And you?"

"Do you suddenly care?"

Melena couldn't keep the lid on her emotions. She whirled around, red suffusing her cheeks. "I _always_ cared! That's why I hid everything! And I would have gotten away with it if not for you meddling kids!"

"If you cared so much, why did we spend a year on our own barely getting by?"

"The first time I chased after you you hated me for it!"

"If not for Fiyero two of your children would have ended up on the curb and one in an asylum!"

"Who do you think told Galinda to bring Fiyero with her when she visited you?" Melena's tone dropped substantially – giant to mouse. She rested the heels of her palms on the counter to stabilize herself. "For the past year and a half I've thought of nothing but you and your siblings. Every memory I could bring to mind, every smile you've coaxed out of me. What was the point of coming if you were doing so well for yourself? What more could I possibly have to offer?"

Elphaba threw her arms down against the table and buried her head in the crevice. "Because Fiyero proposed and I said no and I know he's going to leave!"

For a moment the only sound was the thumping of footsteps above them as Shell rediscovered his hiding spots. Melena opened a drawer, drew something from it and took the seat across from Elphaba, cradling the object in her lap.

She caught Elphaba's wrist, wordlessly convincing her to look up. Elphaba noticed a tiredness in her mother's eyes that had never been there before. "I remember when I was in the hospital after Shell was born. I was doped up on every type of drug you could name, but I remember so _clearly_ every person who told me it was miracle I had survived. Probably the event of my survival helped me to realize how much I had wanted to die."

"Don't tell me this-"

Melena tightened her hold on Elphaba's hand. "When a horse breaks its back, you shoot it. When a bird is shot, you break its neck. When a woman's heart is that damaged, what's there left to do? But no one of course, was willing to do me the kindness after all of those complications they had seen me through. Frex had taken Shell home and rarely turned up at the hospital. Nanny was juggling the three of you. I can only imagine what they would have done to me if they had known what was sprinting through my mind. Probably loaded me up on more painkillers. They seem to think numbness is the answer. I did too. By that point I was already cozy with the demons."

She had been staring at the floor, but looked up at Elphaba with renewed warmth. "But then one day you popped into the room all alone. You were only four. You barely ever spoke. Your teachers were always calling me down to discuss selective mutism. Workshops, councillors. Things I thought would only embarrass us more. But you climbed up onto the bed, took my hand and said, 'When are you coming home, Mama?' Later my sister explained to me how you had called her and begged her to come down to Rush Margins to drive you to the hospital because no one else was doing it. All I could think was, 'how does this little girl - who hasn't a friend in the world, who's constantly bossed around by her little sister and whose parents have never told her they love her - have such a big heart?' I figured maybe I was doing _something_ right and I could hold it together long enough for you to grow up. But, Elphaba, if there's one thing I've learnt since then it's that it's better to be bleeding than to be dead."

Elphaba couldn't recall the memory that obviously had such a big impact on Melena, but part of her didn't want to. She didn't like to think of Melena as a broken being. Melena wasn't allowed to be vulnerable. "_You_ can't die."

"Elphaba, darling, listen to the voice that's telling you you're not a hopeless case. If anyone can look common sense in the eye and tell it to fuck off, it's you."

Using the table as support, Elphaba pushed herself up. She floated over to the counter, her hand settling on a wad of bills and flyers. "Did you go away too?" she asked hoarsely, wrestling with the part of her about to betray her emotions.

"I _did_," Melena replied flippantly, also rising. "I gave up."

"What? Where did you go?"

"Lurlinemas didn't feel like Lurlinemas, so I gave up."

"Nothing's changed. You still scare me."

"I'm a lover, Elphaba, not a fighter." Melena pressed something into Elphaba's hand and grinned at her. "The door is that way." She pointed towards the front hall.

Calling for Shell, Elphaba nodded her head in Melena's direction and barrelled towards the car, which at this point seemed more of a refuge than any other abode. As she settled in the driver's seat, she opened her palm and stared at the shard of green glass cutting a crease into her skin.

Shell opened the opposite door, inviting in a gust of air, and then let it sag against him, conflicted. He slammed it shut and ran back into the house, to where Melena was waiting just inside the front door. Now a head and a half taller than her, his bear hugs felt more like bear hugs.

"You know what?" he murmured into her hair.

"What?"

"The toilets flush counter-clockwise in the Vinkus." He laughed. "You know what else?"

"What else?"

He pressed a sloppy kiss to her forehead. "I miss you."


	30. That's How You Know

**A/N: The plan, the plan. Somehow a flaw always springs up in the plan. This update was intended for a while ago, but my laptop overheated like the ***cover your ears, kids*** it is. (My birthday is in April for anyone who loves me enough.) I lost the entire chapter! And when you're 16, anxiety prone and experiencing heart palpitations because this is the story that refuses to end, you've got to know when to call it a day.**

**I love the colour purple, but not on your visage. Don't fret. I know it's long. That's what happens when you set out on a quest to master the Tolstoyan interior monologue before you're 40. Suddenly there's war, peace and a noob named Vronsky that you might be cheating on Fiyero and/or Shell with. What? Who said that?**

**This ****_second-last_****_chapter_**** brought to you in part by biology class. ****_Biology class._**** Not only will they murder frogs for brats to cut open, but they'll send you to the office for emphatically condemning the practice.**

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><p>It hadn't taken long for Nessa to follow Shell's example and now separation anxiety was a pretty euphemism for the agony Elphaba was feeling. Fiyero's legs were coated in bruises from the thrashing she did at night and his worries lying with the little bits of hair he combed out every time she communicated another possible worst case scenario that seemed so much more probable because Frex and Melena were Frex and Melena.<p>

Elphaba endured all of Frex's withering looks as she spent two hours baby-proofing his home and listened to the ring of Melena's reproaches as she waved a feather duster through every nook and cranny of her home lest Shell develop an allergy. They each received an instruction sheet on how to con Shell into doing his homework using a trail of gummy animals, loud opera music and the closet under the stairway. And she sincerely hoped they had consulted the reminder sheet she left detailing the times Nessa enjoyed her snacks and the tip to monitor her ozternet usage because, of late, she'd been straying far too close to the mature side of that fanfiction site.

Things were nomadic again and Elphaba didn't have the foresight to predict where they would settle. When she did find a moment to acknowledge Fiyero's smile, she couldn't help but see the dissatisfaction that he swallowed along with the bile that rose every time he thought of the horrible N-O she had fed him.

Elphaba stared out the window, rubbing a cloth against a plate that had long been dry. The sun was reflecting off the glimmering windows of the neighbouring apartment buildings, cutting through the air not occupied by the snowflakes zooming down with a vengeance.

"We should go to Gillikin someday."

Shooting a last look at the snow and following it to the ground, Elphaba set down the plate. "Why?"

"I dunno...it looks nice." Fiyero folded a page of the travel section of the _Munchkinlander_ issue he was reading to show her.

She pursed her lips softly. "The hills look like curled up elephants."

"They do, don't they?"

Elphaba didn't say anything. She loved him too much to lead him through a conversation so inane. Turning her back to him, she opened the fridge and poked around for nothing in particular.

All of a sudden, Fiyero threw down the newspaper. "Elphaba, how long are we going to continue like this?"

"What do you _mean_?" Elphaba repeated, secretly just as frustrated with him. There was no bridge over the moat surrounding them.

"You're making me feel like I _work_ for you." His chair scraped against the floor. "You know I love living here, but you treat me like wallpaper. Have you run out of chores for me to do?"

"Of course I need you around._"_

"Then why not just-"

"_Because_ I'm not ready yet," she growled.

Fiyero ran his hands over his face. "I'm never going to understand you, Elphaba." Moving away from the kitchen, he unhitched his coat from the hook in the front closet. "I'm going for a walk. I'll be back in half an hour."

Remaining true to his word, Fiyero returned at said time and set off straight to the bedroom where Elphaba was curled up on the bed reading. He pulled a duffel bag out of the closet and began folding clothes into it. It took Elphaba a moment to grasp what he was doing. "What's that for?" she demanded.

"Guess what?" Fiyero's face was too animated to have witnessed everything typical of the Munchkin suburbs. "Av's in town! I thought I might stay with him for a few days. I know you like to spend a bit of time thinking."

"I need you here!"

"Because you're around so often?" Fiyero stood up straight, rummaging through a drawer. "I think it's great that you have your mom back and fantastic that you're helping your siblings readjust, so I'm just going to stay out of your way until everything's cleared up."

"Fiyero, don't do this to me."

"Av's got to have someone to show him around. He thinks legends on maps are for decoration." He kissed her cheek. "Don't worry, it'll only be a couple of nights."

* * *

><p>"I don't do blind dates, Sophie. I don't care how hot your yoga instructor is. No, it's not because I'm too good for a screening process. If he's so attractive, why don't you get at him? Because he's <em>married<em>? Then why were you offering him to me? Good answer. No, I do not own fishnets_._ No, I don't still own that dress. No, I never figured out what the 'A' stood for."

Elphaba's original plan had been sidetracked by the display. Melena rubbing an iron across one of Shell's uniform shirts, cradling her cellphone between her shoulder and her ear, and modulating the volume of the television with the other hand. (It was a very important episode of _The Lonely and the Mindless_, as Zeldina the sexually starved margreavess and Jolik the run-of-the-mill fugitive were due for a kiss. Not that Melena enjoyed it or anything.)

It was official. Melena was "Octopus Mom" again. And Elphaba a little greener.

Balancing the phone between her chin and her shoulder, Melena addressed Elphaba. "Can I help you with something, sweetheart?"

"I had to ask you something, but-"

"Shoot."

"No-"

"_Shoot."_

Elphaba exhaled loudly. "It's _nothing_."

Melena nudged the phone back to her ear. "Sophie, how do you know when you're in love?" She listened to the murmur of an enthusiastic reply, nodding and then turned back. "Your aunt says you know it's love when the sex goes from good to great."

After exchanging a few more insults with her sister, Melena hung up and threw the phone into the cushiony depths of the hamper of Shell's laundry. Elphaba could see plainly from the way Melena's smile faded that she didn't have the handle on herself she would have liked.

"I've been meaning to ask you how you're doing...er..._financially." _Elphaba formed the statement as delicately as she could, trying not to touch on anything that would cause Melena the shame she, unlike Sophelia, knew was there.

"You wouldn't believe how much money is trapped between the couch cushions."

"If need be-"

"No." Melena shook her head slightly. "The day the divorce went through my parents sent me my dowry." She noticed Elphaba's expression. "No need to say it. I _know_ my mother is a bitch. Now, before things get all nice and comfortable again, let me just say that if _you're_ looking for a dowry, you can take it to the little note in my bank account that says _'Keep walkin', lady.'_"

"So it _wasn't_ you."

Melena's curiosity was enough to de-velcro her from the shadowy cinematography of her soap. "What wasn't me?"

"There was a huge transfer into my bank account, but it wasn't you."

"Well, don't say that!" Melena cried. "Now I feel _bad. _I spent all the money. I went on a wondrous journey across Oz, conversing with the dead and making peace with my demons."

"You don't have to lie to me."

"I wasn't lying!"

"I'm sure it was some _trip_."

"_I wasn't lying_!" Melena whined. "When have I ever lied? Look, I'll make it up to you. I'll pay for your bridal bouquet or something."

Elphaba's shoulders visibly slumped and Melena knew she had hit the filling. "There's not going to be a wedding. Fiyero left me."

Melena scrutinized Elphaba, trying to toe her way around the matter. "Did he specify that he was leaving you?"

"He made it fairly clear."

"Oh." Melena reeled around in understanding. "It was the good old, 'You keep the baby.' Or maybe it was the 'We're just not compatible, baby. Thanks for doing my laundry for a year.' The, 'I love you, but I have to go. My balloon will be here any minute now.' Or maybe it's your own stubbornness."

"He just _left_ me. You ought to know. It's happened to you enough times."

The blow didn't land. "Elphaba, that boy is_ obsessed_ with you."

"What difference does it make? I'm obsessed with things. Shell's obsessed with his empire. Galinda's obsessed with writing fiction about herself. Boq's obsessed with reading Galinda's fiction about herself."

Melena waved her arms around as if sensing the pulse of energy in the air around her. She'd never looked more like a cartoon princess. "Love doesn't disappear. Sure it fades, but it doesn't disappear."

There was only so much Elphaba could take at a time without feeling the need to slam her head against the wall. Since things seemed to be reverting back to how they were, she figured her coping methods would too. "I'm going to lie down."

"Have fun!"

Gee, she hadn't been so perky when_ she _was the one wallowing in despair.

Elphaba grumbled to herself all the way to bed, where she was she hit by a wave of sheer, unbridled memory and the sharp, jutting reef of remorse. Her bookshelf – her roof. Her books – her friends. Her room – her sanctuary. She knew it right down to the pink sleeve of the shirt she had never worn hanging out of the bottom drawer and the uncapped pen lying lonely on the desk. Folding back the covers on the bed, Elphaba snuggled in as far as she could, remembering the days when the mattress had seemed bigger than life itself. Melena found her two hours later hanging over the edge of it, pawing through a novella from her youth. Elphaba looked up, noticed the tender, dreamy look in her mother's eyes and returned to the refuge between the lines.

"You're too big for this room."

"My butt's not as big as it looks in this position, I promise."

"It's time for you to go." There was the rough-smooth sound of waterproof material sliding against itself and Elphaba realized Melena had retrieved her coat.

"I'm never getting off this bed."

If Melena had a ruby for every time Elphaba had promised that, the Quadlings would be mining her purse instead. "I know loneliness is a figment of the mind, but it's scary as shit. Elphaba. Take it from someone who's spent more than half her life in bed doing things not always juicy enough for an 'R' rated movie...it's not worth it." She laughed to herself. "You know, that first Lurlinemas, one of the first things Fiyero said to me that we had the same eyes. Not the colour, but the look."

"That means he was looking at _your_ eyes."

"That means he cared enough to care."

"Go away."

"Get off your ass before I dig out the broom and pry you up myself."

From the occasional throbbing sensation in her lower back, Elphaba knew Melena was serious. She wiggled herself out of the cocoon she had burrowed into and snatched her coat.

"When the time comes you'll shake it off, face your fears and run to the person waiting for you on the other side."

Elphaba winced. "Couldn't you just-"

"I'm not doing it for you this time, Elphaba."

* * *

><p>A melancholy gust of wind howled at the window and the heating vent sputtered, exerting itself to accommodate the atmosphere's mood swings. But that's all Elphaba heard. No intake of breath beside her. No intake of breath against her. No beating heart. No tickle of inquisitive fingers. No whispered jokes that were hilarious for all the sense they didn't make.<p>

Elphaba rolled over and then rolled back. She had always thought herself impervious to this slavery of sentimentalism, but the bed was too big for just her. Kicking away the covers, she lay flat on her back and stared at the ceiling. If she could wait a few more days Fiyero would be back and she could feel satisfied again.

Life was hard. Daunting. Impossible. But for the string of cynical indiscretions and social faux pas her life was, hadn't she done pretty well for herself? Life was funny. Confusing. Indescribable.

She thought of Nessa and Shell. She remembered crowding around the radio waiting for the joyous music of the host announcing school was cancelled due to the blizzard. That time during the Mediocre Drought when Frex was placing the sprinkler on the lawn and Melena turned it on before he could avoid the spray, and later that night when Frex rigged the faucet so Melena would get her comeuppance. She remembered the hike at Lake Mossmere, pulling back branches so they would whack Shell in the face. She remembered piling Nessa's hair into all sorts of outrageous styles for fun when they had company and didn't want to take out their dolls to share.

And she treasured those memories. But she treasured them in a different cell than the ones that were at the forefront of her mind.

When she succeeded in inventing a dish that neither Shell nor Nessa could find reason to complain about. When Shell came home shoving an 'A+' in her face. When Nessa took a deep breath and pushed her way through the doors of university. When the shaky cub whimpered a squeaky thanks.

The things she was responsible for. The things that were hers. She had been the chef, the tutor, the mentor, the spokesperson. And that was greater cause for celebration than the consecutive domination of the honour roll, the steady incline of the promotional ladder and referring to herself as the Thropp Third Descending all combined.

There was no ignoring what was written on everything she cast her eyes at. Frex and Melena would die without a cent to their name. Divorced, desolate and probably depressed. They would waste away; they'd be a pile of bones worn down worse than their love, but they'd been unstoppable. They'd live and die knowing that through all the pain, through all the deceit, through the terrible twos and the terrible teens they'd touched the lives of four people for the better. And isn't that what life is for?

Maybe Elphaba was climbing without a harness, but she wasn't afraid of falling. She knew what she was ready for and she knew who she wanted to be ready with. He would call her his and she would call him her get-out-of-Southstairs-free card. Maybe, _possibly_, she could be selfish just once without feeling guilty about it.

She crossed the room and rummaged through her sock drawer for a thick pair. Laundry day was nearing and as a result she was nearly out of clothes. Her fingers roamed the wooden bottom until they came across a foreign object.

Unearthing the globe that Fiyero had gifted her with on the last night of their stay in the EC, Elphaba shook it and watched the snowflakes drape the two figures in white. She ran to the closet, pulled on her jacket and shoved the item into the pocket along with the address Fiyero had left her. Thankfully it wasn't any further it was. The short distance snagged enough on her patience. She hoped no one noticed the red light she had run...a few times in a row.

Through the revolving doors of the lobby, to the concierge desk for directions, up six floors and down a hall. She pounded on the door and could hear the explicit response on the other side. Avaric threw the barrier open, prepared to commence attack, but slid into sleazy casualty when he placed the identity of his guest. "Well, well, well. Little-Miss-Afraid-to-Commit. You must have a midnight craving and heard the gourmet chef was in town."

"All night I've been thinking about what a nice ass you have." She tried to dodge him, but he blocked her.

"You're not alone, I can promise you that."

"You're mistaken. I was referring to your mouth. You know, where the shi-"

"Elphaba?" Fiyero wasted no time in stepping out of the room and closing the door in the face of a disgruntled Avaric. "Even I find it hard to deal with him this early," he muttered and then stood up straight and looked at Elphaba expectantly. "Is something wrong?"

Elphaba pulled at her hair. "Something is very wrong, Fiyero. We were both alone tonight when we shouldn't have been." Clamping his lips closed, she continued, "I'm sorry for the difficulties I've caused you. And I'm sorry for the difficulties I'm _going_ to cause you. The day of the Lion cub I knew you were different. You were so outrageously stupid compared to anyone I'd ever known, but you were so much better and you didn't know it. And we're going to do well. You'll dry my tears and I'll make you smile. And we'll move to the Emerald City and live down the street from the Wizard. And we'll give sex another go. And we'll try to get Avaric and Galinda together because we know it's going to happen anyway. And we'll spend Lurlinemas with our families. Maybe it won't be perfection, but a dream isn't a dream without a catch."

"You're ranting, Elphaba."

"I came to ask you something." Removing the globe from her pocket, Elphaba held it close to her chest in plain sight of Fiyero. "Fiyero Tigelaar, will you marry me?" She took his hand to offer it to him.

A soft smile stoked an odd sense of complacency and Fiyero knew all the upturned corners had finally been smoothed out. He turned over the globe in his hands. "Yes, Elphaba, I will marry you." Producing the ring he had kept in his back pocket for so long, he slid it onto its rightful place and pulled Elphaba into him for the first of many kisses to come.


	31. The Lovers, the Dreamers & Shell

The Thropps did a lot of flying, with the exception of Shell. For the most part he haunted the airport. There was something demure in the resentful "I missed you's" of reunited loved ones. Something hilarious in the extensive line of twitchy women trailing from the ladies' room as men sauntered by. Something purely amusing in the clandestine trip-ups at the end of the moving sidewalk.

And when the wind died down, Shell would tug on the kite strings, drawing them back to the doleful Munchkin suburbs. Elphaba and Liir from the EC, Fiyero from his dreamland where the Vinkun teams repeatedly dominated their Munchkin counterparts, Nessa from the QC, Frex from god's cloudy kingdom and Melena from wherever her whims led her. He accepted every eye roll and anecdote and "you might want to contemplate a haircut" from those dorklings as if they were gold.

That's how Shell realized that more than half the distance from one year to the next was used up in anticipation. The next episode, the next page, the next day, the next vacation.

Or in his current case – the next restroom break.

He sunk lower into his seat. It seemed the most proficient way to mitigate the pressure on his bladder was to add more. Twenty years defying logic had never led him astray.

The glint of a taillight beamed through the broad window-wall and rebounded off Melena's phone into his eyes. He blinked. He tapped his foot. He laughed at the people stepping in from the blizzard with a severe case of "dandruff." He heard the final call for the one-oh-nine to the Emerald City and wondered if he should hop it. Fiyero and Elphaba had the biggest bathroom in the history of Oz.

He moaned. When the green voice of altruism had suggested that he convince both Frex and Melena to accompany him to the airport for Nessa's homecoming, he had been sure he'd be mediating a whole different kind of tension. Clawing, cursing. Maybe a little below-the-belt religious punning?

But the statues on either side of him weren't budging. The curvature of Frex's spine as he hunched over his novel was rather impressive. Then Melena slumped so far downward, she was nearly flat on her back with her legs spread in tripping range of the tourists suffering a bad case of blind enthusiasm. And baby made the adolescent gripping his knees, contorting himself around the armrests he hadn't been quick enough to claim. Oz dammit.

"I can't take this. I gotta pee."

Frex pushed his glasses up his nose, the whites of his eyes showing as he proffered up a dubious look. For a tall Munchkin, Shell was still pretty tall. "I thought you were waiting until your sister got in."

"You _said_ you could hold it," Melena reminded.

Shell settled right back into his discomfort, shoving their greedy appendages off his seat. "It's not _my_ toilet training skills up for debate."

"I know!" Melena tapped her temple. "How about a coffee run?"

"It's one _in the morning_," Frex snapped, dodging Shell's squirmy presence to shoot her a look.

"It's not every day _my_ daughter returns from studying medicine in Ovvels. I'd like to be awake for her stories."

Shell was up again, dancing. "Whose bright idea was it for Ness to fly in now _anyway_? My bedtime was an hour ago."

"Elphaba booked it because it was cheaper," Frex replied. Even when she wasn't present, Elphaba still managed to be ruthlessly frugal.

"But it's running ahead of schedule!" Melena added triumphantly.

"Okay." Shell wrapped one leg around the other. "Okay. Bathroom break. Coffee run. What am I getting?"

Frex returned to his novel. "A bladder infection."

"Oh, oh, oh!" Melena cried. "Get me a triple fudge mocha with whipped cream!" She blew Shell a kiss. He held his hand open to catch it and then waved it behind him. _Psych._

"Get her a chocolate milk. She won't know the difference."

Melena's mouth fell open. "That's _not_ true."

Shell forced her back into her seat by the shoulders. Where had Tyrannosaurus Ex been two minutes ago? "I'll be gone ten minutes tops. Dad, you look at me when I'm speaking to you. _That's better_." Detonation in 3...2... "I want you both in good condition when I get back. We've got at least fifteen good years 'till senility. Dad, no converting Mom." He heard Melena snickering and twisted. "_And you_ - you keep your clothes on. The last thing we need is a segment on _Fifty and Pregnant_."

He was in and out of the bustling restroom before they could think to protest, and on his way to the coffee bar when the perfect opportunity for espionage arose in the form of a group of giddy teenage athletes. He ducked behind them and threw glances at his parents in careful intervals, but all he could gather was that Frex seemed annoyed.

Frex _was_ annoyed.

He flipped a page and then flipped it back, concluding he hadn't the slightest clue which character was which and what was happening to whom. All his concentration was grinding up was the incessant snapping of the plastic case Melena kept popping off her phone and compressing back on.

"Could you stop that?"

She looked up innocently and then down at her phone. "You mean this?" And she did it again.

Ignoring her, Frex tapped his fingers against the armrest, one after the other.

_Snap._

"You'll never learn when to stop, will you?"

Melena turned to him with the brightest, most unashamed grin he'd ever seen. "Nope." She continued to beam at him and then threw herself into the seat Shell had previously occupied. "What's up, stranger?"

"The sky, the price of gas...my blood pressure now that you're around."

"So...how 'bout this weather?" She chuckled. "You blink an eye, the snow is gone, roll the other and it's back on the ground."

"How long were you planning that one?"

Melena sunk lower into the chair, blowing an exasperated breath through her teeth. "Two hours."

"I'm surprised you could stay faithful to it for that long."

"Alright, buddy, I can take a hint." She pushed her lips into a pout and stood up, crawling knee-first onto a seat a couple of chairs down. "I mean, you haven't seen me since..."

"Liir was born."

She moved back beside him, as if he wouldn't notice. "And before that-"

"Shell's graduation."

"And-"

"Elphaba's wedding. And, _by the way_, I haven't seen a dress so church inappropriate since Nessarose's baptism."

She pressed the tip of her finger to his nose in a playful swipe. "But you looked anyway." She swivelled in place, bringing one leg to her chest so she could pester him full on. "Besides, it was long-sleeved and high necklined."

"But it ended _here_!" In his fervency, Frex tossed a hand onto Melena's thigh and their eyes locked in challenge until he pulled away and she leaned in closer. As ever the case, she won by default simply because he didn't have the patience and she had the stubbornness. "And how have you been doing?" he asked tiredly.

"Still sweeping up cobwebs in the corners, but yeah, I'm alright. Things could be worse."

"Far worse," he agreed.

"Do you have a curfew too?"

"Eleven o'clock."

"_Seriously?_ Mine's _five_." She huffed and puffed and fidgeted in her seat. Frex pressed the spine of his book to his lips and stared ahead, through the square windows comprising the skeleton of the airport like transparent property squares on a Monozpoly board. "The other day I was watching a documentary on turtles. Did you know only one of one thousand babies survives? I don't know why it upset me so much, but I can't stop thinking about it. I feel _lucky_. I told Shell, but I don't think he understood."

"_Sheltergod's_ brain is a little too wrapped up in itself," Frex declared, encouraging a laugh out of Melena, who then politely pressed him for an account of his recent doings. He briefly explained how he had cut down his hours at the church.

"And I wonder who precipitated that decision," Melena sang in reply.

"My pride and my joy." He said so with unbridled clarity. Frex couldn't help the satisfaction that engulfed him while contemplating the accomplishments of Nessarose, Shell and – surprisingly – Elphaba. The only three beings with enough precision to shovel affection into the ache Melena had danced out with.

There was a void and then, "About a year ago I had a most blissful reunion with my piano on a rainy afternoon while my parents were at a conference at Shiz. Do you remember that old thing? I used to be glued to it – _glued_! Sophie had it moved to the house for me, so I've been giving lessons for pocket money. I forgot how wholesome it is to have a hobby. I haven't felt so alive in such a long time."

"Well, good for you."

Melena strained her ears for the tendrils of sarcasm and mockery, but she didn't hear them. In fact, all she wanted was to hear the tone again. "And I've been trying to work on my culinary skills. Though I still haven't found a recipe of Nanny's that doesn't end up a bludgeoned vat of pungent nothingness."

So her life was filled with petty distractions to alleviate the darker things lying below a thin layer of ice, but she couldn't find it within herself to think wrongly of it. Wasn't that what everyone's life was? Frex seemed to fill the thought with a nod.

"You know what I thought was especially nice?"

Sometimes dealing with her was equivalent of dealing with a four year old, but he was sure she only acted that way around him. "What did you think was nice?"

"When you walked Elphaba down the aisle."

"She sent me a letter full of arguments as to why I should."

"She did the same trying to convince you to pay her tuition!" Melena bit her lip. "I know I was supposed to be watching Fiyero's face, but I couldn't get my eyes off you two. Like the turtle babies. And you losers! You were so _serious_!"

"Weddings are solemn events, Melena."

"Do you remember ours?"

One question could bring about the entire world. "You don't run off with the Eminence's daughter on New Year's Eve, dress yourself in a church restroom, write out a series of poetic vows only to get a reply vow of 'ditto' and _forget about it_."

"And we slept on the floor because we didn't have a bed! Then the next morning all the scrambling because your suit and my dress had to be back at the Rent-a-Tux place by nine!" Melena was practically bouncing up and down and then, all of a sudden, she stopped. Her eyes widened and her lips pressed into a condemning, shapeless line. "Can you imagine how different our lives would be if we conceived Shell that night?"

"No, I can't."

"We're rich, Frex. We're the richest people in Oz."

"Melenianaires."

And everything faded. Like every light in Oz had been extinguished and Frex and Melena were the two lonely figures situated in the tacky globe on Elphaba and Fiyero's mantle.

Together they accomplished none of what they had set out to do. Four years since Fiyero and Elphaba's term in loco parentis and they were still having trouble filling in the blanks. Some hype about a fountain in the Vinkus, Shell preferring to sleep on the kitchen table than the couch, Fiyero being the _sun_. But that was the hidden beauty of disaster, wasn't it? Maybe Frex and Melena hadn't succeeded in raising children without woe, but maybe it was woe that made them wonderful.

The lights flickered. Heartbeats went awry. Youth pondered final retirement in both parties. Frex looked at Melena and Melena looked at Frex. He pressed his lips to her cheek and hurriedly turned his flushed face in the opposite direction. Melena did the same, feeling her cheek as if it were infected. She gently smudged the kiss off her skin and slid it into her pocket to save for later.

"We..." Frex's voice cracked and he cleared his throat. The last thing he needed was to give Melena further reason to torment him. "We should go for coffee sometime. Or something."

"My mama told me not to associate with people of your sort."

"Then it's a mighty good thing you don't listen to her."

"Or you to your mother. Or Turtle Heart to his. Or Fiyero to his. Or Elphaba to hers. You know, I'm beginning to wonder what our job _really_ is..." She sat up straighter and pushed the thought downward, losing the state of mind for philosophizing as quickly as she had gained it. "But I'll warn you in advance. I do have three kids."

"Oh, forget it."

"Don't be like that, Daddy!"

Melena's pretty pink face, Frex's caustic wit and the sweet naïvety of Turtle Heart's eyes. Compassionate, accomplished and mildly boy crazy. And, in the distance, Nanny dragging the baggage with some hidden reservoir of strength.

"NESSA!" All tenderness forgotten, the two were practically mauling each other for VIP access to their daughter. And both lost out to the unusually burly movements of their son as he threw them aside and tossed himself into Nessa's lap.

"Hold me, Ness! You and Elphaba can complain all you want about me not going to university, but I have the hardest job! I'm losing it, babysitting these two!" He gestured absentmindedly at his parents and then recalled the styrofoam burning through the fingers of his other hand. "Take your coffee," he said in revulsion, shoving it towards Melena and turning back to Nessa, stroking the bow in her hair. "I can't keep up with them. I can hardly remember which one's planning a conversion mission to the Glikkus and which one's drafting an erotic novel!"

"I can see how you'd confuse the two." Nessa nudged Shell off her lap and clapped her hands together. "Daddy, I have _so _many stories for you!" She began chattering, oblivious to Nanny collapsing into a chair behind her and Melena's growing indignation at being snubbed.

Of the reckless emotion overhauls that seemed to be plaguing her family, Nessa found herself contaminated the worst. She carried the legacy of the first Thropp to successfully graduate from university and remained actively involved in the battle for Quadling rights. Though it had taken months and much consideration for her to slap a bandage over the wound named Turtle Heart, she had forgiven Melena and proudly collaborated with Shell on a speech recited at Elphaba's wedding titled "Today He is a Thropp." She kept her brother on speed-dial and held long conversations with him nightly, knowing full well he was her best friend.

Things had picked up swiftly and Nessa found out just how stealthy dreams could be. So stealthy that the yearning crept into her voice and her sleep and her morals without the slightest warning.

"...and Elphaba's applying for Wizomania tickets for me! I've been planning all the things I'm going to bitch – whoops! sorry, Daddy, when everyone around you speaks Qua'ati, words like that come in handy – I mean, _complain_ about. I'm practically Elphaba herself! Can you imagine?"

Then Nessa stopped and addressed her mother. "And _Mom_. I have stories for you! When the plane arrived and Nanny and I were waiting for help the caaa-utest Gillikinese attendant came by."

Melena rushed forth, dropping to her knees. She paused, composed herself and rested a hand on Nessa's slender ankle, her fingers grazing the heel of the ruby slipper. "What did he say?" she demanded.

"He said, 'Have a good night.' And I said, 'You too.' And OH-" Nessa threw her head back and wiggled her shoulders, assailed by elation, "-I swear in that moment we were infinite!"

"That's great, Ness," Shell interceded, "but who are we kidding here? Go Munchkin or go home." Intuition led to a discreet fist bump with Frex. "Which reminds me. Elphaba would have flown in, but _apparently_ she had an article on the Ozlympics due tomorrow. And what do I say to that? _Bull. Shit. _Aunt Sophelia knows more about the Vinkun swim team than she does."

"_Not _without good reason," Melena said.

Nessa nodded ardently. "I _know_, right?" She fanned herself with her hands.

Frex was not amused. "I'm glad Elphaba hasn't been corrupted yet."

Melena snorted, evidently not convinced. "She has her own Vinkun hunk of burning love."

"Elphaba would kill us if she was here now," Nessa muttered and then tilted her chin up, attracting the attention for herself again while she fingered the butterfly pendant dangling about her neck. "If you don't mind, I think we should head home. Nanny must be awfully tired if the snores behind me are any indication. Poor woman. I think she's a little sick of me."

Skirting Nessa to rouse Nanny, Melena shook her head. "She'll say that. Then she'll call you a slut, feel better and go back to normal."

"But Nessa's not a slut, she swears." Shell stuffed a fist into his mouth to stifle his laughter and, still immersed in the hilarity of the flashback, swung his arm around to clap Frex on the back, knocking the man forward a few steps. "Coming over for coffee and stories, dad-dude?"

"At _two in the morning."_

"Uh. Yeah."

"I have a meeting at eight tomorrow."

Rolling his eyes, Shell took the luggage Melena handed him and slipped into 'follow the leader' position. "The greater good can wait. It's family time. And if mom misbehaves we'll send her to bed."

"No, I'll be good, I promise!" Melena cried.

Reluctantly, but not so reluctantly, Frex accepted and started after Shell and Melena, who had Nanny in tow. Nessa, however, hung back for a moment, watching. She watched Frex and Melena make faces at each other. She watched Shell separate them, one on each side. She watched Nanny, half-asleep, moving through her daze with surprising vigour.

She thought of curly-headed Liir running around with stubby legs and heavy footsteps. She thought of Fiyero with his perpetual smile and the arm permanently encircling Elphaba. And she thought of Elphaba and the steely look of determination in her eyes.

And Nessa realized that it was her turn. She realized that all the strife had finally been brought to a charming culmination.

For now, at least.

**THE END**


End file.
